Dear Straight Talk: I separated from my wife last year after much unhappiness. Our youngest, “Jon,” 16, is living with his mother because she allows a no-rules environment — plus, he blames me for the divorce. Last year his grades sank. He got a minor-in-possession ticket for pot. He was involved in petty theft, and without asking, “borrowed” a family friend’s car for the night. I am worried sick. My ex obstructs me at every turn in providing him guidance and I’m the bad guy for being upset. What do you and your panelists suggest? — “Richard,” Sacramento.

Colin, 19, Los Angeles: Battling with your ex just means Jon suffers. Work around her. You can find ways to be with your son. Put him on the spot and ask him what kind of person he wants to be. Pose this same question to your wife. Best way to get them both to listen: admit your past mistakes.