Just fifteen months ago, I was the one who wasn’t sure how I would handle my son leaving for Navy Boot Camp. Then last month, one of my best friend’s sons went off to Air Force Boot Camp, and now I am on the other side, trying to be there for her.
All of a sudden I am the “experienced” military mom, the one who understands completely what it feels like to have your child head off to the great unknown, so excited and proud of them but yet scared and unsure. Almost like the first day of kindergarten only on steroids, at least in Kindergarten the teacher is working to ensure they like school and want to come back.
Boot Camp is the opposite, it’s about breaking them down and being built back up the way the Air Force, Navy, Army, or Marines thinks they should be, teaching them to obey, make their beds, folder their clothes, IRON, strip and wax a floor, and NOBODY ever wants to go back. As I have learned, the military does a much better job at teaching those skills than I did, but they yell more than me and their punishments are worse! But us moms just want to protect our children and knowing someone else is yelling at them 24/7 is hard on us.
Watching her go thru all the emotions, waiting for the first letter, first call, then missing the call and hearing a voicemail that he leaves for you and beating yourself up for not having taken your phone with you every moment of the day.
My favorite moment with her so far is from early the second week, when she asked me if it was too soon to start stalking the mailman! I told her yes, and laughed remembering feeling the same way (sorry Greg - our mailman). Seeing the joy and excitement on her face after receiving her first letter a week later and reminding her how she was ready to stalk/harass the mailman a week earlier.
I hope I am able to provide the same support whether it’s a shoulder to cry on, someone to vent with, or just someone to say, yep….been there and felt just like you are right now, because all my friends did that for me and I wouldn’t have made it thru Boot Camp without them!
Note: I should begin with an apology to readers of Lisa’s Home Front blog. It’s not my intention that Christi and I dominate this forum. Many families have sons and daughters and friends in the service. And I’m sure Lisa would love to have more reflections. Some of the letters that service people send home aren’t so personal (or such security risks) that they can’t be shared with neighbors and friends back home. I hope this entry encourages others to contribute to the Home Front.
Rob called Sunday afternoon. He just completed his first “real week” of Air Force boot camp.
Christi had been hanging by the phone all day knowing he might call on a Sunday. We made peach jam together. Late in the afternoon, she ducked out to drop off leftover peaches at some friends’ homes. She left her cell phone in the car for ten minutes. Of course, that’s when Rob called.
Then he called the house phone, so his brother Mike and I got to really talk to him, at least for a brief few moments. He sounded quiet; Mike said exhausted.
“Air Force basic is a lot harder than people think. I wanted to have a low profile during boot camp, but that didn’t work too well.” Rob said. “My drill instructor thinks I have leadership potential.” So Rob has been appointed Flight Leader; there are 49 men in his Flight. Some of them have screwed up. Like all the other flights, Rob’s failed its first dorm inspection.
“I’ve been doing a lot of push-ups.” Other recruits have been given free time to write letters. Rob uses that time going over the dorm preparing for the next inspection.
When he called he had just finished a six-minute meal break - the first break he’s had since basic training began in earnest a week ago. He apologized for not writing.
At that point you could tell the pressure is getting to him. I gave him some encouragement, and he said some of his guys have promised to help him with his duties so he can have enough time to write a letter. Then he cheered up and told of being issued an M-16 by a supply sergeant, I presume.
“Thank you, sir,” he said.
“Don’t thank me, son. Thank your recruiter.”
We laughed. Then with a faint “I love you” he had to hang up.
Christi was sort of mopey all evening because she didn’t get to talk to Rob.
“You’re worried about your boy, aren’t you,” I said.
“Aren’t you?” she asked.
I don’t know if I was supportive or not, but I said it’s hard for a Mom to understand because they weren’t boys. Boys want to be men, independent and strong. That’s what Rob’s achieving. I’m not happy for him; he’s in the emotional dumps. But I’m proud. I am confident he can do this and will achieve something very important when he comes out the other end.
She listened quietly.
Irritated, I stared at the truck keys, wallet, scattered coins and sunglasses that my 21-year-old son had tossed unceremoniously on my clean kitchen counter. With a sigh, I started to gather it all. And then I stopped.
By the end of this month I will be missing this mess on my counter. Rob, away from home for the last three years studying, working and volunteering as a firefighter, had moved home for his final weeks as a civilian. He will be leaving for Air Force boot camp on July 28.
