Dear T2T: I have been talking to a guy for months and he hasn’t asked me out. We are totally flirty and I know that he likes me, but I am not sure what the hang up is. I’m getting a little impatient, but I do really like him. How should I deal with this? I don’t want to push him away because we do have a good thing going. — Ask Already
Response No. 1:
First, don’t jump to conclusions about the situation. Maybe he isn’t looking for a relationship. He may like you, but not in that type of way. Many guys I know flirt and even like the girl but aren’t up for a commitment. Prepare yourself for the worst. My advice to you is ask him. If you are so sure he likes you, you have nothing too be afraid of. You said you were feeling impatient. Why is it up to him to make the first move? That boy could be feeling the same way you are but is just as afraid to say something. If you do end up talking to him about your feelings and you are afraid you will push him away go into everything slowly. Let him know how you feel about everything and inform him you don’t want to scare him away. For example, a really good friend of mine really likes a boy and she knows he likes her back. The only problem is, he’s afraid of saying anything. So, eventually she got the guts and told him she wanted a relationship and that she really likes him and they are dating now. I don’t think it is entirely up to the guy to make the decision. I encourage you to say something to him and if it doesn’t work out, there are other boys out there. Don’t stress over just one guy. Overall, it’s not a race. To have an effective relationship things should just eventually fall into place on it’s own.
Response No. 2:
Since you don’t want to step on any toes, we recommend that you just drop little hints here and there. For example, when you see a couple in public, you could say something like "that could be us." Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone with this, otherwise you’ll never get what you want. If you’re sure enough about his feelings for you, you could ask him! There’s nothing wrong with it, and it shows you have confidence in yourself. The double standards for gender-related things also apply to things like this. If you truly believe in the relationship, then go for it and tell him exactly how you feel. He’ll never know exactly what your emotions are if you don’t let him know. Life is about taking risks, you GO GIRL!
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