Make friends in your new neighborhood

After you’ve settled into your new home, stocked the cabinets, hooked up the cable, and hung that last painting, you find yourself at a loss for a friend who can enjoy it all with you. Don’t get mopey. It’s up to you to take some initiative and explore your neighborhood to make new friends.

First, you have to proactively approach people. It can be awkward not knowing a soul in your new area, but think of this new community as your socializing pool. People who live in your building or on your street are potential new friends. Start with friendly banter — comment on a neighbor’s yard at the mailbox, or chat with a building mate during a ride on the elevator. Then, suggest that you continue the conversation over coffee or invite the person over for a cold beverage.

Liz Bryant, a senior vice president and division manager of GMAC Mortgage, says a good place to meet your neighbors is through community events such as garage sales or block parties. “You can always walk over and introduce yourself,” she writes in her monthly column. She also says meeting neighbors is good for security reasons. “They can keep an eye on your home when you’re away.”

Besides meeting and greeting people on the street, you can “invent” a reason for a conversation. Call it the “cup of sugar” technique. Just go up to your neighbor’s door and ask to borrow a cup of sugar or an egg. Maybe you need a screwdriver to hang up your new window blinds. Whatever the reason, seize the opportunity to chat with your neighbor and, perhaps, even invite him or her to sample the cake you’ve made with their sugar. If you borrow something that needs to be returned, like a hammer, return it in a timely fashion. Otherwise, you might lose a potential friend instead of making one!

Another method of meeting people in your neighborhood is through volunteer work. Some organizations to look into are Habitat for Humanity, which helps build homes and shelter for the needy; United Way, a national group that concentrates on health and human services; City Year, a service organization aimed at helping young people change the world, and Literacy Volunteer, a group that’s dedicated to helping people learn how to read. These activities will allow you to meet people with similar interests and values while simultaneously doing a good deed. Check your new phone book for listings of similar organizations in your area.

If you’re religious, the perfect place to meet new people with similar moral values is at a local house of worship. Furthermore, you can count on these places to host many activities and gatherings that are social or altruistic.

Another great way to become part of a new crowd is to join a literary group. Think about it: You get to read books or work on your “novel” as you meet people with similar literary interests. The conversation topic is already in place so you automatically will have something in common to discuss. To find such a group in your area, check the bulletin board at your local library or book store, scan a local weekly guide’s events calendar, or check out the local university’s schedule of events.

You can also try the “coffee shop” method. Bring a book, plant yourself on a couch, and spend a couple of hours a week relaxing with other patrons. You’ll start to recognize the regulars and build your way up to the “I know you” nod and smile. Eventually, you’ll strike up some small talk. Alternatively, you could converse with the coffee servers. If, however, you find that the coffeehouse crowd just isn’t your cup of java, then try a local watering hole, the laundromat, the grocery store bistro, a dog-walking park, or the local gym.

The best way to make a new friend is to simply say hi. When you see a neighbor, smile and offer a warm greeting. Cordialness can go a long way.

Index of advertisers