For Rob, it’s an adventure and a step forward in his career path. He couldn’t be any more eager and excited and can’t wait to get started. But what will it be like for us here at home? What should I do to get him ready? And what should I do to get us ready for the next four years?
Through this “Home Front” blog I have learned that online social networking groups, like airforcedads.com, are out there and that they can provide wonderful information and very needed emotional support. So I’ve signed up, enlisted in my own way I guess, and I’ve started asking questions. And from these parents, former airmen and navy sailors, I am getting lots of tips. For instance, I’m told to make sure he packs several days of underwear because he may not get to do his laundry for a week. One airman who recently finished boot camp said my son should take his cell phone. They will take the battery and lock it up, but he will be allowed to use it when he earns phone privileges. She said having his own cell phone will mean he won’t be stuck in long phone booth lines. And there was a great suggestion to have a small address book out at his “going away” party for everyone to list their mailing addresses so Rob can take it with him to boot camp.
And for all the questions I haven’t thought of asking yet? I imagine the information will be available from my new online buddies or some website out there. It makes me wonder how did mothers and fathers handle shipping their son or daughter off to the military before the Internet made the unknown a little less scary?
So, I’m trying to take some comfort in the knowledge that I’ll probably have a good idea of what Rob will be enduring and learning as he makes the transition from my son to a military man.
But knowing that won’t help much when, at home, we’ll just be missing him. Writing letters every day will be important for him to receive in mail call, and I suppose writing them will be therapeutic for us.
But for now, I’m looking at his mess on my kitchen counter. And I’m thinking that maybe I won’t clean it up. I’ll just enjoy the fact that his keys, wallet, coins and sunglasses are scattered all over. For two more weeks, he’s still home.
Blue Star Mothers is a wonderful organization, wanted to share an upcoming event with everyone.
SOLDIER’S FAMILY SURVIVAL WORKSHOP
July 25, 2009
10:00 am to 2:00 pm
CSU at Stanislaus
One University Circle
Mary Stuart Rogers Gateway Center, Rm.130
Turlock, CA
The Modesto Blue Star Mothers
and the Stanislaus County of the American Red Cross
developed this workshop to address the need for military parents and spouses to be prepared for their loved ones deployment and homecoming
YOU MUST RSVP BY July 22, 2009 to Reserve your spot.
LUNCH WILL BE PROVIDED
IT IS FREE!!!
To register - Please email us at
modesto.bluestarmothers@yahoo.com
I have a friend I made thru N4M.com, her husband was in Great Lakes, IL with my son while they were training for their chosen Special Ops jobs. Her husband has been in the Navy for around 10 years and had worked very hard to be recommended to the training in Great Lakes. He went to San Diego with his class and while he worked very hard at completing this very difficult training, he chose to not complete the training at this time.
Over the past months I have watched, listened, and learned how difficult it is on the guys who thought they had what it takes to make it in this elite program. The hurt, pain, and disappointment they feel in themselves is overwhelming to witness. It is a private struggle they go thru to realize what caused them to quit, learning about themselves, and then having to decide what they want to do next.
For those who have joined the Navy with the intent of only going into Special Ops it is a quick and painful lesson on how the Navy works. They are given a list of jobs that are open that they are qualified for and must chose quickly, sometimes too quick given their state of mind. Those who have been in the Navy and have a stronger idea of what they do and don’t want to do and they are aware of other options, one being being “loaned” out to another branch of the military while still being in the Navy.
So, back to my friends husband (also referred to as my “internet” son), he after much thought and processes of trying other options has decided to go IA (Individual Agumentee), which means he will be “loaned” to the Army in the Infantry. His particular assignment is to work with the SeaBee’s supporting the SEALs. We don’t know where exactly he will be going, just that it will be to an active area of the world and his deployment will be for 1 year.
I never knew that branches of the military shared their sailors, soldiers, or airmen. Does anyone else have any experience with this that I can pass along to a concerned wife?
I found this incredible blog that highlights a new hero every Wednesday, and while they aren’t from Lodi, I feel that we should all be reminded of how those in the miiltary are putting their lives on the line for us everyday. I will be updating this weekly as the new hero’s are posted.
Thanks to Chris at: http://rightwingrightminded.blogspot.com who faithfully puts tons of work into writing these Wednesday Hero posts for us…
Aviation Ordnanceman 2nd Class (SEAL) Marc A. Lee
28 years old from Hood River, Oregon
Navy SEAL
August 2, 2006
“Marc was amazing. He was my best friend, my love,” his widow, Maya, said.
