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Dear Pharmacist Nobody loves me!

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Posted: Friday, August 3, 2012 7:29 am

Dear Readers: I was slurping Pho at lunch, and blurted to Sam that nobody likes me. He said “Why, you have faithful readers, constant letters expressing gratitude, your books are sold world-wide, your family loves you, even Dr. Oz and Mercola like you.”

Over the rice noodles, half joking, I said, yeah but ...

Pharmacists: Some don’t like me because I offer remedies from the “wrong side of the counter.” One acquaintance said, “There aren’t any health benefits to herbs Suzy, that’s why the FDA won’t approve them.” For $40 you can buy all of my books on Amazon and learn what they failed to teach us in six years of pharmacy school.

Physicians: Some don’t like me, because you (the patient) bring my columns in and question them. Most MDs don’t research daily, finding it’s easier to tell patients I’m wrong. Who pays the price for that? Sam is chuckling because soup is dripping down my chin. How are you supposed to eat soup with chopsticks anyway?!

State organizations: I speak at international conventions, to physicians, pharmacists and consumer groups, yet in 23 years, I’ve never been invited by my own state pharmacy organization, or university (of Florida — hint, hint). I assume they don’t like me because I’m too attracted to good nutrition, exercise and Mother Nature’s medicine cabinet. I’m feeling feisty. I’m pretty sure I accidentally spit on Sam’s napkin.

Retail pharmacies: I assume they don’t like me because I slow down productivity when customers take up the pharmacist’s time up asking about this so-called “drug mugging” effect. Hey, if retail pharmacies bought one copy of Drug Muggers for each store, side effects would diminish greatly. If a pharmacy didn’t stock a particular supplement, they could send you to the health food store. This reminds me of the movie, “Miracle on 34th Street.” Santa sent families to Gimbals because he didn’t have a specific toy at Macy’s. Now that’s integrity.

Not to sound like Debbie Downer, but my list gets longer by the mouthful. The religious people at my front door. They didn’t initially dislike me, only after they saw me peek through the window and scamper! The phone solicitor who I hung up on. My ex, whatever. Believe it or not, some vitamin makers don’t like me, because I have the chutzpah to dish about artificial ingredients and fillers. Someone has to tell the truth! (Yes, they are the size of King Kong).

Call me paranoid, but I think my waiter’s mad (despite my generous tip) because I’m typing while I eat, and occupying his table. Don’t like me? Take a number! I think I’m a nice lady, you can ask um, eh ... my mom. All kidding aside, I honestly do my best to serve others, my intentions are good, and I always “pay it forward.”

This information is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. For more information about Suzy Cohen, visit her website at



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