Bicycling father raising awareness of teen suicide

David Alexander holds a photo of himself with his 17-year-old daughter, Angela, taken before she committed suicide last year. (Jennifer M. Howell/News-Sentinel)

Bicycling father raising awareness of teen suicide

By Layla Bohm
News-Sentinel Staff Writer

Wednesday, November 4, 2009 12:37 PM PST

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It's been more than five months and 3,500 miles, but David Alexander isn't finished bicycling.

He is traveling through the western United States, handing out one-page fliers explaining his "Bike Ride for Life." The flier features a photo of Alexander with his 17-year-old daughter, who committed suicide last December. If someone stops to listen, Alexander further explains his mission.

"I don't want other parents to go through what I went through," the Michigan man said Tuesday on a brief stop in Lodi. "If you can save a life, maybe you can save the world."

His testament is stored in the leather-bound journals he keeps in a pack on his bicycle. In various states, people have stopped to write a paragraph to Alexander, thanking him for sharing his story and encouraging him to remain strong.

Alexander plans to continue riding until Dec. 19, the one-year anniversary of his daughter's death. Then, he said Tuesday, he will return to his remaining daughter, 11-year-old Ivy.

The ride is Alexander's way of dealing with several large losses.

"Some people put candles, flowers and teddy bears where people died. This is my healing process," he said.

While Angela's suicide was devastating, it was the third tragedy to strike Alexander in less than a year.

On Jan. 16, 2008, his wife, Connie, died of cancer. The next month, he said, his oldest sister also died of cancer. Then came Dec. 19.

David Alexander is bicycling the western states to raise awareness of teen suicide. (Jennifer M. Howell/News-Sentinel)

Alexander, who said he had worked in landscaping, was trying to pick up the pieces of his life, so he decided to go on a bike ride. He'd never seen the ocean or redwood trees, so last May he started out from Blaine, Wash.

He's gotten lost countless times, had a couple bike wrecks and has met multitudes of people between Washington and southern California.

In Nevada, he stopped at a thrift store and gave an employee a flier. A 16-year-old girl was working in the shop, read Alexander's tribute to his daughter and then told Alexander that she'd planned to commit suicide that very night.

Alexander pulled out a card with a suicide prevention hotline number on it, and counselors came to talk to the girl.

"She calls me two weeks later and she says, 'Thank you. I was honestly going to do that. You're an angel,'" Alexander said.

The 49-year-old Alexander stays in campgrounds and at truck stops, washing his clothing at Laundromats.

He's used money from his checking and savings accounts, and he is determined that he doesn't need the resources of homeless shelters and soup kitchens. He resents it when people assume he's "a bum" just because he's got helmet hair and a lot of road dust on him.

He does accept some small donations to fund the trip, such as photocopying the flier, but if someone gives him food, he insists on cleaning gutters to pay for it.

His message is aimed at both parents and teens.

For parents, he said it's crucial to listen and talk to their children, to set rules and to keep strong morals and values.

When Angela died, Alexander was devastated to realize that he had almost no current photos of him with his daughter. Once he finishes his bike ride and ends that cycle of grieving, Alexander said his next plan is clear: "I'm going to go be a dad to my other daughter."

They talk by cell phone daily, with Ivy living with Alexander's sister in Massachusetts.

Eventually the girl will see the journals that contain hopeful messages from complete strangers.

Sometimes the handwriting is nearly illegible, and sometimes the message is brief. But many of the comments are heartfelt, thanking Alexander for sharing his message and telling others about the devastation left by suicide.

It's Alexander's way of trying to restart his life.

"You just keep going, because you can't do anything for Angela but you can do something for someone else," he said.

Contact reporter Layla Bohm at layla@lodinews.com.

How to get help

For teens and adults contemplating suicide, and for those trying to help a suicidal person, call (800) 273-TALK (273-8255). The number is free, staffed 24 hours a day and confidential.

People may also call (800) SUICIDE (784-2433).

Locally, San Joaquin County has a 24-hour crisis response line at 468-8686.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline offers a wallet-sized card with tips on how to get help or recognize warning signs, and it can be printed from their Web site at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

How to help David Alexander

To help Alexander, he asked that supporters donate to agencies that offer help for children. Those wishing to sponsor his own trip can e-mail him at bikerideforlife@yahoo.com.

Reader Feedback

jnnym wrote on Nov 4, 2009 4:36 PM:

" A great story and tribute to his daughter.If only those who think about suicide would just stop for one minute and think of how this will effect their family for the rest of their lives. They must live with the fact that their loved one decided to leave this earth by taking his/her own life. Tiger, I want you to know that suicide is not always preventable. Sometimes, people just don't ask for help or you don't see the signs. "

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tiger wrote on Nov 4, 2009 9:07 AM:

" this is very inspiring! Suicide is preventable, and we all need to work together to tackle this issue that's bigger than it seems. Check out the suicide prevention lifeline website, or visit other organizations such as To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA for short, you might have seen a young man or women wearing one of their shirts) at twloha.com "

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