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Teach good sportsmanship in youth sports

Updated: Saturday, July 12, 2008 5:49 AM PDT
Comments (51 comment(s))

I recently had the bad experience of watching a game with your Lodi Red team against American Legion's Karl Ross of Stockton.

The Lodi team had the most unsportsmanlike kids I think I have seen in my years of attending kids baseball games. They were behind for most of the game, rude about calls that didn't go their way and threw bats and helmets.

I would say that the parents should have been ashamed of them but the parents were no better; yelling at the umpire over obvious and simple calls and telling them to do their job and "take care" of the Karl Ross kids.

In the end, the Lodi kids were screaming at the Stockton pitcher like caged animals; not cheering on their own players but yelling things like "You can't pitch. You're going to lose," and just plain shrieking. The umpire really should have put a stop to it, but since he wasn't even calling strikes, I see how that didn't happen.

In the end Lodi won 8-7, after scoring 2 runs on Stockton errors. But in my eyes, the Stockton kids were the winners when, even after that obnoxious show of poor sportsmanship, they walked straight out to shake those Lodi boys' hands. This is not major league ball, and I hope I never have to see such a display ever again.

Mary Franks
Stockton

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citizen wrote on Jul 20, 2008 7:28 PM:

" So sports guru I will assume that you didnt read what the coaches of Marys own team had to say about her? Were you at the game? You sure seem to come to alot of conclusions about everyone involved in the situation without even being there. I guess if someone unjustly called out your coaches, players, and fans as being bad kids, parents etc, you would just sit back and take it? Well I guess I am different than you and if that makes me a "butthead" then so be it. "

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WY wrote on Jul 19, 2008 10:30 PM:

" There are so many other super star sports to become involved in besides Baseball. The two worse sport I put my kids in were girls ball and boys ball. We love the sport, but the BS that you have to watch was upsetting. There are so many other things to teach the kids to do. They won't be less of a person just because they don't play ball. Who cares about ball and the snotty coaches and parents. They can all have each other. And that sucks because my kid is good, but he won't hang when it's not fun. "

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SportsGuru wrote on Jul 19, 2008 11:37 AM:

" .
As an example of my previous post below, both CITIZEN and MARY FRANKS exemplify what I am talking about.

Mary was so upset that she felt compelled to call out the other team in the local paper. It was a youth baseball game, with people behaving badly .. get over it.

Citizen has shown himself to be a smug and arrogant butthead.

This whole thing is sad, really. If you want to see REAL combat in the bleachers, go to a Morada Little League game! "

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SportsGuru wrote on Jul 19, 2008 11:34 AM:

" .
Having coached every sport over the past 20 years, I have come to the conclusion that BASEBALL PARENTS ARE THE WORST OF THEM ALL.

Why?

From my observations, many over-bearing baseball parents have kids that play only baseball (although that isn't true all the time). They have invested themselves 150% in making sure that "little Johnny is a baseball superstar" and god help anyone who tries to stand in between Johnny and his "birthright scholarship".

I once had a parent come out of the stands and onto the field during a T-BALL game. You can hardly even classify a T-Ball game as a "competition". "

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SportsGuru wrote on Jul 19, 2008 11:31 AM:

" .
The best thing you can do as a youth coach is TEACH. Too many coaches (in my opinion) are concerned with the scoreboard first - and developing young, responsible athletes last.

Yes, the source of the problem is the over-bearing parents. But there is a simple solution for that.

When a parent gets overly involved, have their son/daughter go sit next to them. When the game is over and the parent asks you "why did you send little Johnny over to sit with me?" you simply reply...

"If you want to coach him from the sidelines, then he can sit with you".

That usually puts and end to the parental nonsense, one way or the other. "

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SportsGuru wrote on Jul 19, 2008 11:29 AM:

" .
Alum95 wrote:
"If you bench a good player because of a bad attitude and your team loses it's still your fault. It's a lose lose situation."

As someone who has been around youth sports for a very long time, I would have said this differently:

"If you bench a good player because of a bad attitude, the team will suffer. But the team will also learn that perhaps they'd better take care of business with regards to the player with a bad attitude".

Its called "peer pressure" and it is one of the best ways to modify behavior in kids.

