» Dress for success with new advice books

» Wedding cake can make or break special day

» Good organization equals smooth catering

» All that glitters isn’t brilliant, experts say

» Inside scoop on necklines, bodices

» Toasting tips for happy pair

» New era sees rise in marriages

» Language of flowers speaks to newlyweds

» Bridal gift ideas from baubles to bubbles

» Couples make adventuresome choices in rings

» Pre-nuptial agreements good idea, lawyers say

» Long-lived couples discuss what makes marriage work

» Pomp, circumstance meet love, romance

» San Francisco hotels attractive, close

The Associated Press

You’re in love, getting married and hoping to stay that way. But you know the odds are not all that good for American marriages.

Take some comfort from the voice of experience. Or rather, the voices: Three couples who’ve logged at least 60 years each of successful matrimony offer some homespun advice tested over times of war, economic hardship, and illness. All now live in the Bronx at Kittay House, senior housing sponsored by Jewish Home & Hospital.

There’s Marion Kessler and her activist husband, Sam, who eventually became chairman of the New York chapter of the Amalgamated Clothing Workers of America. Married 66 years, they’ve survived the Great Depression and separation during World War II, raising two daughters along the way.

Money was tight, but they never argued about it, they say. Each week he’d hand her an envelope with money for household expenses.

“I never had to ask for money,” she says.

“And I never asked how she spent it,” he says.

Eve and Philip Fine have been married for 64 years, producing two daughters. They cemented their relationship by deliberately cultivating mutual interests. Fine, an accountant, and his wife first tried investments. Then bridge. Finally, they found ballroom dancing, something they enjoyed until Fine started using a walker.

“I love the rumba,” declares Eve Fine. “We danced every weekend. We even had our 50th anniversary in the dance studio!”

Libby and Saul Schlosser, parents of two children, were wed 61 years ago. They still are the same sweethearts they were as students at Eastern District High School in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn, their romance undimmed by separation during World War II.

“Everything’s the best about Libby,” says Schlosser, who was an office manager for an optical supply company. And his wife says, “He’s such a joy to be with, always kind, always pleasant.”

So these six people got together and talked about what makes a marriage happy. Some of their advice:

• Present a united front. Don’t denigrate your partner to anyone else. Remember the wonderful things that attracted you to your mate, and don’t be shy about letting others know about these qualities.

• Gain perspective from trouble. All marriages will present problems along the way, and events like war, separation, illness or financial hardship will test a couple’s strength in dealing with them.

• Look for someone who shares your values. Any couple can expect to argue, a normal part of human behavior. But sharing similar values and goals can keep them from serious, destructive fights that can destroy the marriage. “When we had an argument one of us always gave in,” says Kessler. “It was me!” both he and his wife chorus.

• Money matters. Pick a mate you trust, and trust him or her. Set your financial goals together and work together to meet them.

• Keep love alive. Infatuation fades, but a couple can sustain attraction, enthusiasm and the comfort of sex over time. “If you keep your love alive you won’t get bored,” says Mrs. Fine. And her husband responds: “It’s only natural to look at a beautiful woman as long as you go home and take those feelings out on your wife.”

• Try to make your partner happy. People who love one another try to be understanding, considerate and generous.

• Respect your partner’s opinion. You may not always agree, but you should listen.

• Families are what make you happy. Don’t get swept up by family disagreements or in-law problems.

• And a little mazel. It’s love and luck. These three couples say for a long marriage, eat right, don’t smoke, exercise, wear a scarf and get enough sleep. Then if you love each other and have good genes, you can have a long, happy marriage.

Lodinews Home | News | Sports | Business
Features | Opinion | Obituaries
Classifieds | Archives

SUBSCRIBE TO THE LODI NEWS-SENTINEL

Please report any errors, omissions or changes to the Webmaster.

» Angelina’s Spaghetti House

» Arthur’s Party World

» Ayers, Walia

» Balloons Unlimited

» Bella Vista Italian Restaurant

» Blum Jewelers

» Cactus Mexican Dining

» Casa Gonzalez

» Century 21: Janet Graham

» Classy Rags Thrift

» Corina’s Custom Framing

» Cottage Bakery

» Creative Cakery

» Crepe Vine etc.

» Denise’s Catering

» Dermal Clinic, The

» Diet Center

» Elite Sedan & Limousine

» Elizabeth, The

» Fiddlestix

» Formal Connection

» Galletti’s Shoe Repair

» Gingiss Formalwear

» Giuffra’s Party Rentals

» Gizzie’s

» Grand Island Mansion

» Guild Cleaners

» Habanero Hots

» Hazel’s Bar & Grill

» Heavenly Floral

» Holiday Inn Express

» House of Fashion Bridal Salon

» Ironstone Vineyards

» Jazzercize Fitness Center

» John Borelli Jewelers

» Judy’s Alteration Shop

» Kahl Photography

» Klamath Meeting & Reception Facility

» Lakewood Drugs and Gifts

» Larsen’s Hallmark Shop

» Lasting Impressions

» Liene’s Bridal Shop

» Lockeford Springs Golf Course

» Lodi Bridal Event

» Lodi Flower Shop

» L&L Travel

» Maddie’s Antiques

» Marquis Entertainment

» Maxine’s Bridal Shop

» Merle Norman

» Merlot

» Milan’s Sport Collectables

» Ocean Avenue Bed & Bath

» Omega Restaurant

» Pampered Chef, The

» Phillips Vineyards

» Porfi’s Restaurant & Cantina

» Ramos Jewelers

» Riverboat II

» Ryde Hotel

» Seymour’s Tailoring

» Signature Videography

» Specialty Cakes

» Stockton Mattress Co.

» Studio, The

» Synowicki’s Jewel Box

» Taormina, Frank: DJ

» Tea Cottage, The

» Terra Photography

» Tipton’s

» Travis Cafe & Catering Company

» Tutto Bella

» Tux & Tails

» Tuxedo’s of Lodi

» Vikki Goodman Photographer

» Vintage Limousine and Sedan Service

» Weddings by James

» Woman’s Club of Lodi

» Woodbridge by Robert Mondavi

» Write Touch, The

» Zoop-a-Loop