Dear T2T: I am a 14-year-old girl. I have been having a lot of issues lately. My mother passed away from cancer four years ago. I really miss her and when she passed it didn’t seem real for about two years. I wasn’t very depressed or anything until now.
I am now realizing how hard it is to live without a mom and I now need her more than ever. I feel like I now have to live on my own and figure out everything a mother teaches her daughter. I always think that I won’t know how to get through life.
Do you have any advice about what I should do? How should I deal with all of this? — Missing my Mommy
Dear Missing my Mommy: Two separate groups of students on different campuses are now providing you with their perspectives. They receive the same letters and are asked to provide what the best advice they have to offer.
Response 1: I am really sorry for your loss. It must have been hard for you these past four years without a mother. It is normal to have a late reaction to your loss, because some things in life just don’t seem real until they actually happen.
You may not believe this now, but time heals all wounds. Try not to waste your youth on being sad and upset about you loss. Instead, think about all the good times you had with you mother and cherish them for the rest of your life.
I’m sure your mother loves you very much and wouldn’t want you to be sad or upset. She would want you to be happy and do great things in your life.
I know it is really hard to live the rest of your life without your mom, but think about it: She was probably in a lot of pain going through what she did, and now she is in a better place where she is no longer in pain and can watch over you as you grow. She may not be by your side, but she will always be in your heart and watching over you all of the time.
Also remember that you are not alone. Whenever you feel sad, upset or alone, you should try opening up to someone who you know will understand what you are going through. I’m sure they will be glad to help and support you.
I hope this message gets through to you and that our advice will help you in the future. Take care, and remember, your mom loves you and is very proud of you.
Response 2: We understand where your depression is coming from and, in addition, you’re entering the teenage years which is challenging for anyone.
If you have any relatives or family friends that you are close to or feel comfortable talking to that would be a great help to yourself and your future. You can volunteer at an animal shelter and provide love to all the animals in need. Attempt surrounding yourself with a positive environment and positive individuals you can express yourself through, such as painting, sculpting, drawing, dancing, singing, etc. You can also join clubs at school. Take interest in some sports.
Also, talking to your school counselor/psychiatrist would be a great help for you mentally and emotionally. School and city parks and recreation programs offer sports in which you can let your emotions out.
Just remember, the glass is always half full!
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