Lodinews.com

default avatar
Welcome to the site! Login or Signup below.
|
||
Logout|My Dashboard

Straight Talk

Print
Font Size:
Default font size
Larger font size

Posted: Friday, January 16, 2009 10:00 pm

Dear Straight Talk: My friend has huge family problems and is cutting his wrists. The cuts aren't deep, but his arm is infected because his parents lock the medicine cabinet and he isn't cleaning it properly. He showed me and some other girls the infection and told us not to tell our parents. But some girls did tell and now, behind his back, their parents are planning a first-aid package and intervention in his family problems. One parent said he might be suicidal. I'm worried he will be furious that we told and will more likely commit suicide when he realizes he can't trust anyone. Am I way off about this? - Please help, I'm so scared

Farren, 21, Redding: Showing his arms was a huge cry for help. Please tell your parents, please send him first-aid supplies, please inform his school counselor. Maybe he will be mad, but isn't that better than losing him to suicide and always wishing you had told someone? It's hard being responsible for such large issues at a young age, but when it comes to my friends, call me a whistle-blower, I don't care. I sleep at night.

Chris, 20, San Pedro: A girl in high school would cut herself with scissors during class, sprawling her sliced arms over desks for all to see. She didn't ask verbally, but this was her call for help. Fortunately, it was reported to the dean and she received medical attention. Another friend in college developed a drug problem. He lost weight, became droopy and pale, and missed classes. When confronted, he'd say, "I'm cool. I can stop anytime." We knew he'd be angry if we told the college, but something had to be done. He was expelled and sent to rehab, but really, for his own good. Whether it's cutting, excessive drug use, black-out drinking, or any issue regarding health and welfare, it must be confronted before someone is killed, disabled, or catches a sexually transmitted disease. In deciding which adult to tell, assess whether or not that adult will improve or worsen the situation.

Emily, 16, Sacramento: The one time when tattling is the right thing to do is when someone is in danger. Your friends acted correctly.

Mariah; 16; Collinsville, Okla: Lots of friends, in secret, tell my sister and me that they cut their wrists. You need to tell an adult who can help. They will hate you at first, but eventually will thank you.

Katie, 15, Auburn: Since the cuts weren't deep, telling parents was a dumb move because broken trust is hard to handle for someone depressed with unstable moods. A friend broke my trust and I've never forgiven her. You should have cared for his arm privately and got him to a counselor, but kept quiet with parental figures unless the cutting progressed. I finally told my parents and am just now getting help for cutting, but only because I went to ER and they required it. Don't let him go that far.

Graham, 15, Fair Oaks: You made a promise and shouldn't have told.

Elise, 17, Fair Oaks: One of my friends cut and I kept my mouth shut. Finally her dad noticed and sent her to an out-of-state program. Later, she told me she'd tried to kill herself a couple of times before being sent away. I feel guilty for not speaking up - and relieved that nothing happened.

Dear Scared: These last three comments reveal that many teens (like you) don't comprehend the risk of holding dangerous secrets. If someone is cutting themselves - or exhibiting other destructive behavior (drug or alcohol abuse, anorexia, bulimia, recklessness, withdrawal, etc.), tell a teacher or counselor. They know what to do. Silence can be deadly. Don't let someone's suicide or disability haunt you forever because you didn't speak up.

Write to Straight Talk at http://www.straighttalkforteens.com or PO Box 963, Fair Oaks CA 95628.

Rules of Conduct

  • 1 Use your real name. You must register with your full first and last name before you can comment. (And don’t pretend you’re someone else.)
  • 2 Keep it clean. Please avoid obscene, vulgar, lewd, racist or sexually oriented language.
  • 3 Don’t threaten. Threats of harming another person will not be tolerated.
  • 4 Be truthful. Don't lie about anyone or anything. Don't post unsubstantiated allegations, rumors or gossip that could harm the reputation of a person, company or organization.
  • 5 Be nice. No racism, sexism or any sort of -ism that is degrading to another person.
  • 6 Stay on topic. Make sure your comments are about the story. Don’t insult each other.
  • 7 Tell us if the discussion is getting out of hand. Use the ‘Report’ link on each comment to let us know of abusive posts.
  • 8 Share what you know, and ask about what you don't.
  • 9 Don’t be a troll.
  • 10 Don’t reveal personal information about other commenters. You may reveal your own personal information, but we advise you not to do so.
  • 11 We reserve the right, at our discretion, to monitor, delete or choose not to post any comment. This may include removing or monitoring posts that we believe violate the spirit or letter of these rules, or that we otherwise determine at our discretion needs to be monitored, not posted, or deleted.

Welcome to the discussion.

Readers Choice Awards 2014

Video

Popular Stories

Poll

What would you like to see in Lodi's parks?

Lodi's Parks, Recreation and Cultural Services Department is hosting a public workshop at 7 p.m. at Hutchins Street Square to find out how it can better meet the needs of the community. What would you like to see in Lodi's parks?

Total Votes: 210

Loading…

Your News

News for the community, by the community.

Featured Events

Mailing List

Subscribe to a mailing list to have daily news sent directly to your inbox.

  • Breaking News

    Would you like to receive breaking news alerts? Sign up now!

  • News Updates

    Would you like to receive our daily news headlines? Sign up now!

  • Sports Updates

    Would you like to receive our daily sports headlines? Sign up now!

Manage Your Lists