default avatar
Welcome to the site! Login or Signup below.
Logout|My Dashboard

Boyfiend gets a ‘little rough’ when he drinks

Font Size:
Default font size
Larger font size

Posted: Saturday, September 7, 2013 8:39 am

Dear Straight Talk: My stepsister and I are both 17 and almost like real sisters. We share a room and lately I see bad bruises on her body. She confided that her boyfriend got drunk at a party and thought she was being too friendly with another guy so he was a “little rough” afterwards.

She says he apologized the next day and she forgave him. She says it was kind of her fault because maybe she was being too friendly. She wants it kept confidential because if her dad found out he wouldn’t let her see him and would probably “beat the crap out of him”. She says she’s overweight and this is the only boyfriend she’s ever had. I’ve told myself she’s old enough to make her own decisions, but what if something worse happened because I didn’t say anything? — Woodland

Kira, 20, Moraga: Please tell your parents! A similar thing happened when my sister was raped. She hated me at first for telling our parents, but then she was grateful. Your stepsister needs to end the mindset that this is her fault and that her dad will beat the crap out of this guy. My dad said the same thing, but he didn’t! Find the courage and tell your parents! They can probably talk to her and ‘get the info’ themselves without it sounding like it came from you.

Brie, 22, San Francisco: She could get really hurt. Talk with her about how serious this is. Suggest she see a counselor about her self-esteem. Self-esteem is worsened when an abusive partner tells you how ugly you are and how nobody else would ever want you. If she doesn’t grasp the severity of the situation, tell your parents. She will end up thanking you. You could also take her to a women’s shelter and let her hear first-hand stories.

Katelyn, 19, Huntington Beach: If she feels too ugly to be loved without him, this isn’t love and you should gently confront her about that. She may be old enough to make her own decisions, but this isn’t the right one! Remain emotionally close to her so she isn’t fully dependent on her boyfriend. If the abuse happens again, tell your mom and the authorities.

Ryann, 16, Tustin: Drinking is no excuse for hitting your girlfriend. By forgiving him, she only enables him to do it again. Please take this to the school counselor or your mom. Most victims don’t take action until it’s too late. Though it will cause bumps in your relationship, helping her is the most unselfish thing you could do.

Dear Woodland: If there’s anything I support “snap” decisions about, it’s guys beating their girlfriends. This is a zero-tolerance issue. Teen dating violence is as serious as adult domestic violence. According to the National Dating Abuse Hotline, one in three high school relationships involves physical or sexual abuse. You think your stepsister’s self-esteem is low now, if she doesn’t break up and get therapeutic help you’ll need an electron microscope to find it in five years. The key is getting her help not punishment. Don’t delay telling your parents or call the National Dating Abuse Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. Without intervention, something worse most likely will happen. — Lauren

Visit www.straighttalktnt.org or write P.O. Box 1974 Sebastopol, CA 95473.

Rules of Conduct

  • 1 Use your real name. You must register with your full first and last name before you can comment. (And don’t pretend you’re someone else.)
  • 2 Keep it clean. Please avoid obscene, vulgar, lewd, racist or sexually oriented language.
  • 3 Don’t threaten. Threats of harming another person will not be tolerated.
  • 4 Be truthful. Don't lie about anyone or anything. Don't post unsubstantiated allegations, rumors or gossip that could harm the reputation of a person, company or organization.
  • 5 Be nice. No racism, sexism or any sort of -ism that is degrading to another person.
  • 6 Stay on topic. Make sure your comments are about the story. Don’t insult each other.
  • 7 Tell us if the discussion is getting out of hand. Use the ‘Report’ link on each comment to let us know of abusive posts.
  • 8 Share what you know, and ask about what you don't.
  • 9 Don’t be a troll.
  • 10 Don’t reveal personal information about other commenters. You may reveal your own personal information, but we advise you not to do so.
  • 11 We reserve the right, at our discretion, to monitor, delete or choose not to post any comment. This may include removing or monitoring posts that we believe violate the spirit or letter of these rules, or that we otherwise determine at our discretion needs to be monitored, not posted, or deleted.

Welcome to the discussion.


Popular Stories



Your News

News for the community, by the community.

Mailing List

Subscribe to a mailing list to have daily news sent directly to your inbox.

  • Breaking News

    Would you like to receive breaking news alerts? Sign up now!

  • News Updates

    Would you like to receive our daily news headlines? Sign up now!

  • Sports Updates

    Would you like to receive our daily sports headlines? Sign up now!

Manage Your Lists