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The ugly side of nature

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Posted: Thursday, October 27, 2011 7:28 pm

"With wings spun of silver and hearts of gold, these tiny creatures our hearts behold. With angelic features and colors so bright, make even the heaviest heart seem light. The magical way they flit through the sky, they appear, then vanish in the blink of an eye. They're sending a message for us to retrieve: Anything's possible for those who believe!" - Christopher Griffiths

Christopher is talking about hummingbirds here and I only have one thing to say...bulls**t!

When Jim and I moved to this house we noticed a few hummingbirds hanging out in the backyard. As we added a small lawn, perennial and floral plants the hummingbirds increased.  And indeed, they did flit which I thought was "angelic and bright". Eventually, we got a feeder. Not an expensive blown glass one, but the refillable standard plastic bottle with four ports and comes filled with red food. As soon as we hung it up our little clutch of birds came 'round. And talk about an attitude. These little birds have huge egos and territorial issues. They are beyond aggressive. I think its the sugar and thank God they don't have a gang mentality.

I don't know why any feeder has more than one port. At no time is more than one bird going to be at the feeder. They simply do not share. Period. Immediately we noticed there was a bully. It wasn't the largest or more colorful of the group, but he (?) left no doubt he was the Hummer-In-Charge. He would feed and then fly to a nearby branch, only to sit, wait and chase off any other birds who might want a sip. Jim and I have been buzzed, harassed and threatened by pointy beaks and super-speedy flapping wings when we are in the yard. The only reason I continue to make the food and refill the container is that I figure these little guys are smart. Possibly smart enough to devise a plan to take us out.

I can see it now.  We go missing and the kids come to check up only to find us slumped over our herb garden with pin-sized holes all over our bodies. Mr. Griffiths is right. They are sending us a message and I do believe its possible...they could kill us!

So, I have to fill the feeder tomorrow. I'm glad I kept my motorcycle helmet and jacket. But, this time? They're getting Scotch.