Dear T2T: I am really worried about my best friend. He drinks a lot ... like a lot of other people I know ... .but for some reason, it seems to be changing the person he is. His grades have been dropping and he is becoming pretty irresponsible so that I can’t depend on him like I used to be able to. We used to be able to go out and hang without having to drink, but now he isn’t interested in that at all. I don’t want to give up our friendship, but I can’t let it pull me down either. I’m not sure what to do. — More to life
Response No. 1:
In life, we have to make choices. We can only control our choices though. We can’t control the choices or thoughts of our friends no matter how close we are or how much we love and care about them. Your friend has made his choice to drink and along with that choice, he has decided to put drinking above school and friends. My advice to you is to talk to him before completely shutting him out of your life. When I was a junior in high school, I had a close friend who began to get into the party atmosphere and I had to make the choice in either following in his path or splitting off and going on my own. Although we are not as close, I still consider him my friend but I don’t have to worry so much about his problems. By making this choice you’re choosing the right path. It’s hard not to fall into the scene of what others are doing but by choosing to rise above the influence, it can only better you as a person. Your friend has made his choice and right now, it most likely change. Be there and support him when he needs it but your happiness is what matters most and if he is interfering with that, you should reconsider being such close friends. Its hard to lose a friend that means the world to you but you should be surrounded by people who will motivate you to be better and not bring you down. I personally commend you for confiding in Teen2Teen and hope we have helped your situation.
Response No. 2:
When I was little, my dad used to have a drinking problem. He would come home all grumpy and mad. It changed him a lot, so I had to have a talk with him, a serious talk. I told him that I didn’t like him coming home mad because no one liked it. I know this sounds bad, but I told him when he came home so he can see that his personality totally changes. After I talked to him, he got a lot better. It’s like reality struck him and he got his act together. From personal experience, I know how it feels to be the type of person that goes out and party and drink and all that. You have so much fun and you always want to come back, until someone talks to you. One of my good friends came to my house one day and wanted to go for a walk. He explained to me that I haven’t been the same and he misses the old me. At that moment, I realized that what I was doing is wrong, and that it had to stop. Sometimes all you need is a good heart felt talk to straighten someone out.
Response No. 3:
We understand that you have the best interest for your best friend and you’re worried about his health. It’s best to confront him about the problem. The first step is to have him realize he has a problem. Usually, teenagers, like us, are hardheaded and don’t want to face the issue. When you approach him, attempt not to sound like a parent but as the caring friend that you are. Also, help him start stepping away from a drinking environment. Invite him to do such activities like: family parties, club events, school sports, shopping, bike riding, bowling, laser tagging, etc. Since you value your friendship and he means a lot to you we don’t recommend to completely leaving him. He doesn’t recognize it but right now is when he needs you the most. It’s up to you to be there for him or not.
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