It scares me that you're this young and don't have a focus on teaching yet - winning is first for you. "

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Lodian wrote on Jul 19, 2008 12:45 AM:

" Observer: Great article and right on the money (no pun intended). "

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WY wrote on Jul 18, 2008 10:37 PM:

" My kid didn't play this year because of this very same crap. It dribbles from the parents. Our coach was brutal and in the end the kids lost and he showed the young boys his bad attitude. It cost to much money to play the game and it goes against what I was taught as a kid. I beleive my son learned bad sportsmanship from his last year coach. The parents were ashamed of him. I spent a small fortune for my kids to suit up and play. It wasn't fun... AT ALL "

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Observer wrote on Jul 17, 2008 8:17 AM:

" I ran across this article in the New York Times. Although it is not directly related to this topic I thought you might find it interesting. It's about the almighty college scholarship that so many parents believe their children will acquire. It's quite an eye opener.

Here's the link:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/10/sports/10scholarships.html?_r=1&em&ex=1205380800&en=a7d4378c9f0fa471&ei=5087%0A&oref=slogin "

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Lee wrote on Jul 16, 2008 12:10 AM:

" Is that in dog years? "

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citizen wrote on Jul 15, 2008 1:27 PM:

" 14 actually. "

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samiam wrote on Jul 14, 2008 11:16 PM:

" To Citizen: what are you, like 12? "

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Mary Franks wrote on Jul 14, 2008 7:55 PM:

" Much respect to Baseball 101. "

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baseball101 wrote on Jul 14, 2008 7:50 PM:

" To All,

I probably should have waited until I cooled down prior to writing my responses to the comments in this column. Though I stand behind what I heard and saw I met no disrespect to the Karl Ross program. The information I presented was proably as paterinaly biased as the author of the original column. Being involved as a coach in youth sports now for 10 years one of the first things you teach kids is not to show thier emotions on the field. I think emotions got the best of everybody at this intense game. What happened on the field was a hard played game of baseball. Nothing else. It's not often kids get to experience a game of this intensity and I hope all learned from it. With that said, I want to let the Karl Ross coaches and kids know it's obvious your are a well coached,talented, and professional program. I look forward to more hard played games with you.

I respectfully and sincerely tip my cap to you.


baseball 101 "

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Lodian wrote on Jul 14, 2008 4:39 PM:

" citizen: This is something that keeps coming up over and over again, so it's really not over until there is not a problem anymore. I'm not saying this in relation to this particular game, as I was not there. I'm just speaking in general. There is a big problem in youth sports. How can we fix it? "

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citizen wrote on Jul 14, 2008 3:49 PM:

" Grow up everyone.
lodi won end of story. "

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At The Game wrote on Jul 14, 2008 3:30 PM:

" You know in little league and high school ball that yelling and screaming they were doing in the pitcher's wind up would most definately not be allowed. That is like one of the fundamentals the kids learn in the minors. These umpires did not take charge and stop it pure and simple. "

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At The Game wrote on Jul 14, 2008 3:26 PM:

" Oh and one last thing... What about the Lodi parent yelling "Take care of that kid now, hey blue take care of those kids!!!" How exactly should they have been "taken care of"? Oh, yes, and then the Lodi parents asking if we brought our football equipment. What was that all about? "

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At The Game wrote on Jul 14, 2008 3:25 PM:

" And peace sign? WTph is that about? I don't even get what you are saying there. And no one said to hit the player, that is an out right lie!!! And if the ball hits the bat first anyone who is involved in baseball knows that is a foul ball even if it hits the player afterwards. "

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At The Game wrote on Jul 14, 2008 3:24 PM:

" Ok, enough lies. I was at the game and the right fielder didn't throw the bat intentionally like the Lodi kids did when they struck out. He hit the ball and it went as he went running. It was not on purpose (he is in fact going to be a jr. for the person inquireing earlier. The kid running to first base was trying to NOT colide with the first baseman who was standing in front of the base blocking it in case you don't remember that part. "

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roni95242 wrote on Jul 14, 2008 2:17 PM:

" My Husband and I coached both boys and girls baseball and softball teams.
All of our children played.
We would always say if they would just lock the parents out the kids would have a GREAT time and I still beleive this to be true!
You cannot even beleive the verbal abuse coaches and umpires have to put up with and we are volenteers! Hardly worth it!
Besides life is NOT weather you win or lose it is HOW YOU PLAY THE GAME!!!!
Get over it!! Let the kids be and let them have fun!
: ) "

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baseball101 wrote on Jul 14, 2008 2:16 PM:

" Mary,

I almost forgot wasn't it a Karl Ross player that shoved Lodi's firstbaseman with both hands at the bag with no agresive response back from him. "

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baseball101 wrote on Jul 14, 2008 2:10 PM:

" Lodian,

Yes I do but he was injured and couldn't play. "

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baseball101 wrote on Jul 14, 2008 2:09 PM:

" Mary,

I also must say it wasn't the Lodi parents waving on half of the peace sign as we left the ball park. "

