Lodinews.com

default avatar
Welcome to the site! Login or Signup below.
|
||
Logout|My Dashboard

My need for speed drew tickets and a few thrills

Print
Font Size:
Default font size
Larger font size

Posted: Tuesday, November 17, 2009 12:00 am | Updated: 2:51 pm, Fri Jul 9, 2010.

Didja hear about the dad who was a little disappointed in the progress his 12-year-old son was making through his journey called "life"?

The father was comparing his son to a great American named Abraham Lincoln. "Son," said the dad, "Did you know that when he was your age, Abraham Lincoln already had a job in a grocery store?"

The kid said, "Yup, and when he was your age, he was President of the United States."

All my dad wanted was for his kids to get good grades and avoid speeding tickets. My sister and brother did each of those beautifully. They each got lots of A grades and one moving violation (for which I was totally responsible).

I will explain: On my wedding day, as was the case in a family of true squareheads, we treated ourselves to a loud and slightly speedy celebratory automobile procession through the streets of Lodi. We were the last car in the parade and got kind of stranded by a red light at the corner of Pine and School streets.

I told my best man-chauffeur-brother to just drive through the light, because no Lodi cop would be so cold-hearted as to write someone a ticket under such happy circumstances. Wrong. We got the only cold-hearted cop on the force, who probably fought with his wife that morning — and he was our representative of Lodi law and he heartlessly pulled us over. I ain't saying it was an omen, but it did have an effect on the blessed union years later.

Anyway, after he scared my poor brother half to death, we got Mr. Law to sign the back of the marriage license just to prove there was at least one hard-hearted crime-fighter who wasn't afraid to show that, in his jurisdiction, no crime, no matter how insignificant, would go unpunished to prove him soft on crime.

So, in effect, I was the so-called surrogate in that violation and did pay the $5 fine (Lodi wasn't broke in those days, so since the city was solvent, it didn't have to rely on income from vehicular criminality fines imposed on best man-chauffer-brothers who ran red lights under duress.)

It's not like that these days. Kettleman Lane looks like a Chicago drug bust with all the red and blue lights these mornings ever since the speed limit went down to 35 mph. Each fine levied these days would have operated the entire city's functions for a week in 1952 money.

I didn't want to mention getting four speeding tickets in one weekend, but the statute done run out so I fear no black and white police cruiser and I am out driving. Funny what love will do to a fellow when 350 miles lies between him and his betrothed. So I set practically every speed record between Lodi and Glendale in a 1946 Ford "Thrifty-six." It was kind of a joke because the car only looked fast, with its Caribbean Coral paint job and leaded-in exterior (no extraneous chrome to slow the car in the wind).

Actually I ain't scared of nothin' nowadays because my cruise-control and 20 years of newly acquired self-control stands between me and another ticket. Getting tickets was never fun; however it did great things for my pulse rate and provided me with an occasional human interest treat. One of the judges I had to face in Central California was named Flossie Lobo. It's really hard to look at a name plate on a judge's desk that says "Judge Flossie Lobo" and manage to look serious and on point.

I think I did mention the Department of Motor Vehicles suggested in a letter to the legal owner of my car, my long-suffering dad, that putting a raw egg on the accelerator pedal of the car might take some of the speed out of the jack-rabbit starts to which I was addicted in those halcyon days of 25 cent gas, cheap tires and Saturdays off.

Interestingly enough, I never had an accident for the first 35 years of my driving cars, and even that collision was a fluke because of the other guy's lack of vehicular operational savvy. Dumb bunny was avoiding another car that wasn't even close.

Oh well, save for a bump on my daughter's lower lip, there was no harm and no foul, except of course, the fact I had to get a whole new front half of the car. A screaming Firebird 400.

A sad day for my children's dad.

Bob Bader is a writer and a practicing chiropractor. You may write him at bobbyo@softcom.net.

Rules of Conduct

  • 1 Use your real name. You must register with your full first and last name before you can comment. (And don’t pretend you’re someone else.)
  • 2 Keep it clean. Please avoid obscene, vulgar, lewd, racist or sexually oriented language.
  • 3 Don’t threaten. Threats of harming another person will not be tolerated.
  • 4 Be truthful. Don't lie about anyone or anything. Don't post unsubstantiated allegations, rumors or gossip that could harm the reputation of a person, company or organization.
  • 5 Be nice. No racism, sexism or any sort of -ism that is degrading to another person.
  • 6 Stay on topic. Make sure your comments are about the story. Don’t insult each other.
  • 7 Tell us if the discussion is getting out of hand. Use the ‘Report’ link on each comment to let us know of abusive posts.
  • 8 Share what you know, and ask about what you don't.
  • 9 Don’t be a troll.
  • 10 Don’t reveal personal information about other commenters. You may reveal your own personal information, but we advise you not to do so.
  • 11 We reserve the right, at our discretion, to monitor, delete or choose not to post any comment. This may include removing or monitoring posts that we believe violate the spirit or letter of these rules, or that we otherwise determine at our discretion needs to be monitored, not posted, or deleted.

Welcome to the discussion.

Recent Comments

Posted 17 hours ago by Thomas Heuer.

article: Letter: La Raza does support illegal im…

[thumbup] Thank you Walter I couldn't have said it better myself without taking 4 times as many words.

More...

Posted 17 hours ago by Joseph Wood.

article: Lodi Academy students on their way to h…

Another example of the incredible community spirit that exists in Lodi. It's a never-ending story.

More...

Posted 20 hours ago by Joe Baxter.

article: Letter: Friend’s car was wrongfully tow…

I have no sympathy for people who blatantly violate the law then whine when they have to suffer the consequences. The signs at the Lodi Pos…

More...

Posted Yesterday by Ed Walters.

article: Letter: Surprised by water bill

Until the meters were put in that flat rate was outstanding since you could use all the water you could get through a hose anytime you want…

More...

Posted Yesterday by Walter Chang.

article: Letter: La Raza does support illegal im…

"some bloggers here" Kevin, I was referring specifically about a handful of Archconservative/Retrogressive "Christain"…

More...

Video

Popular Stories

Poll

Loading…

Your News

News for the community, by the community.

Featured Events

Mailing List

Subscribe to a mailing list to have daily news sent directly to your inbox.

  • Breaking News

    Would you like to receive breaking news alerts? Sign up now!

  • News Updates

    Would you like to receive our daily news headlines? Sign up now!

  • Sports Updates

    Would you like to receive our daily sports headlines? Sign up now!

Manage Your Lists