Dear T2T: My parents don’t like my friends! They are constantly bugging me when they’re around, and telling me that they’re bad influences. They’ve even told me that I’m no longer to hang out with them anymore! They’re my best friends, and are not weird, bad, or “teenage punks.” How can I make my parents understand that I have a right to hang around anyone I want to, and make them understand that my friends are not bad influences? — Oil and Water
Response No. 1:
Conflicts between you and your parents aren’t the best thing. Especially when it is all caused because of your personal life. Your parents only want to keep you safe and not get influenced in a negative way. If your parents don’t like your friends they have to have a reason, parents don’t usually just not like a kid just because. It could be the way your friends dress or act or talk. I think the first thing you should do for this problem is sit down and have a talk to your parents about your friends and why they may or may not like your friends. Have them explain to you why they don’t like them before you jump to accuse them. They most likely have a valid reason for their dislike. Another thing you can do is ask your parents for permission to have them over for dinner or something along those lines so that they can actually get to know them better. If after that they still don’t like them then maybe you should get new friends. Because otherwise if you keep the same friends that they don’t like you may lose your parents trust and besides, you probably wont get to see them anyway. Parents do know best.
Response No. 2:
The first thing you have to do is make your parents see the good qualities in your friends. Your parents have a negative view of your friends so it’s going to be hard to change their mind set. However, it is possible and you can do those by emphasizing all of their positive characteristics. Also, you can have your friends parents talk to your parents so that way they can get a feel for each other’s family values. If neither of those ideas work, then you can also try not hanging out with your friends in front of your parents as much. It’s not going to be an instant change of your parent’s mindset. It’s going to take time to convince them and you have to be patient throughout the whole process. Always be willing to expand your horizon though, and be willing to make new friends if these friends aren’t the best influence on you.
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