Dear T2T: I have been dating this guy that I’m really into for about 6 months. He is a great guy most of the time but sometimes he gets really intense when we have arguments and it’s a little scary. He has never totally hit me but he yells really loud and he has grabbed my shoulders. I haven’t had many relationships so maybe I am overreacting, but is this normal? — Too Intense
Response No. 1
We understand your situation. And hopefully our advice to you will benefit you in making the right decision. If only after six months your boyfriend is showing some major aggression towards you, then that’s definitely a red flag. What you should try to do is either talk to him about how angry and aggressive he gets, and if he still continues to be aggressive towards you or if it gets worse, then that should tell you to just break it off. I know it may be hard to, especially if you really care about him. But honestly, signs of aggression are extremely bad in a relationship, because of how escalated they can become in violence. You don’t want to have him get worse with the way he treats you by actually hitting you, or name calling. Just emotional and physical problems for yourself can be jump started by an abusive relationship. Its not something that you should get into, but if this continues and he does not change then you may just be flushing your whole life down the toilet for just one guy. And always keep in mind that if things don’t work out between you and him, you can always find a guy that will treat you like a princess. No guy should ever lay his hands on you, or even raise his voice to a point where you are actually a little afraid of him. Don’t let him take over your life. He may be an important person in your life right now, but you will never be able to move on to the future if you’re living in his shadow. Thank you for coming to us with your concern, and we hope the best for you, and hopefully your boyfriend will change so that you two may continue your relationship.
Response No. 2
Whether it is your first, second, or third relationship it truthfully doesn’t matter. No guy should ever lay there hands on a girl. It doesn’t matter what the situation is, that is too dangerous. Whether they just put their hands on your should or actually hit you, it is unacceptable. If you really like him then you should consider sitting down and talking it out . If it were to happen again then you should maybe think about ending that relationship with him. Talking to people as in a relative or close friend would help a lot because they can give you more advice than we can in that situation considering we don’t know him. Everyone is different and you never know how they will really react. You should not think that you are overreacting because this is really serious issue. One out of every three teen relationships is abusive, and that could possibly happen to you. Verbal abuse and physical abuse is not a healthy relationship. While your relationship is still young and is not at the physical abuse level you should consider getting out of the relationship because it would be harder trying to get out of an abusive relationship when you have been with him a long time. I hope you take our advice seriously and talk to your close family or friend.
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