I always try to get as excited as possible about the Academy Awards, that time-honored annual tradition in which Hollywood enrages the nation’s cinephiles by consistently displaying the most remarkable lack of good taste and common decency imaginable.

This year, though, has been more difficult than most. I mean, look at the nominees. Go on, look. Cast your weary gaze upon this list of top-tier honorees, and marvel at the mind-bending ignorance and general contempt for the creative process that went into crafting such a list — a thoroughly insulting mish-mash of boring “arthouse” awards bait and half-baked mainstream drek.