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Lodian wrote on Jul 14, 2008 2:04 PM:

" baseball101: Do you have a player on the team? Just curious. "

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baseball101 wrote on Jul 14, 2008 2:04 PM:

" Mary,

Correct me if I'm wrong but wasn't it the Karl Ross right fielder who was called out for throwing the bat nearly hitting the umpire and Lodi catcher. And was this not the same player almost thrown out of the game for arguing with the umpire over his call. "

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Lodian wrote on Jul 14, 2008 2:03 PM:

" Of course I was speaking in general terms as I was not at this particular game and do not know what happened. I'm just speaking on many years of experience involved with youth sports and events throughout the country. I too would like to hear more from other parents that were at this event. "

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baseball101 wrote on Jul 14, 2008 1:57 PM:

" WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!
After reading Mary's artical I had to check the paper to make sure I hadn't picked up a tabloid. There is no way we were at the same game. Let's set the record straight, there was nothing done by our kids or parents that was out of the ordinary at any typical youth sporting event. It is of the opinion of this parent that your choice of words such as "yelling at the umpire, caged animals, and unsportsman like kids" were poor at best. Let's discuss what did spurn some excitement from our parents and kids. If you recall, the Karl Ross picture hit one of our batters with the ball in the arm that bounced off his chest and face. The umpire called the ball a strike saying the ball hit the bat first. As our coaches were discussing this call with the umpire a Karl Ross parent told our batter to "just get back in the box so we can hit you again" loud enough for all our parents and kids to here. I will continue with more in a later post. Please Lodi parents help me set the record straight. "

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Lodian wrote on Jul 14, 2008 1:02 PM:

" If the naughty little kids can't be good sports then do not allow them to play. Then maybe mommy and daddy will be forced to raise their kid with respect IF they want them to participate in youth sports in this town. "

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Lodian wrote on Jul 14, 2008 1:00 PM:

" Bry: Yes, you are absolutely correct about the parents, BUT we are talking about a sport here where the coaches and refs have the ability to kick the bad apples OUT! That is what needs to happen. I've had my fill of nut job parents at youth sporting events. If the parents aren't going to do their own job then the ADULTS in charge at these youth sport events need to take over. If the parents won't police their own kids then MAKE them regret it by not allowing the little darling to play sports. "

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Robb wrote on Jul 14, 2008 9:51 AM:

" Fix the problems with the city league then we can work on the teams "

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Bry wrote on Jul 13, 2008 10:16 PM:

" Yes, coaches should make a priority of teaching good sportsmanship, however, if the children are not learning respect at home, how do you expect them to listen to or respect their coaches. The responsibilty of teaching children respect, morals, losing and winning graciously, etc. should come from their parents and of course coaches need to support and promote such values. The problem is the parents LAS Syndrome which stems from a moral decline in America. It is now all about self with an attitude of entitlement and no accountability for bad behavior. "

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Lodian wrote on Jul 13, 2008 5:36 PM:

" alumn95: It's time the coaches go back to teaching good sportsmanship, making it a priority over winning the game. "

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alumn95 wrote on Jul 13, 2008 5:31 PM:

" I've coached youth sports in Lodi for the past 7 years. Coaches do need to teach sportsmanship, but ultimately it is the parents responsibility to teach their children to respect others. A volunteer youth coach can only do so much. If you bench a good player because of a bad attitude and your team loses it's still your fault. It's a lose lose situation. "

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Lodian wrote on Jul 13, 2008 1:57 PM:

" citizen: Where were the adults at this game? Is this just a huge difference of opinion or were the kids and parents out of control, rude and disrespectful? The ADULTS should be leading the way on how these kids should behave. Are the adults worse than the kids? I wasn't at this game, but I have sure seen my fair share of adults that should never be involved in youth sports again. "

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Lodian wrote on Jul 13, 2008 1:54 PM:

" Kids need to be pulled from the game if they behave inappropriately, but remember, they take their cues from the parents and coaches that guide the way. The problem is that some of these parents are clueless on how a child should behave while playing sports. Who is in charge here? Someone needs to take the reins. "

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Cogito wrote on Jul 13, 2008 11:14 AM:

" I had a similar experience years ago at a Lodi vs. Tracy football game at Tracy. The Lodi players were being punks on the field, the parents were yelling encouragement from the stands. A big fight broke out on the field. I tried to remind the people sitting around me that we were at an away game. They were too stupid, or caught up in the moment to care. I don't attend away games any more for that reason. "

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Bry wrote on Jul 13, 2008 3:16 AM:

