Dear T2T: My so-called “friend“ is always correcting or insulting me. I am honestly not sure if she even notices how annoying it can be. Even when I do my best, she finds something to criticize. She is also very competitive, and I don’t want to be competitive. Should I tell her (politely) that she is hurting my feelings? — “annoyed friend”
Response No. 1:
Maybe you should stop for a moment and think if she’s actually your friend. A friend wouldn’t insult or criticize you when you are trying your best. If you find it annoying you should tell her politely that you don’t like being competed with her on a daily basis and tell her that she should stop critiquing you. However, a friend should support you and be honest with you no matter what and maybe it’s her way of telling you the truth. It might be blunt in your eyes, but it might just be her trying to encourage you in her eyes. You should exactly tell her everything that’s on your mind, as it might help her understand your feelings of the whole ordeal and not cause more strain on your guy’s relationship. Don’t be too much of a push-over as it will continuously cause major drifts later on. If you don’t want to compete with your friend ask her not to make this into a competition. Remember that your friendship is not a competition, but about honesty and trust. I wish you the best of luck with you and your friend. Hopefully, you make the right decisions.
Response No. 2:
Unfortunately, teens today like to bash one another. They think it is funny or cool. Your friends probably doesn’t even realize that it is wrong and hurts your feelings. You should politely and privately pull your friend aside and very nicely tell her it hurts your feelings, that you’re not trying to compete with her, and that you just want to be her friend. Don’t start an argument. Next time she does it mark the behavior by saying, “Wow, when you say that it really hurts.” If she doesn’t apologize or try to change, maybe she really doesn’t care about your friendship. On the other side of this, make sure you don’t bash her or hurt her feelings so she doesn’t think your being a hypothetic.
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