Could Toledo, Ohio, hold the answer to our prison overcrowding woes?

Jail overcrowding is not only a problem in San Joaquin County, but throughout the state.

It seems as if our greatest legal minds are stuck in a groove like an old 45 RPM record. It goes around and around, repeating the same answer: "release the prisoners, release the prisoners ... ."

So we release them, and most just keep coming right back after victimizing more innocent citizens. Is this any way to run a criminal justice system? If those in charge would just be a little more creative, the solutions to the problem are endless. Here are just a few examples:

The state should buy up cheap fleabag motels: Why hasn't anyone thought of this one before? Most of these places are full of people who have warrants and are on the run.

Think of the money that would be saved by simply putting a fence around existing establishments while customers sleep. We'd save fortunes on prison construction, as well as fugitive recapturing costs.

Use high-rise hotels in Flint, Michigan or Toledo, Ohio: Why build new prisons when these mostly empty hotels are just waiting for someone to come along and pay 10 cents on the dollar? True, we would have prisoner transportation costs from California, but these would be minimal as compared to the price of building new prisons. Security at these hotels would be a cinch, as snipers could simply pick off anyone hanging bed sheets from a 13th floor window.

Parole prisoners to other countries: Hey, it's not like they haven't sent us plenty of THEIR prisoners! Isn't it only fair that we return the favor? There would be many advantages to the parolees as well. In most places, gas is cheaper, health care is free and there is plenty of opportunity to begin an export pharmaceutical business.

Employ parolees in government jobs: This might sound a little bizarre at first, but think of all the jobs they could do where no one cares about the results. There's the director of fast window service at the post office or a citizen advocate at the IRS. There's also junket approval administrator at a large school district or a person who sends e-mail replies from Congress. You know, it's that tag that reads: "Thank you for your input. Your opinion is really important to us."

Encourage family life in prison: Statistics show that people with close family ties are less likely to be repeat offenders. Now that gay marriage is legal in California, we should encourage these unions in the big house. This will cut down on prison violence, soften cell relationships and improve Social Security benefits when inmates are released.

Spend money on education, not jails: Statistics also show that people with higher education are less likely to commit crimes (unless of course, they are child predators, Unabombers or '60s college professors.) Mail order degrees for the motivated in rotary phone or vacuum tube television repair should be paid in full by the state. Formal education is by far, our best investment. It teaches the stupidity of pulling bank stickups for $800 when one can be a hedge fund manager for $800 million.

So as you can plainly see, some out-of-the-box thinking on the part of our decision-makers could make huge differences — not only in costs to taxpayers, but also in reducing chronic recidivism rates of antisocial personalities.

Now the only question is: Do we keep that old record grinding in the groove, or do we move our ancient penal system toward the advanced world of MP3 and iTunes?

Only our politicians know for sure.

Steve Hansen is a Lodi writer and satirist.