" This conduct is pretty normal for most of today's youth but it is not their fault. They probably have ADD, ADHD, Autism or they have a drug dependancy or even an alcohol dependancy problem. Tough to tell but you can be certain that it is not the kid's fault. The parents probably have some of the same problems. You know there is no longer any accountability for bad behavior. But my personal opinion is that the kids don't have these disorders they're just out of control brats because the parents have LAS Syndrome. You ask what is LAS Syndrome, well it is Lazy Ass Selfminded Syndrome. Way too lazy and selfminded to get up and teach their children some of lifes lessons, i.e., patience, values, long suffering, integrity, kindness, goodness, mercy etc. But we can always blame it on something other than personal accountability! "

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LodiReaderFromStockton wrote on Jul 12, 2008 11:23 PM:

" citizen
" Hey Mary, I have an idea of how you dont have to see this again. Dont ever come back to a game against Lodi.

So citizen you are saying this is the normal way the Lodi players act huh? That's really too bad. "

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LodiReaderFromStockton wrote on Jul 12, 2008 11:01 PM:

" I don't see the original letter writer as being a sore loser, she even mentions that the loss was due to the errors of the Stockton team. I do however not agree with someone telling anyone to hit a kid. If that did happen that was uncalled for. But it is a fact that no matter what teams you have you will always have some spectator or fan a bit too brutal. It seems like both sides had at least one or two of them at this game. "

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Bob Hussein Loblaw wrote on Jul 12, 2008 10:57 PM:

" As an impartial observer, I have to say citizen you sound like a real jerk here, a poor winner, and the personification of everything Mary mentioned in her letter. Sad. "

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citizen wrote on Jul 12, 2008 9:13 PM:

" Well girard and Lodian I notice you are here? "

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girard74 wrote on Jul 12, 2008 8:39 PM:

" Lodian asked, 'Where are the adults?'

Not here, that's for sure. "

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Lodian wrote on Jul 12, 2008 7:12 PM:

" Where are the adults? "

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mhaley66 wrote on Jul 12, 2008 7:11 PM:

" Wow! I can't believe all the negativity. You people are out of control. I thought the Carl Ross team was a good team and the boys were good sports as were our Lodi boys. The fans for the Carl Ross team however, were a bit brutal. I arrived late and sat near the Carl Ross fans and heard nothing but complaining about the umpire calls. Even worse I heard one of them say for the pitcher to hit our batter. Shame on you! This is supposed to be for fun and an American favorite pass time. Come lets get over it,let the boys have fun. "

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citizen wrote on Jul 12, 2008 6:33 PM:

" O Mary its too bad that you are taking the loss so bad I really thought your guys were really good sports about a very tough loss. They all seem like really good kids. "

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citizen wrote on Jul 12, 2008 6:30 PM:

" Well Mary the team that you lost to Thursday night was the exact same team you lost to the first time. Our B team does not have a player over the age of 16 and even has one 14 year old starter. We all know you complained to the league about our so called "illegal" players. Yea some of our kids play "up" when the A team is short, but what exactly does that have to do with anything? O by the way what grade is your right fielder and short stop going into? Dont bother answering I already know the answer. "

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Mary Franks wrote on Jul 12, 2008 5:15 PM:

" Thank you so much citizen for proving my point. What my letter failed to mention was the first time our boys playee the red team they had to have their A team boys there to play us. Why? Weren't the B team players enough? Too bad the A team kids had their own game that night and couldn't be there. I'm assuming when the A team joins you that the B team kids mentioned in my letter sat the bench. That doesn't say much for the confidence in that team does it now? Again, I never denied we blew it on errors, it's in my letter. But our kids were still the better players as they didn't have the awful attitude the red team did. Our kids did not hesitate to go on that field and shake hands after the game and being treated so badly. So yes, your comments prove my point. Thanks again. "

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radone wrote on Jul 12, 2008 4:07 PM:

" this happens at almost every Lodi Youth Baseball game,the coaches need to be changed and bring in someone who can control these kids.I know because I coached in Lodi for 15 years at every level and the kids in Lodi are pathetic.I now coach in Chicago and am much happier. "

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citizen wrote on Jul 12, 2008 3:29 PM:

" Hey Mary, I have an idea of how you dont have to see this again. Dont ever come back to a game against Lodi. Your boys are good players too bad you are such a poor sport. "

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dogbark wrote on Jul 12, 2008 11:18 AM:

" what do you expect, when the Lodi Legion drops support of Boy Scouts and their youth programs in favor of continuing to field a "winning" baseball team. They have always had far more parents willing to cheer and jeer baseball than volunteer to lead their scout troop. "

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