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Time to get my snark on . . .

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Posted: Friday, November 19, 2010 3:08 pm

Since I've been playing nice for a couple of weeks, it's time to get my rant on. It's been a rough week and I gotta vent.

The topic today is "Stupid Responses"

Let's jump right in, shall we?

1. When someone says "How's it going?" they typically are asking how your day is treating you, maybe how your project is moving along . . . something of that nature. Stupid response: "It's going." - WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? It means you're too ambivalent about your own life to formulate a real answer. This answer is the equivalent of a non-answer in that the person isn't invested at all in how their day is going. Might as just make some grunting noises or say nothing. It's less annoying.

2. When someone says "How are you?" They're usually inquiring about your state of mind, your health, your basic well-being. One would assume. Some people respond to this question with "Well, I'm here." - I DIDN'T ASK YOUR LOCATION YOU MORON!! Have the courtesy to respond to a question regarding your well-being with an appropriate answer - even if it's not a positive response - make the effort. If you feel lousy, be honest. Maybe you'll get a pass on a tough assignment or at least the offer of something to make you feel better.

And the flip side if this coin: If you ask someone how they're doing, make eye contact and stop moving long enough to get a response. It is, after all, a question. Wait for an answer. Show interest. Otherwise don't ask, because you really don't care how they're doing.

3. When did the gracious act of saying "Thank You" become so insignificant that the common response has ceased to be "You're Welcome?" More often than not, you'll hear "No Problem," or "De Nada," or . . . one of my favorite non sequiturs: "No worries." If you did someone a favor and they feel grateful enough to thank you, take the high road and tell them they're welcome. You were glad to do them a favor and would gladly do it again. By saying "No problem," you've essentially told them that if it were a problem, you wouldn't have done the favor or bought the gift, or whatever. That's why people thank other people for whatever the thing is: It's something you did for them.

Now, if you don't intend to ever do another favor for this person, by all means, don't say "You're Welcome." That would be a lie and you would be a hypocrite. In this case, when they say "Thank You," you can reply with "Yeah, well, that'll never happen again, so don't bother asking!"

And they probably won't.