I heard a person say that if you ask any mother she will tell you: Being a mother destines one to a world of boredom and a squandered career of excitement and opportunity. That person never rode on their son's motorcycle or backed up for the first time with their daughter driving their new car looking only in the rearview mirror.
I heard a person say that good mothers never scream, rant or rave no matter what their children do or don't do. That if a mother handles all situations calmly, everything is a guarantee to be a successful outcome. That person doesn't know that no mater what the situation, nothing is guaranteed except surprises and more than a few disappointing outcomes. That is, only if mom is lucky.
I heard a person say that being a mother is instinctual and is without surprises or embarrassment. That person has never taken a 2-year-old shopping all day. Something always happens, and each shopping trip is a struggle for control with a 2-foot tyrant.
I heard a person say that you really don't need an education to be a mother; anyone can be a mother after all. That person never tried to help an eighth-grader with introduction to algebra.
I heard a person say you always love your first-born a little more than the rest. That person has never had more than one child. Each child is loved more at every moment in a mother's life.
I heard a person say the hardest part of being a mother is giving birth. That person has never adopted a child and waited a year for that baby to become legally part of the family, all the while wondering if the child might be reclaimed on the 364th day. Clearly, that same person has no idea what is like watching your child (or grandchild) go to class on the first day of kindergarten, start the first day of college or leave home on the first day of military service. Any of these, any mother can tell you, is the more painful alternative to torture.
I heard a person say that being a mother is fairly easy and requires no management skills. That person never tried to coach a game they didn't really know how to play, or organize their son's Cub Scouts on an overnight outing, or had a sleepover for their 12-year-old daughter with eight other chattering 12-year-olds who kept you up until 3 a.m.
I heard a person say that once their child turns 18, their job is over and done. That person has never worried about their child's marriage, job, health, security, spouse or grandchildren. A mother's worries are not laid to rest until she has, period.
I heard a person say that telling your mother you loved her, respect her and appreciate her really doesn't matter much. That person does not know very much about motherhood.
Happy Mother's Day to all mothers or those who do a mother's job.
From a loving son of nearly 60 to his loving mother of 83, I love you. I respect and admire you and appreciate everything you have done for me. Because I know now, whether I was 6, 16, 26 or 46, you worried about me and supported me in everything I did or failed to do.
Robert K. Closson of Lodi is an educational consultant — and grateful son.