I was at a wedding a week ago for one of my best friend’s daughter. Their new son-in-law is active duty Air Force stationed in Georgia and the young couple had decided they wanted to be married before he was deployed toward the end of February.
When it was time for the toasts to the newlyweds, her father began his toast with a joke (he always has a joke ready), and then reflected on his daughter sharing funny antidotes about her. He told everyone about how the invitations for the wedding had gone out 5 days after they had gotten the call to let them know their daughter was engaged! Then explaining that they wanted to be married before the groom was sent on his 2nd deployment to the “Sand Box” as the military refers to Iraq or Afghanistan. He then asked that everyone keep his new son-in-law and all those serving in the military in their prayers and support them regardless of their personal opinion of the war. It was then the wedding guests started clapping, the clapping swelled and suddenly we were all on our feet! We were showing our united support for this young man, new to our friend’s family, and for all those serving in the military.
It was the most moving experience for me and brought tears to my eyes to see this spontaneous emotional support for the military. I have been told that Lodi has always been supportive of the military. Being part of a moment like that has shown me that while everyone may not agree about the war and where our soldiers are, as a community we do support the soldiers themselves and I can only hope that this will continue.
There are many in the military that don’t get the recognition that they should, mostly because their jobs are meant to done without anyone knowing. In the past week, someone shared with me an article about the Navy SEALs, SEALs are a part of this unknown world of the military.
This article describes how the author was at a Naval Special Warfare Foundation dinner (The NSWF supports naval commandoes with scholarships and assistance for families of Navy Seals killed or wounded in combat or training.) and the video that was shown using pieces President Bush’s speeches as the narration to the video and how it moved him. He exchanged information with the SEALs that had prepared the video. The author contacted the SEAL before he was deployed again and asked him for a copy to show the president, he agreed and had one request in return. He wanted the family of the SEALs in his unit to be able to see the White House at Christmas. To read the rest of the article click on the following link http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123085828475347775.html
I wanted to share this article with everyone because it is important for as many people as possible to understand what these individuals are willing to sacrifice for us, our freedom, and our country. I hope it moves you as much as it did me.
Questions, comments, or blog ideas please email me at lisa@lodinews.com.
Well, another year has past and I thought I would share what I have learned this past year about being a military family.
1. You can survive your child going to boot camp and not talking to them for 8 weeks.
2. Your child does know how to write letters, and you also remember how to write a letter and actually enjoy it.
3. The military doesn’t care what you think as a parent, what your travel plans are, what works best for you and your family.
4. Your child can take care of themselves, learn to iron, make their bed, keep their room clean, and appreciate all that has been done for them for the past 18 or so years.
5. How handsome or beautiful your child looks in uniform!
6. That some times a difficult transition can bring great rewards ~ my son left for boot camp and I have found some incredible lifelong friends at Navy for Moms.
7. My son has found where he belongs, is driven to achieve his goal in a way that I have never seen before and I am so happy for him.
8. I am not in control of anything when it comes to my son anymore, the Navy is…..and they just don’t seem to care what I think.
9. Letting go is hard, but worth it.
10. I am proud of my son and his service to our country.
Happy New Year to everyone who has been a part of getting this blog up and running participated in the conversations, and those who take time out of their day to read it. I appreciate each and every one of you.
Lisa
He’s home! My son got home yesterday for Christmas and I am just thrilled to have him home this year. I know that next year we may not be so lucky and we will cherish our time with him this year.
Last week He was re-assigned to a base in California and we are both thrilled that he is no longer in the Mid-West and so far away. I think he is just thrilled to be near the ocean again. He will be starting his next “school” in the New Year; this next “school” will be difficult and very intense. We are all very proud of him and all he has accomplished this past year.
I have learned about an easy way to show support for our military during this Holiday season: Lighting a blue candle in your home, place of work, or even place of worship to remember those in any branch of the military that aren’t able to be home this year letting them know that here or not they are always brightly shinning at each of our tables.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to see blue candles all over Lodi over the next 2 weeks! Let me know if you plan on participating by lighting a blue candle in your home.
