default avatar
Welcome to the site! Login or Signup below.
Logout|My Dashboard

Advice needed to help friend who was date raped

Font Size:
Default font size
Larger font size

Posted: Tuesday, June 18, 2013 12:00 am

Dear T2T: This is pretty serious stuff. My friend was totally date raped and I don’t know how to help her. She confided in me and I promised not to tell anyone and I haven’t, but I know she really needs more help than I can give her. I don’t want to rat her out, but I am so worried about her. I am torn in half about it. One side of me wants to keep the promise I made her but the other side of me wants to tell someone who can really help her. What would you do? — Sucky Situation

Response No. 1:

I apologize about your friend’s situation. We understand that this is a tough issue for you and your friend. Things like this are not very easy to deal with. Whatever you do, make sure you are doing the right thing. You should talk to your friend about talking to somebody for help. Tell her that it is important to let someone know for her health and safety. She should not keep things like this to herself because it’s a very serious matter. She needs to know that there are a lot of possibilities that can put her into danger, such as HIV, STDs, and pregnancy. Lead her into feeling open with someone that she is close to and that she can confide in. This is a very serious situation and she needs to let someone know. This way, you are not losing her trust but you are doing what is best for her. If you were to tell someone else after she told you not to tell anyone, she would not be able to trust you as a friend anymore. Rape is a serious problem in society and it is a very big deal. This happens too often with teenagers these days and it needs to stop. Take the little step to make a difference and break the silence. We hope you take our advice. Sit down and talk to your friend about the whole situation. We hope everything we said was taken in to consideration and we wish you and your friend the best.

Response No. 2:

Our best advice is sitting with your friend and getting her to seriously think about talking to a counselor or adult. If she does or doesn’t plan on taking your advice, you still need to let someone know. Convince her that letting someone know would be best, relieving stress from both of you. Her mental health is more important than a promise. Even if you feel like you are “ratting her out,” it will be worth it in the long run. Try to make her feel comfortable about this touchy subject. She is not alone. This is a serious matter that you must take into your own hands.

Problem? Email teentips@hotmail.com.

Rules of Conduct

  • 1 Use your real name. You must register with your full first and last name before you can comment. (And don’t pretend you’re someone else.)
  • 2 Keep it clean. Please avoid obscene, vulgar, lewd, racist or sexually oriented language.
  • 3 Don’t threaten. Threats of harming another person will not be tolerated.
  • 4 Be truthful. Don't lie about anyone or anything. Don't post unsubstantiated allegations, rumors or gossip that could harm the reputation of a person, company or organization.
  • 5 Be nice. No racism, sexism or any sort of -ism that is degrading to another person.
  • 6 Stay on topic. Make sure your comments are about the story. Don’t insult each other.
  • 7 Tell us if the discussion is getting out of hand. Use the ‘Report’ link on each comment to let us know of abusive posts.
  • 8 Share what you know, and ask about what you don't.
  • 9 Don’t be a troll.
  • 10 Don’t reveal personal information about other commenters. You may reveal your own personal information, but we advise you not to do so.
  • 11 We reserve the right, at our discretion, to monitor, delete or choose not to post any comment. This may include removing or monitoring posts that we believe violate the spirit or letter of these rules, or that we otherwise determine at our discretion needs to be monitored, not posted, or deleted.

Welcome to the discussion.

Contact Information

Stephanie Hiatt

Learning Link Needs You!

We rely on the input of the community. If you are a teen or interested in teen issues, you can help us with the following regular features on Lodinews.com and in the Lodi News-Sentinel. Email Stephanie Hiatt at link@lodinews.com or call 209-369-2761.

KEWL Kids: Kids doing exceptional and worthwhile things in and around Lodi. Know a student who is making Lodi a better or more interesting place to be? Let us know!

Parents 2 Teens: An opportunity for parents to get a fresh perspective from our Teens 2 Teens advisers. Email your questions and see what responsible teenagers have to say about your problem or situation.

School Scoop: Are you a parent or teacher who has something wonderful or unique going on at your child’s school? Write about it and let Lodi know about your great school.

Reading News

Reading news can encourage positive attitudes toward reading, improving English skills, and providing young people an opportunity to be better informed, proactive citizens in your community.




Your News

News for the community, by the community.

Mailing List

Subscribe to a mailing list to have daily news sent directly to your inbox.

  • Breaking News

    Would you like to receive breaking news alerts? Sign up now!

  • News Updates

    Would you like to receive our daily news headlines? Sign up now!

  • Sports Updates

    Would you like to receive our daily sports headlines? Sign up now!

Manage Your Lists