Dear T2T: I have a really difficult time talking to my parents about everything. It’s like every discussion turns into an argument, even when we actually agree on something it all of a sudden turns bad. It’s to the point where I have just stopped talking to them. I know this isn’t a good place for us to be, but it just seems easier than constant conflict. What do you think? — Conflicted
Response No. 1:
We understand that it is very hard to communicate with your parents as a teenager. Everyone faces this difficult time in life. Sometimes your parents will give you a difficult time because they are trying to prepare you for the real world. Not everything will be easy, and this is just one small bump in the road to come. Sometimes parents do not understand what you are trying to communicate. Believe it or not, what you say probably isn’t the same thing your parents hear come out of your mouth. Saying “I’m hanging out with my friends on Friday night” can easily translate to “I’m going to get drunk and take drugs with my friends at a party on Friday night.” Your parents just want to protect you, and would never want anything or anyone to hurt you. Since you say that every discussion with you guys turn into an argument, maybe you could try talking to them in a different environment. Just sit down with them either at the dinner table, in the living room in front of the television, or even in the car. This way, you will easily be able to get your opinions across, and hopefully things won’t turn into an argument. You shouldn’t just stop talking to your parents because you have a hard time communicating with each other. Your parents are ultimately your biggest support system, so you should always try to keep that bond. I assure you that things between you and your parents will get tough, especially during your teen years, but you guys can’t give up on each other. Don’t be mad at your parents because they are just trying to help you. You will be more appreciative of everything they say and do for you later on in life. We wish you and your parents the best.
Response No. 2:
Understand that this is common for all parents and teenagers to argue. Due to the fact that you have experience with arguments, use that knowledge to decide what can be brought up to your parents and what can’t be. Another thing you can do is get different perspectives by putting yourself in their shoes and having patience. Then think to yourself, who is right for any given argument? With that said, it takes maturity to admit if you’re truly wrong. However if you know for a fact that you are right, then realize that parents think that they are always right and you have to accept that. I encourage you to keep talking to your parents and be understanding.
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