If you would like to share any stories or homecomings with me, you can email me at lisa@lodinews.com.
Enlisting is an exciting time for the person going through the process, the choices, and the opportunities shown to you. For the parents it is a time of wondering if your young adult really understands the consequences of their choice, knows what to ask, and how to read a contract.
I received this question from a reader via email.
Any advice from those who have been through this process either as the enlistee, parent, or spouse would be greatly appreciated.
My questions:
Lisa, my son is seriously considering joining the Air Force. He wants to pursue the extra firefighting training and college available in the Air Force. He hasn’t signed anything yet but has done his homework carefully. His Mom and I support him completely. Nevertheless, we worry. What would you and your readers recommend he ask the recruiter and get in a contract before making his commitment?
Also, he called to ask our middle names, places of birth and date of marriage so he can complete some Air Force paperwork. What’s with that? Apparently even a common airman gets quite a background check before they outfit him with boots and a fire helmet.
Marty
My son went through his enlistment process on his own, we never met his recruiters or saw any paperwork, so my advice is from what I have heard from my N4M friends.
- Make sure that everything the recruiter promises is in writing before he signs his contract.
- Remember that until you are sworn in you hold all the cards regarding your contract and enlistment.
I look forward to seeing the comments we get on this subject. If you have any other blog item ideas or questions you would like put out to the community for answers and input please email me at lisa@lodinews.com
Happy Holidays everyone!
My last blog entry focused on the feelings as a mom as your child gets to boot camp, what they experience and how everyone adjusts and learns to cope with a child who is now being broken down and rebuilt as a soldier, seaman, or airman. While the branch of service might be different the feelings and experiences are very similar.
So, I thought it would be fun to look the humorous side of my experience while my son was in boot camp. First I guess would be stalking the mailman. We all have learned that those in boot camp live for mail call. Don’t forget that those of us at home live for the mail delivery each day as well. I began to have a love/hate relationship with the mailbox and my mailman who lives down the street and has been our mailman since we moved to Lodi 17 years ago! I tried to not blame him for the days the letters didn’t arrive and tried not to hug him the days they did. Some moms get long letters describing the food, their activities during the day, and how much they missed home. My son wrote brief letters about how great boot camp was that they were yelled at all the time and it was awesome. He described that he was in an all Special Operations Division and that they were punished by having PT (physical training) taken away instead of giving them more. My favorite description was how they would stay up after lights out and work out in the bathrooms!
Some of my favorite quotes posted by moms on N4M’s from their kids during boot camp:
“….gosh mom, do you know how many friends you have on that silly site? I got the most mail today….”
“….my perspective of boot camp was to get in shape, shoot guns, breath gas and learn to salute…..boy I was wrong…”
“Thanks for all the years you made me clean my room, it finally paid off”
“I miss you guys and I miss just talking with you and getting hugs from you! I think that is the one thing I miss the most…Hugs…”
“Boot camp isn’t too bad all it is, is doing whatever you’re told to do.” (That’s my son, stating the obvious that I had been trying to get thru to him all these years.)
** Thank you to the moms that posted the comments above and shared a little bit of their recruits point of view during boot camp.