Petty Officer Marc A. Lee joined the Navy in 2001 and became an AO after completing Naval Air Technical Training. Later that year he attempted to complete the grueling BUD/S program but caught pneumonia and had to drop out. He tried again in 2004 and completed the course.
On August 2, 2006, Marc A. Lee became the first SEAL to be killed in combat in Iraq when he was fatally wounded in a firefight in Ramadi, Iraq. The following is from the award citation:
“During the operation, one element member was wounded by enemy fire. The element completed the casualty evacuation, regrouped and returned onto the battlefield to continue the fight. Petty Officer Lee and his SEAL element maneuvered to assault an unidentified enemy position. He, his teammates, Bradley Fighting Vehicles and Abrams tanks engaged enemy positions with suppressive fire from an adjacent building to the north.
“To protect the lives of his teammates, he fearlessly exposed himself to direct enemy fire by engaging the enemy with his machine gun and was mortally wounded in the engagement. His brave actions in the line of fire saved the lives of many of his teammates”
“It was so like Marc to give up his life to save his friends,” his mother, Debbie Lee, told the Hood River News. “I am so proud of him. He is my hero.”
Petty Officer Lee was posthumously awarded a Bronze Star with combat “V” for his actions in Iraq during his team’s combat tour and the Purple Heart medal.
All Information Was Found On And Copied From MilitaryCity.com
These brave men and women sacrifice so much in their lives so that others may enjoy the freedoms we get to enjoy everyday. For that, I am proud to call them Hero.
We Should Not Only Mourn These Men And Women Who Died, We Should Also Thank God That Such People Lived
May is National Military Appreciation Month
I found these on the National Military Appreciation Month website - http://www.nmam.org/
Some great suggestions on ways to support our military this month!
|
A DOZEN WAYS TO SUPPORT OUR MILITARY!
|
| #1 Call or email your representative and ask them to sponser the new NMAM Concurrent Resolution (H.CON.RES 84) |
| #2 FLY THE FLAG ON YOUR HOUSE, CAR, or BUSINESS DURING MAY |
| #3 SEND A CARE PACKAGE TO A SOLDIER THROUGH USOCARES |
| #4 ORGANIZE AN EVENT IN YOUR OWN COMMUNITY, AND AT YOUR WORKPLACE |
| #5 ASK YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS AT ALL LEVELS TO RECOGNIZE OUR MILITARY |
| #6 SEND AN EMAIL OR LETTER OF THANKS THROUGH A Million Thanks |
| #7 ADOPT A HERO AT SOLDIERS’ ANGELS! |
| #8 ASK LIBRARIES, SCHOOLS, ORGANIZATIONS TO PARTICIPATE IN RECOGNIZING OUR ARMED FORCES |
| #9 ASK LOCAL MEDIA (TV, RADIO, NEWSPAPER) TO FEATURE |
| #10 WHEN YOU SEE A PERSON IN A MILITARY UNIFORM, SHAKE THEIR HAND AND SAY, “THANK YOU FOR SERVING OUR COUNTRY” |
| #11 WEAR A SUPPORT OUR TROOPS WRISTBAND OR SHIRT |
| #12 HIRE A VETERAN - VISIT HIRE A VET FIRST FOR MORE INFORMATION |
I received the following email from a friend and felt it was something I wanted to share. We as a country don’t always support our veterans of war very well, especially when we might not agree with the war they are sent to fight. Because of this it is important to remember they don’t decide where and why they fight. Their decision was to serve their country. With this in mind, please take a minute to read through the information below.
You never know when it might become useful to you or someone you know.
Thank you,
Lisa
This is the main website address for Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America:
Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans
This is the body of the email I received:
AVA launched a new campaign last week to reach the friends and family members of Iraq and Afghanistan veterans. They’re trying to get 100,000 views of the new ad by Mother’s Day on May 10. Take a minute to watch it here: http://supportyourvet.org/node/807#television.Then tune into Comedy Central’s “The Colbert Report” tomorrow at 11:30pm EST/10:30pm CST to find out the latest from IAVA’s Executive Director, Paul Rieckhoff.
Thanks for your support!
I have been hearing some interesting information lately regarding the number of young people trying to enlist in the military, “trying” being the operative word in that sentence.
