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New tips to succeed at spring testing

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Posted: Monday, April 16, 2012 6:10 pm

My 12 year old niece informed me Sunday that this week her class would begin that yearly ritual of standardized testing. Every student from about 8 years old to 17 years old sits through some version of the exam each year. That tradition goes hand in hand with the list of suggestions on how to do well on the test. They're useful, sure. It's great to get a good breakfast and plenty of sleep.  But by the time my niece reached middle school, she had heard all the tips from at least seven different teachers. To be frank, she's a little bored. 

So I came up with a new list to make her giggle over the breakfast table. We call it "What not to do during STAR testing."

1. Do not do your laundry. The suds will make the answer booklet all soggy. You're supposed to be filling in bubbles, not making them. 

2. Do not cook waffles. The whole class will want one. And adding syrup is just a sticky mess on your desk.

3. Do not give your dog a bath. As messy as the pup might be, she'll never hold still with all the other kids around. 

4. Do not create a new Twitter account. You will have nothing interesting to tweet with everyone hunched over and working quietly.

5. Do not start your summer garden. There's never enough sunlight in classrooms to make tomatoes grow. And your teacher doesn't want to water them.

6. Do not brush your teeth. It's almost time for lunch, anyway. 

7. Do not reorganize your textbooks. If you don't know where they are, it might be a little too late. 

8. Do not practice your yodeling skills. The class next door doesn't have the sophisticated ears required to appreciate them. 

9. Do not jump rope. There isn't room in between the rows of desks. 

10. Do not have a pillow fight. You'll need those pillows later to nap on while waiting for the testing period to end. 

Good luck this year!

Do you have any silly or serious tips to add to our list? Let us know in the comments.  

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