Another funny thing about having a child in boot camp is how attached your cell phone become to your body. I kept mine with me all the time, next to the bed at night, in the bathroom (was just sure this was how I would miss a call), at work right next to me, at yoga (on vibrate & with instructors approval), on my lap during a dental visit. I was just sure that the few times I didn’t have my phone or didn’t have service I would miss a call from my recruit, and I was correct. I missed his first call coming home from girl’s weekend in the mountains. Missed that call by 15 minutes, when he didn’t get me he called his girl friend. She called me as soon as she hung up and felt SO bad that she had talked to him and I didn’t. I was sad but she recounted the call almost word for word so I knew he was fine and that was what mattered most. In fact, I was thrilled he called her because as a girl she would have actually had a conversation with him. if he had called home and his brother or step dad had answered I would have gotten very few details and just that all was fine and he said hi. His second call I almost missed because I was on an airplane (I left my phone on to the last second and turned it on as the wheels touched the ground. I had a missed call………from him, but when he called his girlfriend she told him to try and call me back as I was landing. So, everyone on the flight heard my conversation with him and my excitement at actually getting to hear his voice! It was the first time I didn’t care if I was bothering anyone with my conversation, I was so happy I was crying while talking to him.
I know of moms that had call forwarding put on their home phones to their cell phones, moms that got toll-free numbers so their son didn’t have to worry about having a phone card. Oh, forgot to mention that the Navy doesn’t provide phones for the recruits to call home, they need to have phone cards to make any calls.
On this topic of mail and phone calls, during this Holiday season there are many military personnel who don’t receive mail from home. Below are links to groups that organize collections, distribute letters, and accept donations of items for military personnel serving our Country.
http://www.packedwithpride.com
http://www.americasupportsyou.mil/americasupportsyou/otherswhosupport
Packed with Pride is a great local organization in Stockton that was founded by Becky Mizner, a Gold Star Mom, and they will adopt your service member and can always use help or donations.
If you have any information on other organizations that also provide this type of help for our troops, please email me with their information at lisa@lodinews.com and I will post that as well.
I look forward to hearing about any stories from other families and their experiences with boot camp, letters, and phone calls.
Veteran’s Day is a U.S. holiday celebrated on November 11, honouring veterans of the U.S. armed forces and those killed in battle. Originally called Armistice Day, it began as a commemoration of the ending of World War I on Nov. 11, 1918. After World War II it was recognized as a day to pay tribute to all service members, and in 1954 it was designated as Veterans Day. It is usually observed with parades, speeches, and flowers placed on military graves and memorials. The holiday is called Remembrance Day in Canada and Remembrance Sunday (on the Sunday nearest to November 11) in Britain.
They Did Their Share
On Veteran’s Day we honor
Soldiers who protect our nation.
For their service as our warriors,
They deserve our admiration.
Some of them were drafted;
Some were volunteers;
For some it was just yesterday;
For some it’s been many years;
In the jungle or the desert,
On land or on the sea,
They did whatever was assigned
To produce a victory.
Some came back; some didn’t.
They defended us everywhere.
Some saw combat; some rode a desk;
All of them did their share.
No matter what the duty,
For low pay and little glory,
These soldiers gave up normal lives,
For duties mundane and gory.
Let every veteran be honored;
Don’t let politics get in the way.
Without them, freedom would have died;
What they did, we can’t repay.
We owe so much to them,
Who kept us safe from terror,
So when we see a uniform,
Let’s say “thank you” to every wearer.
-By Joanna Fuchs
*from post by Navywife275 from NavyForMoms.com
My son arrived in Great Lakes, IL at the Navy’s Recruit Training Command (RTC) on May 20th, 2008. It was the beginning of his military career! It was also the beginning of our life as a military family and oh what a ride it has been.
His call to let me know he had arrived at the RTC was at 11:30pm PST which meant it was 1:30am CST. It was a quick phone call. The only thing he said was he was there safely and he would not hear from me for about two weeks. My first thought after hanging up with him was, what have they been doing with him since he landed in Chicago that afternoon? Then I lay in bed wondering what was going on, where they yelling at him, was he nervous, had he eaten dinner, and was he going to get to sleep soon? The usual questions a mom would ask, so there I was 1,000 miles away lying in bed wondering what he was going through. It was a long night without much sleep. I knew he would be processed, get medical and dental exams, shots, issued his uniforms and assigned to a SHIP (The Navy’s name for barracks). What I wanted to know was how all this happened. I wanted and needed details to know that he was going to be okay. I knew he wouldn’t be calling for at least 2 - 3 weeks but still I kept my cell phone with me ALL the time.