Apparently most, if not all branches of the military are now experiencing the interesting situation of having more potential recruits than current openings. This is especially evident with the most popular jobs in each branch and is leading to an opportunity for each branch to be much more selective in who they are extending contracts to. A friend’s son waited four months to get a firefighters contract for the Air Force and he won’t be shipped out for Basic Training until the end of July.
What an interesting situation for recruiters who have for many years spent much of their time working very hard to “sell” the idea of enlistment as a viable option for our young people. Recruiters are now being contacted in large numbers by recent high school graduates who are having trouble finding work, those who realize that college may not be for them, and by young people that have graduated from college but aren’t able to find jobs in their field of choice.
I have a son in the Navy and another that is a Lodi High senior who will graduate in less than 6 weeks. I can understand how the current state of our economy is making enlistment seem like a viable option. My senior isn’t sure what he wants to do for a career, I am not sure that college is the best or right choice for him. These details are the types of reasons that he might be in a position to actually return one of the many calls from one of the recruiters calling him.
Let me explain, that two years ago, before my older son had entered the Navy I would have been completely panicked by this option. I now realize what a great experience and how much my son has learned and grown while during his service and now I think that ALL 18 year olds should at least experience Boot Camp.
Seriously, the skills and maturity that is gained in those 8 weeks could do a lot for all young people, and make them appreciate their parents for all that has been done for them over the years. And that could never be a bad thing!
Here is a link to current statistics from March 2009
http://usmilitary.about.com/od/2009recruitingstatistics/a/march.-xhY.htm
I had an eye-opening experience last week. I joined a group of N4Ms (Navy for Moms.com) friends in Southern California to watch as our sons/husbands/boyfriends completed a grueling week of training.
Some of the group arrived in Southern California earlier in the week wanting to watch what they could of the training that would occur all week and in various locations. I wanted to be there at the end of the week to take care of my son and help him with his recovery as much as I could. But when they called me on Sunday night so I could hear the beginning of Hell Week I was so torn between wanting to be there and knowing that it wasn’t something that was meant to be a “spectator” event.
My friends sent me emails and text messages throughout the week to keep me informed of what was going on and how the training was going. On the first full day of training I received a text from a friend who said I should be glad I wasn’t there because it was so hard watching the boys enduring such harsh weather conditions. Sideways rain, wind, chilly temperatures, and the ocean was rough and unforgiving and it just didn’t stop. Knowing that, I was glad that I wasn’t there that day. We later learned that this was the worst weather in 4 years that a class had experienced during Hell Week.
My best friend and I drove to Southern California and joined the group on Thursday; it was so great to meet the women that I had been emailing and texting with in person. They were all just as wonderful and friendly as they had seemed to be, and we had a wonderful dinner getting to know each other. After dinner we went to the beach to try and watch what we could of the last activity that our boys would be doing. This was done at night and we had to use binoculars to try and see them. We were only able to see the faint glow from the glow sticks they wore around their necks, but we were so excited to know they were out there and so close to finishing this week of training. We raced around to try and see them in another location but missed them. Then we went to one of the final locations where we knew they would stop and waited, and waited, and waited and waited. A tradition during this last activity is to somehow get food and snacks out to the boys. We happened upon a group that was taking food out and purchased hamburgers, protein drinks, and gatorade to add to their “loot”.
But as I sat there waiting for the boys to come around the corner I began to realize that this was somewhere that I wasn’t meant to be. It wasn’t a soccer game, a swim meet, or a school performance. This was part of the training that my son had been dreaming of doing for the past year and a half; it was the first major test of his commitment and ability to achieve his goal and position within Navy Special Warfare. He didn’t need or want his mom there; it was his time and moment to shine and prove to himself what he was capable of doing. I would be there at the end, when he was able to see me, but I didn’t want to see him or have him see me that night. So my friend and I left and went back to our hotel. The others stayed late into the night and saw the boys stop. They said it was an incredible sight.
The next day, the other moms felt bad that I hadn’t been there to see the boys, and I told them I had realized that I didn’t want to see my son until he was done. For me, it was time to let go, maybe not completely, but enough to let him fly on his own. I would celebrate his accomplishments with him afterwards.
My son completed his training last week, and I have never been as proud of him as I was last Friday. He was sore, tired, and had trouble walking, but the smile on his face was from ear to ear. Over a hundred had tried to complete the training, and only about half finished it. They have joined a select group. While they have many more months of training before them, and not all will complete it, they are warriors, and I am very proud of all of them.
*** This blog posting was reviewed by the Navy prior to publishing, as were all the other postings.***
