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Teens 2 Teens

Help! I’m tired of being the ‘fat friend’ and the cruel mockery is feeding my depression

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Posted: Monday, April 2, 2012 12:00 am

Dear T2T: I’m 17 years old and a senior in high school. I’m a size 20-22 and, of course, all my friends are skinny and beautiful.

For as long as I can remember, I have had weight problems. I blame it on genetics, failed diets, or a busy schedule that leaves me zero time to work out, but mostly myself. I transferred schools before my junior year because of severe depression and bullying from my own best friends that I started cutting myself. I can’t go shopping for clothes or a homecoming/prom dress with my friends because, guaranteed, the store does not carry my size.

I love to go out and party on the weekends, but the looks I get when people see me walk in with my gorgeous group of friends makes me not even want to attend. When it’s not a party with people I know personally, there is always the occasional “why did they let fat chicks in” comment because, hey, they’ll never see me again.

I get stuck holding cameras or purses in the corner of the house as I pathetically pretend to text/call someone because my friends are doing what most girls do — sitting on a guy’s lap, flirting or somewhere hooking up with a guy.

And of course, it’s not that easy for me. No one wants to hook up with a fat girl. Most guys won’t take the time to even look at me, let alone talk to me. And what high schooler wants to kiss someone because they like their personality or their sense of humor?

If you exclude stage kisses in musicals, I’ve never hooked up with a guy. And that fact is absolutely mortifying.

I hate feeling invisible. I hate knowing that I’m getting made fun of because of how I look. I hate spending hours getting ready with my friends knowing that it won’t matter if I look like Angelina Jolie, because I’m fat and I’m too disgusting for anyone to want to touch or even look at. I hate being so self-conscious about everything I do. I hate that I’m too weak to keep up with a diet, which could solve so many of my problems. I hate that I want to be anorexic, but I can’t because I love food so much. I hate the way I look. I hate that people hate fat people. I hate being the fat friend.

Please help. I just need some perspective on my situation.

Dear Please Help: Here at Teens2Teens we really are sympathetic for you and some of us can really relate.

We all know that society makes it out to be that skinny is beautiful, but the truth is, not everyone believes that. Anyone that makes fun of you for being fat is very self-conscious with their own self and need to make fun of someone else to make themselves feel better.

Honestly, if your so-called “friends” are making fun of your weight and ditching you at social events, then they don’t really seem like friends at all. You should surround yourself with people who will always be there for you and who will support you.

You can get through life with the right people by your side, not by hooking up with a guy at a party.

Trust us, anorexia is not the answer to your weight troubles. Anorexia can make you sick, and often the body will compensate for no food at all with bloating, making you appear to not lose weight at all. There are some of us who have gone that route in life and they regret it, because anorexia is a disease.

We think that if you want to diet, you should only do so to make yourself healthier, not to lose weight. You can be healthy if you eat the right food and if you exercise.

Believe us when we say we know what a busy schedule looks like! We all have things to do whether its sports, play rehearsals, work or studying for AP classes. We often forget to make time to exercise, but it can as easy as doing 8-minute abs before school or take a walk around your neighborhood. If you want to exercise, but you’re too lazy to exercise, you can do something like that every day.

Either way, we just want you to know that beauty is skin deep. If you are beautiful on the inside, then trust that the right people will see the beauty on the inside, too.

If you ever need anyone to talk to, just make a special request for one of our phone numbers or emails and we can help you to the best of our abilities. We just want to make sure that you don’t feel like you have to harm yourself again. There is always someone to talk to.

We hope we could help in any way. — Your friends at Teens2Teens

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Stephanie Hiatt

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