I spent all my free time on the internet trying to find information and first hand accounts of what it was like when the recruits arrived at RTC. There is a website for RTC where I spent a lot of time trying to learn all I could about the process and it was there that I stumbled across NavyForMoms.com. I joined N4M’s on May 27th a week after my son arrived at RTC and as I said before they have been an incredible support system since that day.
What I learned about the first few days of boot camp (which I would think is pretty universal within the military).
- They start yelling at them from the moment they arrive.
- Upon arrival they are given blue sweats to change into and given a box to put all their personal belongings that they can’t keep with them. Everyone now knows they are new recruits and they are referred to as “smurfs” at RTC.
- Lots of time is spent standing in line to get shots.
- Lots of waiting.
- No real sleep the first 48 hours.
- Lots of yelling.
New recruits being measured for their uniforms upon arrival to Great Lakes Recruit Training Command
The dreaded box arrived around a week after he left and it was not as hard as I thought. I think that having talked to other moms that have been through this helped me be ready for that moment. I didn’t get a note or anything in the box like some moms had. Then I realized that I wouldn’t be hearing from my son until the “form” letter arrived with his address.
My mentor moms from N4M’s tell you to start writing to your child as soon as they leave and just save the letters until you get their address and mail them immediately. Mail call is the highlight of the day during boot camp and the more people that you can get to write to your child during that time the more support they feel.
What I learned about sending and receiving mail during boot camp:
- You learn exactly what time your mail is delivered.
- You (the parent) write a letter everyday and you get maybe one a week from your recruit.
- Your questions are generally never answered as your letters cross in the mail
- Letters get lost going to boot camp and coming out - mail is processed by recruits
- Writing a letter a day is difficult sometimes and makes you realize that your life isn’t that exciting after all!
- Getting a letter from your child is like Christmas morning every time.
The form letter arrives but who has addressed it? It’s all CAPS and the letters are all uniform size, oh my goodness they have retrained him how to write! He writes three lines that say he is fine, he is in an all OPSPEC Ship (Special Operations recruits are in the same group for boot camp), and that he loves us.
Finally his address, I mail an envelope with a letter for every day he has been gone. I email my family and close friends with his address asking that they write to him as well, I want him to know that we are all behind him and his decision.
Impatiently I wait for my first letter from him, I go home at lunch to check the mail, and I check again when I get home from work. I all but stalk the poor mailman who actually lives down the street! A group is formed on NavyForMoms.com for his SHIP and DIV. We all promise to share the moment we get a letter, and FINALLY around the third week of boot camp the letters start arriving. Those moms closest to Illinois get them early in the week and those of us on the West Coast at the end of the week; I learn that Thursday is usually the day my letters tend to arrive.
It arrives! The letter I have been pining for is here…my son has written me a letter for the first time. He says he is doing great, loves it, and the best line from the letter was:
They yell at us all the time, it is awesome! - Apparently all the yelling at home over the years was good training!
Right after reading the letter for the third time I quickly got online and shared my letter with my friends on N4M’s. We learn that the recruits only have time to write on Sundays, but some chose to use that time to sleep, take a shower longer than three minutes, or just hang out. I guess they don’t realizing that their mom is desperately waiting to hear what has been going on in their world for the last week. Other moms have more detailed information from their recruit actually talking about what they did those first weeks and between all of us we felt we had a pretty good idea that they spent their time doing the following:
- Sleeping, very little
- Marching, all the time
- Eating, quickly only a short time is given to eat
- Marching more
- Showering for 3 minutes or less ~ we all thought this was funny as most teenagers take showers until all the hot water is gone
- Class time was conducted in the middle of the SHIP (building they live in) and they sit on the floor for most instruction
- Cleaning everything
- Folding their clothes
- Ironing their clothes
- Getting yelled at during all the above
Instruction during boot camp in SHIP Meal time in galley -no talking allowed
Our next big thrill was the phone call; it was supposed to be sometime around the third week, more on that in my next blog entry later this week.
