Wedding toast tips that will help calm speech-giver

Giving the wedding toast: For some it is something to dread; for others, a speech comes easily. Some may prepare a speech before the event, and some may let their heart lead the way that day.

Whatever the case may be, planning can help ease nerves, as well as curb the length of the speech.

The toast should be given after everyone has a drink in front of them and the reception is fairly quiet.

The best man stands and raises his glass. If he hasn’t commanded full attention, he may tap his glass with a spoon, according to a special occasions speeches handbook by Toastmasters International. The toast should last two to three minutes, and no more than five.

Members of the Lodi Toastmasters, a speech club, gave their tips for giving a wedding toast.

“Don’t go on and on — keep a structure,” Tina Vaughn said.

“Toasts can get out of hand,” Virginia Snyder added.

For format, Lori Templeman said the best man should give a history of how he knows the groom, tell a story, offer advice, encouragement and congratulations. He should be straightforward, emotional and humorous. He can even use props and do a little roast, but then follow with something serious, Templeman added.

So who should give a toast — and to whom?

• Traditionally, the best man begins with a toast to the bride and groom, followed by a response from the groom, then the bride.

• The groom speaks about his bride, offers thanks for the toast and thanks to both sets of parents. The bride can follow suit.

• One or both fathers may offer a toast to the couple and thanks to the guests as well as an invitation to join in the festivities.

Other toast tips on etiquette:

• Those being toasted do not drink until after everyone else has.

• It should be heartfelt and sincere and personalized by the giver.

These tips and more can be found in “The Complete Book of Wedding Toasts,” by Diane Warner.

Here’s a sample toast by Steve Templeman, member of Lodi Toastmasters:

“Thank you all for coming to witness the happy occasion of the wedding of Homer and Gertrude. They are very pleased and excited that you could attend. I’m so pleased to be a part of this wonderful occasion.

“I’ve known Homer since fifth grade, and we’ve been close friends. When he met Gertrude, I could tell right away that she was the one.

“I now offer a toast to Homer and Gertrude: To a happy life, greath health, and many children. Today is the beginning of a great partnership. To Homer and Gertrude.”

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