Dear T2T: I’m a 15 year old girl and I have no friends. I mean, sure, I talk to people, but I honestly have no friends that I know I could call up and they’d have time to talk to me and help me with problems.
I used to have so many friends. I was kind of “popular,” some might say. Then I started trying to meet new people and become more diverse with my friends, and in the process of doing that, I started to get bullied. All the kids I was friends with stopped talking to me. Even the people I reached out to stopped talking to me. It got so bad I had to eat lunch alone in the bathroom at school for months!
Now my parents want me to go out more and “be a teenager.” I’ve tried explaining that no one wants anything to do with me. I’ve tried so many times to make friends and I just feel shot down by everyone. Help? — Lonely
Response 1: I understand how you must feel. Feeling like you can’t talk to anyone can suck. Meeting new people takes a lot courage, and I commend you for that, but just because you have been shot down sometimes doesn’t mean you should stop trying.
Sometimes when it comes to making friends its more about finding stuff in common than just having a conversation, because there has to be an effort from both sides. A good way to meet new people is to join clubs in school and try to talk more in class.
Parents don’t always understand that things have changed, but they do still give good advice.
You can always try making plans with your old friends to go out sometime. Even though you say they don’t talk to you anymore, you could sit down and explain to them about how much you miss hanging out with them.
If that doesn’t work you can always try meeting new people who perhaps you thought you might never talk to. People might surprise you.
Also, if you feel like you are being bullied, then you should talk to someone about that. It is not OK for you to be bullied at school. School is supposed to be a safe place for you and a place where you can be who you are.
Don’t change just to make friends, and always stay true to who you are. You will find friends who will have time to talk to you and help you with your problems. I wish you the best.
Response 2: Joining clubs, sports and doing any type of activities after school are a great way to become more social. Maybe you should try to participate more in class activities as well. When you have positive thoughts, it will lead to a positive outcome of things.
It is a good thing that you wanted to explore different groups of people. You’re still young and in high school, so it’s OK if you haven’t found your group of friends yet.
Make sure you focus on having the mindset of making true/positive friends instead of making as many friends as possible. Just be yourself and things will work out!
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