Lodinews.com

default avatar
Welcome to the site! Login or Signup below.
|
||
Logout|My Dashboard

Life moves on in an empty nest

Print
Font Size:
Default font size
Larger font size

Posted: Tuesday, April 15, 2003 10:00 pm | Updated: 3:55 pm, Sat May 19, 2012.

Life. It's all about moving forward, growing older, moving on, stepping back, and looking forward. We celebrate some milestones and mourn others.

We embrace the future, and long for the past. We marvel at life, and sometimes curse its existence. We can breathe a sigh of contentment or sigh in resignation. We laugh at fate and cry at the hand we're dealt. We live life, but ultimately pass away from this existence. We resist change, but change all the same.

For life is nothing without change.

Theresa Larson

My life is no different. I've endured the changes, the bumps, and the bend in the road. My life has flourished and it has floundered. I've experienced great beauty and suffered at the hands of human ugliness. I've learned that change is both good and bad, and that resistance to change is futile.

I have gone from being a little girl who loved her parents, to being a young woman in love with a man. I became a young mother who loved with all her heart and soul, to an adult woman that discovered how much love can hurt. I evolved into a mature woman that discovered, once again, how wonderful love can be. And I have watched life unfold before me, unwilling and unable to stop its progress. I have endured the changes.

But nothing compares to the changes I have had to withstand as a parent.

Of all that I have seen, of all that I have done, nothing in my life has compared to the depth of emotion that comes with being a mom. I have loved my children and nurtured them and protected them with a fierceness that I never knew could exist.

Parenting is a tough job, and it is not for the fainthearted. It takes resolve and perseverance and tenacity in the face of obstacles. The depth of love and emotion felt for my children leaves me vulnerable. And with vulnerability comes the opportunity for great joy and moments of indescribable sadness. I have never done anything I have enjoyed as much as being a mom.

As a mother, I have prepared my children for living. But nothing has prepared me for their leaving. Logically, I knew it would come. One by one, it has happened and each time a piece of my heart has left with them. The day when my house would be completely empty of children's voices seemed so far away.

And now, it's here.

I watched, over the last couple of weeks, as my daughter Melissa carefully packed her childhood possessions into boxes. I listened to her excitement as she told me her methodical plan for her move to Roseville. I witnessed the flush of anticipation as she talked about her new job. I reassured her when she worried about her furniture fitting in the bedroom of the house she will share with her best friend.

My heart simultaneously swelled with pride at her approaching womanhood and withered in pain as I watched the undeniable finality of the change that I am about to endure.

Some don't understand my sadness.

"You're going to love having your house all to yourself."

Right now, at this moment, I don't love it at all.

Fortunately, I have been blessed with many friends that have taken a moment to check on me, to gauge my mood as the day that my baby was to be gone from my house approached. And despite her excitement, Melissa tried to be sensitive to my sense of loss.

"Mom, can you help me set up my new room? I don't think I can do it by myself."

I know that her request was both an attempt to soften the blow of her leaving and a quest for reassurance over any apprehension she may have felt over her move into adulthood.

Nearly 28 years to the day when my first child was born, my last, my baby girl, squeezed me harder than normal before I drove away from her new home. How is it that an event as monumental as this had come to such a quiet end? I can still remember my babies - how they looked, the sound of their voices, how they smelled. Shouldn't something that feels so sad have a sound louder than this deafening quiet?

The process of parental evolution is miserable. And one day soon, I'll be OK. I long for day that my heart no longer hurts when I pass an empty bedroom. Maybe I will learn to love having my house all to myself.

That change will be welcome.

Theresa Larson is the Lodi News-Sentinel's administration manager. She is married and the mother of five children. Her column appears the first and third Wednesday of the month. She can be contacted at 125 N. Church St., (209) 369-2761 or via e-mail.

Rules of Conduct

  • 1 Use your real name. You must register with your full first and last name before you can comment. (And don't pretend you're someone else.)
  • 2 Keep it clean. Please avoid obscene, vulgar, lewd, racist or sexually oriented language.
  • 3 Don't threaten. Threats of harming another person will not be tolerated.
  • 4 Be truthful. Don't lie about anyone or anything. Don't post unsubstantiated allegations, rumors or gossip that could harm the reputation of a person, company or organization.
  • 5 Be nice. No racism, sexism or any sort of -ism that is degrading to another person.
  • 6 Stay on topic. Make sure your comments are about the story. Don't insult each other.
  • 7 Tell us if the discussion is getting out of hand. Use the 'Report' link on each comment to let us know of abusive posts.
  • 8 Share what you know, and ask about what you don't.

Welcome to the discussion.

Recent Comments

Posted 8 hours ago by Joe Baxter.

article: San Joaquin County supervisors approve …

I am still wondering why someone that resides in Sacramento County should be concerned with San Joaquin County politics. Unless it is just …

More...

Posted 13 hours ago by Joanne Bobin.

article: Letter: Obamacare is not the program pr…

Good work, Mr. Barrow. You have identified many in the past, and now finally with some results!

More...

Posted 13 hours ago by Joanne Bobin.

article: Letter: Obamacare is not the program pr…

Thank you to the LNS for FINALLY rejecting a letter due to plagiarism. There have been countless instances of letters copied and pasted fr…

More...

Posted Yesterday by the old dog.

article: Letter: I’m not the one who should move…

Walter: Concerning "Swiftboats" another John did offend me. Kerry gives himself a Purple Heart while cutting himself shaving. …

More...

Posted Yesterday by Andrew Liebich.

article: Letter: Liberal policies damage our ind…

[sleeping] http://youtu.be/cA8FTjAzRR8

More...

Video

Popular Stories

Poll

Should graduations return to the Grape Bowl?

Lodi Unified leaders are moving Lodi and Tokay high school graduations from the Grape Bowl to the Spanos Center at UOP in Stockton. They cite limited seating, costs and unpredictable weather at the Grape Bowl. But others say graduations at the Grape Bowl are an important Lodi tradition, and one reason many supported renovating the stadium. What do you think?

Total Votes: 80

Loading…

Mailing List

Subscribe to a mailing list to have daily news sent directly to your inbox.

  • Breaking News

    Would you like to receive breaking news alerts? Sign up now!

  • News Updates

    Would you like to receive our daily news headlines? Sign up now!

  • Sports Updates

    Would you like to receive our daily sports headlines? Sign up now!

Manage Your Lists