Dear T2T: I just started dating a guy and he is my first “real” boyfriend. My problem is that I don’t seem to be a very big priority to him. I know he is busy and stuff, but he chooses to hang out with his friends a lot more than me. We text and stuff, but I would like to have more face to face time with him. I don’t want to seem like a high maintenance complainer, but it just seems like if he is my boyfriend that he would try to see me more. Am I unreasonable or is this just kind of normal? — Help
Response No. 1:
If he is your first “real” boyfriend you may be scared to mess it up by asking more from him but chances are he needs that push or needs to know how you feel. Guys are different and they won’t understand the problem or what you want unless you tell them exactly how you feel. They can’t read your mind and most of the time they can’t read the signs. All you have to do is tell him how you feel. Depending on how he reacts to this will give you your answer. If he changes his actions and starts seeing you more then you will know feel like more of a priority. If he stay in his ways then you will know what you mean to him. The thing is you shouldn’t ever set your standards low. If you make him one of your priorities, he should make you one of his. In a relationship it goes both ways no matter if he’s your first “real” boyfriend or not. It’s not being high maintenance to want to see your boyfriend. If you’re in a relationship with him it’s because you want to see him and he should want to see you. So, the first step you should take is talking to him and letting know exactly how you feel. If it doesn’t change then you’ll know to set your standards higher and find a guy who does make you a priority. Best of luck.
Response No. 2:
I do not think this situation is unreasonable or that you are being high maintenance. I think that it is completely normal to feel like you want to spend more time with him. He is a guy and he will want to hang out with his friends but since you guys are in a relationship I feel like he should be hanging out with you just as much as he hangs out with his friends. Sometimes texting him and only talking with him through the phone just is not enough. You should really sit down and talk to him about the situation. Explain to him that you really do want to start spending more time with him. If he takes this relationship just as serious as you then he will probably listen and follow through to what you have to say to him. You also do not want to be “clingy” you should always let him have his space and have fun with his friends. I think everything will work out perfectly fine at the end.
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