Dear T2T: There is a guy at school who likes me and I like him back.
The problem is my best friend. She also likes him, even though she knows we like each other. I know that he wants to ask me out, but every time he tries, she makes some sort of scene so that it doesn’t happen.
To be fair, we both started liking him at about the same time.
I don’t want our friendship to end over this, but I am getting really mad. Then I start to feel guilty about it, and then I get mad again!
What do you think I should do? Is it wrong for me to let him be my boyfriend when I know it is going to hurt her feelings? I am so confused. — Roller Coaster
Dear Roller Coaster: Twice the advice! Read responses from two different school sites.
Response 1: I can really relate to your situation. I went through what you’re going through many times. There are a lot of other people in the world that are going through the same thing as you, too. It’s bound to happen to everyone, so you shouldn’t feel awkward about this.
A lot of times in relationships there’s another person. Losing your best friend over one guy isn’t worth it. If you are really so worried about a guy that it may end your friendship, you need to be the bigger person and let the guy go. You have other priorities to focus on, but yet you are devoting your time to a guy when you are still in school.
There is no reason to feel mad or guilty, because at the end of the day your best friend will still be there when the guy won’t. Maybe you should think about the future instead of the present, because you most likely won’t be with that same guy for the rest of your life. If you have any doubt in your mind that you’re going to hurt your friend’s feelings, then it’s better to let the guy go, because it’s not worth losing a best friend over.
But if you really like this guy, then maybe you should talk to your best friend about it and inform her about his feelings towards you. You should keep in mind that there are a lot more fish in the sea and it can’t hurt to try liking other guys.
I hope that we helped you with your situation and I hope you the best for the present and the future.
Response 2: If she is your best friend then you need to talk to her and let her know you don’t want to ruin your friendship, but it’s not fair for your friend to make you decide between her and this guy. If she was a real friend she would want you to be happy.
It’s probably going to be weird at first, and it might take time for her to get used to the idea of you and that guy together, but she’ll get over it eventually.
If you really like this guy, don’t let anyone tell you what you cannot do. You want to be happy, and if you feel going out with this guy is going to make you happy, then go for it.
Problem? Email firstname.lastname@example.org.