Below is a link to the Navy’s video on What to Expect in Boot Camp for those who would like to see more about the Navy Boot Camp:
http://www1.netc.navy.mil/nstc/rtcgl/recruits/video2.html
Don’t forget this blog is about sharing information and connecting local families who are sharing similar experiences.
If you have information that you would like included in a blog entry please email me at lisa.lodinews.com.
(Photos from Navy’s RTC website)
Fleet Week in San Francisco
Fleet Week is an annual event in San Francisco to honor the men and women currently serving in the U.S. and allied armed forces, particularly in the United States Navy, Marines and Coast Guard. It is an opportunity for the public to learn about their character and skill, and the pride with which they carry out their duties. This is one of the best attended events in Northern California. If you have never participated, you are missing an incredible opportunity to see a spectacular air show, and to tour ships that are part of our Navy and Coast Guard fleets.
The ships participating this year were the USS Bonhomme Richard, an amphibious assault carrier, the USS Pinckney, a guided missile destroyer, and the Coast Guard’s newest cutter, the USCG Bertholf, commissioned in August 2008. In addition, an air show with both the U.S. Navy Blue Angels and the Canadian Snowbirds provided entertainment in the skies for all to enjoy.
While I have attended Fleet Week a few times, this was going to be my first time as a Navy Mom. I thought it would be a great opportunity for a group event for NavyforMoms.com to meet our “online friends” and celebrate the Navy at the same time, what could be more perfect! I sent an invite out to the Northern California Moms. Then my N4M online friend Joyce from Tucson said she was going to drive out to see her parents and come to Fleet Week on Saturday with us! I was so excited to finally get to meet one of my first friends from the website. She surprised us by inviting us to join her on a private bay cruise to watch the Blue Angels, with her friends who were having a Customer Appreciation event for their construction company. They had sent an invitation to Joyce to join them and when she called to say she was planning to go to Fleet Week with a group of moms she had met online her friends said to bring them along. Now, for anyone who has tried to navigate San Francisco during the weekend of Fleet Week, you will understand how excited I was to learn that in addition to the wonderful opportunity to watch the Blue Angels on this cruise, we would leave out of the Berkeley Marina, what an extra special treat.
Here are some pictures from our fabulous day!
Our “ride” for the afternoon.
My N4M’s friends, Joyce, and her son Eric, and Heloisa.
The Blue Angels are incredible to see from the Bay, I have been in the City to watch them perform before but the experience is even better on the water.
We were excited to get ‘up close and personal’ with the Jeremiah O’Brien, which we were told participated in D-Day!
Not only did we get to meet in person and share a wonderful afternoon on the bay, we experienced a special pride in our sons’ decision to serve our country. Everyone we met on the cruise was so kind and welcoming and many asked us to thank our sons for their service to our country. What a wonderful feeling to know that someone I didn’t know before that day was thanking me for something my son was doing for his country. It was a special moment for me, and I have never been more proud of my son.
As a “thank you” to our incredible hosts for the day I am sending them a bottle of Lodi wine with an invitation to come wine tasting any time!
Just a quick post with the link to the new Air Force Dads website (remember anyone with a loved one in the Air Force will be welcomed) that I referenced in my last blog. I also thought it would be nice to have all the links to other military websites that have been posted as comments in one place so they are easy to find!
www.airforcedads.com
ProudArmyMomsGOARMY@groups.msn.com
www.usmcparents.com
www.packedwithpride.com
www.mcvbluestarmothers.org
www.navyformoms.com
www.navydads.com
Please keep the information and personal stories coming, you can contact me at lisa@lodinews.com if you have a story, letter, or information that you would like to share as a blog item.
My next blog………Fleet Week as a Navy Mom!
