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Diagnosed with cancer, Lodi man eventually discovers blessings he never imagined
Special to the News-Sentinel
As I laid on the gurney on March 26, 2009, waiting for yet another trip into artificial slumber, I was reminded — again — by my well-intentioned surgical nurse that once someone has had cancer, no one is really "cured" of this scourge on mankind despite the somewhat mythical five-year threshold to which most of us anxiously look forward.

Of course, after living with Stage Four Squamous Cell Carcinoma for nearly three years, I understood this fact quite well. Yet it took quite a bit of time and various events to force me to accept that my life would never again be the same. But what I did not expect was that the majority of the changes that would occur would be good things — no, actually, great things. The journey that commenced in February of 2006 would lead me to such joy and sense of purpose that if anyone other than I would be telling this story, there's no way that I would believe or accept it. But it's true, and I want to share it with anyone who will listen.
Where had my life gone?
Without going into the gory details regarding my life before cancer ("BC"), I can state with certainty that my life had very little direction. In fact, at 48, I truly believed that my best days were behind me and I was destined to live the remainder of my life in abject misery. Having been deemed to be disabled by the good folks at the Social Security Administration due to a long-term problem with my lower back, it was made abundantly clear by my employer that I wasn't earning my pay; they needed and were rightfully deserving of someone who could handle the physical and mental challenges required of a one-man Information Technology Department for a mid-size transportation company in Lodi, California. To their credit, I should have been called on the carpet two years prior — but for their sense of goodness and fairness, it wasn't until I had been employed nearly five years that they had had enough. Still, my employers were able to make my transition into disabled retirement as painless as possible.
Where had my life gone? Why should I be subject to so many "hits" within such a short period of time? Prior to losing my job, my marriage had deteriorated to the point that divorce seemed the only solution, and I once again found myself single and sad. And while I was unable to give 100 percent, my job was all that I believed I had left — along with my children, of course. Having no source of income, there was no choice but to sell my home. At least here, I had a little luck — with the guidance of one of the most ethical and honorable real estate agents in the city. It also didn't hurt that I put my home on the market just as the housing bubble reached its apex.
Without having to put a "For Sale" sign on the front lawn — and after one Open House that garnered no less than 12 offers well above my asking price, following the advice of my learned agent's many years in the real estate market — the transaction closed with absolutely no problems whatsoever. I was left with an obscene amount of money (at least, as it pertained to the original purchase price of my humble little abode) with which I happily handed over my former wife's share of the equity and used the balance to begin my new life in a two-bedroom apartment on the northeast side of Lodi. I even took to the road with my beloved dachshund, Dottie, to visit with two of my six children and four grandchildren in Houston, Texas that certainly brought me closer to them.
Of course, the money wouldn't last forever, and even though I knew I would live my life with chronic pain, dampened by various prescription cocktails that helped, I pondered: What to do with the enormous amount of time on my hands? My youngest child, at that time 14, was already showing the familiar signs of adolescence. Nearly gone were the days that I was the focus of her life. Perhaps returning to church in earnest would give me the direction that I so desperately needed. Well, it did — and it didn't. Clearly, something more profound than the combined events of divorce, pain, job loss and the premature sale of my home would be needed for me to come around, and I prayed for precisely that. All kidding aside, when God comes up with an answer, there is no limitation to what He will do to get our attention, as I was soon to find out.
A change in shaving habits — and a troubling discovery
In 2006, I noticed a small lump in my neck. The manner in which I noticed this little problem is not too interesting, yet I wonder how much longer it might have taken to discover it had I not decided to change my method of shaving. Not since I was in my teens had I desired to shave my beard with anything other than a straight-edge razor. I always believed that an electric razor would never be able to get close enough to my skin to satisfy my requirements for a baby-soft face. But since one was on sale at Wal-Mart in January of 2006 at a ridiculous price, I thought, "What the heck — why not?" After a few times with this machine, I noticed a distinct difference in the way it rolled over each side of my neck. Upon further examination, I couldn't help but see this little hill that had emerged on the left side. It was soft to the touch, but it didn't move around too much. With a mental shrug, I decided to not worry too much about it, although I did find myself "handling" it on a regular basis, I suppose, because I didn't have much else to do. After a few weeks it was still there, so I called the appointment line at the VA and scheduled my appointment. (As an Air Force vet, I had discovered in previous months that I did indeed qualify for VA health coverage.)
My VA-appointed doctor asked me the obvious questions — smoking and drinking habits, history of disease in my family (including cancer), injuries — every question one would expect a doctor to ask under the circumstances. Based upon my history, she said, it must be some sort of infection or a cyst. After prescribing a common antibiotic and three weeks or so of no reduction in the size of this curious lump, my doctor referred me to the doctors at the VA Medical Center at Mather (Sacramento), and the process began all over again. The same questions ended with the same results — it was probably a cyst. Not until a Fine Needle Aspiration (FNA) procedure was ordered and performed was there any real concern on the part of the doctors or me. After waiting a weekend for the results of the FNA, I was called in for yet another consultation. And while my newly introduced "surgeon" advised me that we were probably still dealing with a cyst, he recommended that it be removed and tested — just to be on the safe side.
I often wonder if there is a course that these guys and gals take in medical school that has them so adept at lying — with nothing but the best of intentions, of course. If it was just a cyst, why the warnings about something called Squamous Cell Carcinoma? Why talk about a radical neck dissection? Why discuss how my wounds would likely heal along the natural lines in my neck and face? And most confusing of all, why was my surgeon anxious to actually wager that he would find nothing more than a benign cyst that would take less than an hour to remove and end this soon-to-be short chapter of medical intrusion into my exceedingly boring life? In hindsight, I should have bet someone else's money that he was wrong, as I truly believed him to be prior to being put to sleep on that April 17, 2006, morning.
God was about to get my attention — I just never imagined just how terrible and wonderful His methods would be.
Editor's note: This is the first in a periodic series of stories written by Jerome Kinderman, a Lodi resident who is battling cancer.

Reader Feedback
belle102553 wrote on Jul 2, 2009 5:13 PM:
Patty "
mmelhaff wrote on Jul 1, 2009 1:33 PM:
I so can relate to you and how at your age life seemed pretty much done and the rest didn't look to hopeful either, so like I said, I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR THE REST OF YOUR STORY!!! "
weezer wrote on Jun 29, 2009 3:55 PM:
wtf wrote on Jun 29, 2009 2:59 PM:
weezer wrote on Jun 29, 2009 2:35 PM:
dogs4you wrote on Jun 29, 2009 2:31 PM:
weezer wrote on Jun 29, 2009 2:04 PM:
But it's a win-win situation for you and here's hoping you know that.
To be present in the body is to be absent from ...
And to be absent from the body is to be present with ... "
weezer wrote on Jun 29, 2009 2:02 PM:
alumn95 wrote on Jun 29, 2009 11:12 AM:
dogs4you wrote on Jun 29, 2009 10:39 AM:
No one could be so heartless as to not wish Jerome the best, not Billy or even Leonard.
I will wait for the next installment, when ever that is so don`t let us wait to long for it. "
stantaves wrote on Jun 29, 2009 8:18 AM:
wtf wrote on Jun 29, 2009 8:01 AM:
wtf wrote on Jun 29, 2009 6:59 AM:
wtf wrote on Jun 29, 2009 6:57 AM:
Mazie wrote on Jun 29, 2009 5:57 AM:
Comments on this story are now closed.