Lodinews.com

default avatar
Welcome to the site! Login or Signup below.
|
||
Logout|My Dashboard

Girl faces pressure for not shaving

Print
Font Size:
Default font size
Larger font size

Posted: Friday, February 7, 2014 8:00 am

Dear Straight Talk: I’m 16 and unlike most girls I know, I prefer to be natural and don’t shave or wax. My friends accept this as my business. However, my stepsisters, with whom I share a room every other weekend, say I look gross with pubic hair and proudly display their shave and wax jobs. They say their boyfriends and nearly all guys prefer it. I have a boyfriend, but we aren’t to this point. However, someday in life, this point will come. Does it really matter to guys if a girl shaves and waxes? Also, how do I deal with my stepsisters? — Molly, Petaluma

Sarah, 16, Monclova, Ohio: The pressure to shave and wax is another way girls are made to feel insecure about their appearance. In all honesty, it’s a huge hassle and even harmful. Due to porn, it has become the norm for many guys to expect a hairless girl. What I’ve learned: If a guy respects and loves you, he’ll accept the natural you. If he doesn’t, he doesn’t deserve you.

Katelyn, 19, Huntington Beach: That your stepsisters make this an issue, but your friends don’t, shows who really cares. Remind them that you’re free to make your own choices. And dress in the bathroom.

Mae, 21, Santa Cruz: It’s true that today’s young men expect women to be shaved — BUT many guys (usually the good ones) don’t care at all. They’re just thrilled to be with you. I stopped at 19 because my then-boyfriend said, “Why do you shave?” And I was like, “Because I’m supposed to ...?” And he said, “Well, I don’t care.” And that was it! I stopped. It’s incredibly uncomfortable to shave pubic hair and Brazilian waxes (I’ve had one) are alarming painful. It’s great that you don’t shave. I’ll never go back. Your stepsisters are insecure. Don’t undress around them or anyone immature. As you get older, people become accepting. Tip: If things deepen with your boyfriend, explain ahead that you don’t shave in case he’s really reactive in the moment.

Brandon, 22, Mapleton, Maine: Find a way to ask your boyfriend about it. Lots of guys are grossed out by pubic hair. Others think it’s beautiful. Regarding your stepsisters, don’t let them bully you. It ain’t their junk down there.

Carlos, 18, Fairfax, Va.: I just asked my guy friends if it mattered and they all said they don’t care. Molly, be happy with who you are!

Moriah, 17, Rutland, Vt.: I’m on your side. I’ve given this thought and talked with both sexes about it. My conclusion: Girls tend to freak out over body changes and try to reverse them (losing weight when they develop hips, covering up acne, and shaving/waxing pubic hair). Their insecurity makes them act and look like 10-year-old girls! Boys admire a female confident in her womanhood, so stay confident! Let your stepsisters know you are comfortable looking like a woman.

Dear Molly: It’s true what Sarah said: This trend came from the porn industry, and according to the journal Sexually Transmitted Infections, contagious viral skin infections (Molluscum contagiosum), genital warts, folliculitis, cysts, and scars are increasing from it. It also has emotional costs for girls. All the focus “down there” (starting in middle school for many), causes over-the-top objectification of girls as sex objects. This consumes tremendous mental energy that would normally be spent on studies and activities that develop confidence and intelligence — which is what’s really attractive. Congratulations on avoiding an unhealthy trend. Like many girls, your stepsisters are caught up in it — and they’re being mean. Projecting confidence is your best defense. You might also pity their insecurity. — Lauren

Straight Talk Advice.org tackles youth’s toughest issues with youth’s wisest advice. Go deeper in today’s conversation or ask a question at www.straighttalkadvice.org or P.O. Box 1974, Sebastopol, CA 95473.

Rules of Conduct

  • 1 Use your real name. You must register with your full first and last name before you can comment. (And don’t pretend you’re someone else.)
  • 2 Keep it clean. Please avoid obscene, vulgar, lewd, racist or sexually oriented language.
  • 3 Don’t threaten. Threats of harming another person will not be tolerated.
  • 4 Be truthful. Don't lie about anyone or anything. Don't post unsubstantiated allegations, rumors or gossip that could harm the reputation of a person, company or organization.
  • 5 Be nice. No racism, sexism or any sort of -ism that is degrading to another person.
  • 6 Stay on topic. Make sure your comments are about the story. Don’t insult each other.
  • 7 Tell us if the discussion is getting out of hand. Use the ‘Report’ link on each comment to let us know of abusive posts.
  • 8 Share what you know, and ask about what you don't.
  • 9 Don’t be a troll.
  • 10 Don’t reveal personal information about other commenters. You may reveal your own personal information, but we advise you not to do so.
  • 11 We reserve the right, at our discretion, to monitor, delete or choose not to post any comment. This may include removing or monitoring posts that we believe violate the spirit or letter of these rules, or that we otherwise determine at our discretion needs to be monitored, not posted, or deleted.

Welcome to the discussion.

City of Lodi Leaf Pickup Schedule

Video

Popular Stories

Poll

Vote on the biggest local story in 2014: See poll below

It has been an eventful year in Lodi, from the antics of a wild turkey named Tom Kettleman to the announced closure of the General Mills plant. What do you see as the biggest story of the year?

Total Votes: 294

Loading…

Your News

News for the community, by the community.

Mailing List

Subscribe to a mailing list to have daily news sent directly to your inbox.

  • Breaking News

    Would you like to receive breaking news alerts? Sign up now!

  • News Updates

    Would you like to receive our daily news headlines? Sign up now!

  • Sports Updates

    Would you like to receive our daily sports headlines? Sign up now!

Manage Your Lists