Dear T2T: I’m a 14-year-old girl and I really want to be in a serious relationship but I have like commitment issues. I can’t seem to stick myself to one guy I like. I’ll say oh yeah he likes me and I do have feelings for him, but I’m afraid to date. I look at it like; why would I set myself up to get hurt?
All relationships end badly especially when your my age. I’ll talk to a guy for a really long time and then he’ll want to date but I’d be scared to. I’m also scared that I’m gonna end up hurting the guy. Recently I was in a serious talking relationship and I got messed over real bad.
Ever since then I’ve been scared to care about someone and scared to love a guy how I love the guy I talked to. I need help overcoming this issue because it affects my happiness and mood and everything. Please and thank you. — Head Tripping
Response No. 1:
It seems like every girl goes through a situation like this sometime through middle school and high school. You may not realize it now, but you’re only 14, and you have a lot of maturing to do, that’s why it may seem so confusing. Just because you’re in middle school now doesn’t mean you have to be in a relationship. It may seem that every girl at your school has a boyfriend, that’s not necessarily a good thing. Any relationship is going to have its problems, it’s not always all lovey dovey.
You might make a mistake sometime, but that’s when you move on and learn from it. Everyone does make mistakes, especially in middle school/high school. But sometimes, either you or the guy, just aren’t ready for a relationship. Love shouldn’t be your main focus right now, your education is WAY more important. Take what we’ve said into consideration, and think about your priorities in life.
If you focus all your stress on boys or finding a relationship it will see like it will never happen. Worrying about it will ultimately affect your mood and happiness. Let things come to you and be patient you’ll know when everything is in place and feels right.
Response No. 2:
You’re at a very life changing age and going through a lot of feelings. I think you should be more social and make new friends and meet new people. Sometimes a change is good. Being in a relationship with someone is very hard. So try to be friends with the person first and get to know that person before you decide to be in a relationship.
That is the best thing to do because you will know the person good and bad. Also if your friends know the person maybe you should listen to their input as well. You are in an age where your feelings are new and all over the place, so you should take your time and get to know people. You should have fun and live a little.
Don’t worry about who you spend the rest of your life with, you will have the rest of your life to decide that. Also you should take time in your relationship and really just take things slowly. I can’t promise you won’t get hurt but these are the best ways to prevent it from happening.
Problem? Email email@example.com.