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I need help to control my anger

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Posted: Tuesday, January 14, 2014 12:00 am

Dear T2T: I’m in secondary school around my exam time, and when I’m in class trying to get on with the work people try and take my things and just annoy me with a joke, but I take it seriously and just flip out.

I’ve been told by people I have a short temper and I’m snappy, which I am, but I don’t like it when people tell me things like that. I can insult myself and call myself fat, but when someone else says it, even as a joke, I flip out and get angry. But I don’t want to tell anyone at school because they don’t do anything about it, because I have said about it before, so nothing is done and it just builds up.

I also get called names like oaf, when I have never done anything to others. I don’t know how to calm myself because I have walked out of some of my classes to get away from things, but have just gotten into trouble from it because the teacher does not see any of it happen.

I have asked for things to be done but nothing ever does... I don’t know what to do about it because I do try and calm myself but it doesn’t work... Please help me and tell me what to do about it! — Fired Up

Response No. 1:

Many people go through what you are going through and I can understand that you tend to flip out and get angry at others. You need to understand that in the real world people are going to like and dislike you, but you just have have to find a way to deal with it. If people are bothering you in class, it would be best if you were to talk to you counselor to be able to calm down.

Walking out of class due to this problem  in my opinion is very unprofessional. If you were at a job and you left due to your short temper, you would most likely be fired. You can’t just give up and walk away from your problems. If something does happen in class, you have to either ignore them or just try to laugh it off and show that it doesn’t effect you.

Some people will call you names but it is usually because they are self conscious about themselves. Just pretend you don’t hear them and keep going on with your task. Don’t let things get to you and just be yourself. Remember that you have a job to get done and don’t let little things get in your way of success. I hope this advice helps and just remember to stay calm.

Response No. 2:

We completely understand what you are going through. It can be really hard to do your own thing when people are in your ear, bothering you. Sometimes when it just keeps happening over and over again, you get tired of it and just want to blow up. But if it is getting in the way of your work, then you need to get some help.

Talk to your teacher about it so he/she understands what is happening in the classroom. However, if you feel like you are being bullied or mistreated, then there is a problem.

The first step is to talk to someone. Find an adult or person you can trust and let them know what is going on. You do not want to take on your feelings alone. You are going to need someone to talk to. You are also not going to want to lose your cool in front of the people or they will think you are weak and just keep on going on with it.

You will need to learn how to be the bigger person, and learn how to just ignore and belittle them. If you can’t take this on by yourself, then definitely talk to someone or even just write it down and give it to a counselor. Even the smallest bit of help can go a long way. We hope you are able to open up to someone and get help with solving your problem. Good luck.

Response No. 3:

I know that teasing and being teased is very prevalent at the high school level.  It’s an awful thing and all of us have experienced at one time or another in our lifetime. Contact an adult if it bothers you that much. I know it’s easy to get angry but telling your classmates in a serious and sincere tone will make them inclined to take you seriously.

Telling them it really hurts your feelings will show also show your seriousness. It’s also smart to find an outlet or stress reliever, think about something else while they are teasing you will clear your mind. You are not alone, keep your head up and talk to others about it.

Problem? Email teentips@hotmail.com.

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