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Laid off? No income? How about a spanking-new car?
Wednesday, August 19, 2009 6:21 AM PDT
"Cash for Clunkers" has created a new problem for America.
There is now a shortage of affordable cars for people who can't or don't want to buy new ones.
The government program has destroyed many good automobiles and raised prices of the remaining older models. People looking for this type of vehicle are now forced to stand in dealership driveways and try to outbid the government, as potential new car customers come in with their old jalopies.
"This is terrible and unfair," said Jethro T. Junkers. "We can't afford a new car, and now they're taking the old ones away from us. What are we supposed to do — go to Cuba to buy something in our price range?"
Sen. Bourgeois Bucks has introduced a bill to help these citizens switch to new cars. To qualify, the applicant simply must have no job, income or assets. Here are the details of the bill:
1. The government will make monthly payments for as long as the participant remains financially distressed.
2. Washington, D.C. will also pick up the costs for expensive new car license plates and insurance.
3. Modern cars can be costly to maintain. Low-profile tires can run $1,000 or more per set. A replacement computer can be $2,000. The government will guarantee all vehicle costs and repairs.
4. Because depreciation is the highest expense in any new car ownership, the plan also provides a rebate for the amount in value a vehicle loses each month.
5. If the participant finds a job and cannot afford the payment, repossession fees are included.
Sen. Bucks opined that people should look beyond their own selfish needs and consider the environment. Buying a new car not only helps keep things green, but also saves gas and can put extra dollars in the participants' pants pockets.
Bucks said that because the government has invested billions into two large domestic automobile corporations, they cannot be allowed to fail.
"We can't lose those votes," he said. "We need Michigan in 2012."
There is criticism of the plan by various taxpayer groups throughout the country. Some government officials have charged that this un-American opposition is being instigated by right-wing radio talk show hosts and radical little old ladies.
"We know the vast majority of hard-working Americans want to level the playing field and have their money spent on programs like these," said the senator. If it is successful, Congress plans to expand it to RVs, houses and even Learjets.
For most of our 200-year history, Washington has relied on the free enterprise system to solve economic problems. But Sen. Bucks believes this plan is faster, flexible and far more fair-minded. "I don't know why we didn't think of this before," he said. "I suggest the people of this country quit their jobs and sign up right now."
Steve Hansen is a Lodi writer and satirist.
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dyan wrote on Aug 25, 2009 7:54 PM:
Brian wrote on Aug 25, 2009 7:47 PM:
Brian: How dim are you? lol! "
-Well I'm not the one who can't decipher the truth from satire. OR, have you finally figured out to decipher the truth from Steve Hansen's columns? "
Brian wrote on Aug 25, 2009 7:43 PM:
" Brian: Try arguing the topic instead of calling people names. "
Lodian wrote on Aug 24, 2009 4:24 PM:
" dyan: Let Bryan fight his own battles. And I'm glad you have finally acknowledged the name "Bryan". BTW, when did you get your blog police badge? "
-I don't know how lodian can expect us to take anything she says seriously when she is such a hipocrite. "
dyan wrote on Aug 24, 2009 7:58 PM:
dyan wrote on Aug 24, 2009 7:58 PM:
dyan wrote on Aug 24, 2009 7:49 PM:
Lodian wrote on Aug 24, 2009 4:24 PM:
dyan wrote on Aug 24, 2009 2:33 PM:
dyan wrote on Aug 24, 2009 2:31 PM:
Lodian wrote on Aug 24, 2009 1:27 PM:
"Lodian wrote on Aug 20, 2009 12:49 AM:
"FYI... "Steve Hansen is a Lodi writer and satirist."
"-And lodian reminds us in her own little way that she has trouble extracting truth from satire."
Brian: How dim are you? lol! "
jramagic wrote on Aug 24, 2009 12:05 PM:
jramagic wrote on Aug 24, 2009 12:05 PM:
dyan wrote on Aug 22, 2009 9:29 AM:
Argentina -high inflation - here we come. $200 for a loaf of bread by 2014? "
brian wrote on Aug 22, 2009 9:21 AM:
How else could the government function?
Finding a way to curtail out of control spending and balance their budget like they demand the free market do. Duh! "
brian wrote on Aug 22, 2009 9:17 AM:
" FYI... "Steve Hansen is a Lodi writer and satirist."
-And lodian reminds us in her own little way that she has trouble extracting truth from satire. "
dyan wrote on Aug 22, 2009 9:13 AM:
voter wrote on Aug 21, 2009 7:43 PM:
" Interesting concept Dr. Hansen has presented here. It begs the question:
Should government be in the business of buying anything for anybody by taking money from others? "
Sure. Government buys food and supplies for soldiers with my tax money. It buys bricks and mortar and books with my tax money so others can have a library. How else could the government function? "
gray cloud wrote on Aug 21, 2009 5:14 PM:
Stanford Man wrote on Aug 21, 2009 9:44 AM:
Should government be in the business of buying anything for anybody by taking money from others? "
edumacation wrote on Aug 21, 2009 8:15 AM:
dyan wrote on Aug 20, 2009 4:25 PM:
"than" "
dyan wrote on Aug 20, 2009 4:24 PM:
dyan wrote on Aug 20, 2009 3:32 PM:
Rhodie wrote on Aug 20, 2009 3:21 PM:
I think this would have been a much better program if: A) the new car sales reimburements had been restricted to solely US companies (after all, who are we trying to help?). B) (If I had the power) the new car would have had to been an electric, alternative fuel or hybrid cars.
Admittedly I am a bit of an extremist when it comes to how many cars are on the road and (again if I had the power I would) fully believe in tax credits for alternative transportation to work (walking, buses, biking, car pools, even telecomuting). "
max stanfield wrote on Aug 20, 2009 8:16 AM:
Lodian wrote on Aug 20, 2009 12:49 AM:
Lodian wrote on Aug 20, 2009 12:47 AM:
Well, dyan, I heard the dealers are getting double their money if they dot the "i" twice. "
Cogito wrote on Aug 19, 2009 9:36 PM:
Cogito wrote on Aug 19, 2009 9:24 PM:
dyan wrote on Aug 19, 2009 8:37 PM:
dyan wrote on Aug 19, 2009 8:36 PM:
jbhiker wrote on Aug 19, 2009 4:39 PM:
dyan wrote on Aug 19, 2009 9:18 AM:
B.C. From Stockton wrote on Aug 19, 2009 9:08 AM:
Cogito wrote on Aug 19, 2009 8:17 AM:
stella wrote on Aug 19, 2009 7:51 AM:
Cogito wrote on Aug 19, 2009 7:21 AM:
jramagic wrote on Aug 19, 2009 7:08 AM:
Well...Uncle Sam didn't want my 32 year old F-150...age discrimination...just as well, it serves me well (indeed, the whole family) going to the dumps, etc)...and my two used Toyotas are paid off and run like new. I'm taking a cruise instead with my money... "
Comments on this story are now closed.