Lodinews.com

default avatar
Welcome to the site! Login or Signup below.
|
||
Logout|My Dashboard

Straight Talk for Teens Teenage girl doesn’t know how to help boyfriend who uses meth

Print
Font Size:
Default font size
Larger font size

Posted: Friday, July 20, 2012 7:22 am

Dear Straight Talk: Please help. I am 22 and have been with my boyfriend for two years. He was the greatest person — that is, until some personal problems led him to try meth. He was instantly addicted. He is such a different person today and I often think about leaving him. But then I remember who he used to be and try to have hope. He has tried to quit but keeps relapsing. What can I do for him and how I can keep my hopes up? — Laurie, Auburn

Kira, 20, Moraga: My friend’s boyfriend was the same way. I’m not sure what he was using, but it was bad. It got where my friends and I couldn’t hang out with her. She wasn’t oblivious to his problem, but he was always so high she couldn’t reason with him. All their arguments were about the same thing. She finally got the courage to break up with him which made him finally listen.

Brie, 20, Santa Barbara: From what I saw of a friend’s meth addiction, the only way to get clean is rehab. My friend was 15, and though he wanted to be clean, he had to be forced because he never would go voluntarily. This is typical. He, like others, became a completely different person. He did more than a year in lockdown rehab where he wasn’t allowed to contact anybody. He’s been clean five years now and is absolutely gorgeous. He has turned his life around and helps other people get clean. So, I know your boyfriend can do it, too, but it takes a lot of work.

Colin, 18, Sacramento: Meth isn't pot. It will destroy his life. I doubt an intervention will work, so unless you own a treatment facility and have the physical force to get him there, contact the police. Don’t worry about him being sentenced to jail. That hardly ever happens anymore in California, thanks to our informed voters. Also, don’t tell him you're going to call; he might get angry. Yes, calling the cops is extreme, but meth is extreme. He either gets caught now, or a year from now, when he looks 70 and is doing anything for his next hit. Your call.

Jaclyn, 25, Boise, Idaho: How awful. Most important is to make sure you aren’t enabling his behavior. If he has you to lean on, it can inadvertently make him keep doing what he’s doing. When a bad habit is severe, a person has to get so fed up with themselves that they are forced to make a change — or lose what they love. I would tell him to check into a rehab facility, and then I would check myself out of the relationship until he proves his sobriety. Don't sacrifice your own potential for his bad choices. Hopefully he will overcome his addiction — and if not, there is a better man out there for you. Life is already hard. Choose a partner willing to battle life WITH you, not someone who will BE the battle.

Dear Laurie: Each panelist shares a profound wisdom that I agree with. You don’t say if his parents know of his addiction. Parents can sometime “force” an adult child into rehab using the power of their parental authority. If that route fails, consider an intervention with the help of a treatment center (see www.casacolumbia.org for a listing of centers — or call 1-800-662-HELP if you have no money or insurance). If that fails, I’m totally with Colin. Report his use to police. Don’t waste any more time. He will thank you later for saving his life. For your hopes, if you don’t already pray, now is the time to start. — Lauren

Straight Talk TNT is a non-profit organization. Your $5-10 per month donation helps us immensely. To contact us or donate, visit www.straighttalkTNT.com or write P.O. Box 1974, Sebastopol, CA 95473.

Rules of Conduct

  • 1 Use your real name. You must register with your full first and last name before you can comment. (And don’t pretend you’re someone else.)
  • 2 Keep it clean. Please avoid obscene, vulgar, lewd, racist or sexually oriented language.
  • 3 Don’t threaten. Threats of harming another person will not be tolerated.
  • 4 Be truthful. Don't lie about anyone or anything. Don't post unsubstantiated allegations, rumors or gossip that could harm the reputation of a person, company or organization.
  • 5 Be nice. No racism, sexism or any sort of -ism that is degrading to another person.
  • 6 Stay on topic. Make sure your comments are about the story. Don’t insult each other.
  • 7 Tell us if the discussion is getting out of hand. Use the ‘Report’ link on each comment to let us know of abusive posts.
  • 8 Share what you know, and ask about what you don't.
  • 9 Don’t be a troll.
  • 10 Don’t reveal personal information about other commenters. You may reveal your own personal information, but we advise you not to do so.
  • 11 We reserve the right, at our discretion, to monitor, delete or choose not to post any comment. This may include removing or monitoring posts that we believe violate the spirit or letter of these rules, or that we otherwise determine at our discretion needs to be monitored, not posted, or deleted.

Welcome to the discussion.

City of Lodi Leaf Pickup Schedule

Video

Popular Stories

Poll

Loading…

Your News

News for the community, by the community.

Mailing List

Subscribe to a mailing list to have daily news sent directly to your inbox.

  • Breaking News

    Would you like to receive breaking news alerts? Sign up now!

  • News Updates

    Would you like to receive our daily news headlines? Sign up now!

  • Sports Updates

    Would you like to receive our daily sports headlines? Sign up now!

Manage Your Lists