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Pondering McCain
Will he drive a Buick in the fast lane going 45 mph?
Thursday, June 19, 2008 6:28 AM PDT
There are several reasons why some people think John McCain should not be our next president. Here are just a few.
Birthplace: First of all, the Republican candidate was not born on the mainland. His birthplace was in Panama. The last time I looked, Panama was not one of our 58 states — at least not yet anyway. Does McCain get to run for "prez" because the constitutional term, "natural born" means: "no C-section?"
Education: Secondly, the senator from Arizona did not graduate from an Ivy League school, as all presidential candidates should. Instead, he graduated from the chauvinistic U.S. Naval Academy at a time when women were not acceptable. Therefore, it's doubtful he would ever be able to relate to college-age feminists since he did not participate in panty raids, go to Friday night toga parties or sneak into a sorority house with a keg of beer.
War record: There is no doubt that John McCain is a war hero. Today however, teachers are trying to set good examples for children. They want kids to resolve their differences by peaceful means. What's going to happen when little Joey gets suspended for fighting? He might argue: "Hey, if it was good enough for the president, it's good enough for me!"
A failed negotiator: During the war, McCain was captured by the North Vietnamese. He was repeatedly beaten and tortured by his captors. If he had the skills to speak to his enemies without preconditions, he might have received more favorable treatment. Perhaps he could have arranged a cultural exchange between Jane Fonda and Ho Chi Minh. Uncle Ho would have looked great sitting on one of our guns.
Lack of activism: Despite his poor negotiating skills, McCain still won several highly acclaimed medals such as the Silver Star, Legion of Merit, Bronze Star and the Distinguished Flying Cross. Obviously, these awards were not put to good use. If he really were presidential material, he would have thrown them away in an antiwar demonstration. After that, McCain should have accused his military brothers of razing villages in a fashion reminiscent of Genghis Khan.
Collaborating with the enemy: The Arizona senator has been known to rub shoulders with America's greatest enemies: the Democrats. He has actually co-sponsored legislation with such questionable characters as Ted Kennedy, Russ Feingold and Joe Lieberman. The later, no longer a Democrat, may actually be a double agent — giving Republican secrets to our country's most feared congressional foes.
Temper: The Republican candidate is supposed to have quite a temper. This could be dangerous for a president who will have his hand on the nuclear trigger. You all know what happened when Tony Soprano got mad at Ralphie for killing his racehorse!
Age: Last but not least, if McCain gets elected, he'll be the oldest president in U.S. history. Now I have nothing against old people. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty old myself. But do we want a president who tells stories that go nowhere, who can't remember why he walked into a room and who drives his Buick in the fast lane at 45 MPH?
The American people have a tough decision ahead of them. To find a candidate with proven courage, who understands the pain of human suffering and who has a track record of working with people from different points of view, are not easy tasks. But two out of three qualifications aren't bad.
So how about we write in Jerry Springer?
Steve Hansen is a Lodi writer and satirist.
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Lodian wrote on Jun 27, 2008 12:28 AM:
papercut wrote on Jun 25, 2008 1:42 PM:
papercut wrote on Jun 25, 2008 1:37 PM:
sam wrote on Jun 25, 2008 8:30 AM:
Brian wrote on Jun 25, 2008 7:58 AM:
" papercut, I apologize. I just saw a video where McCain said the assassination of Benazir Bhutto benefited his campaign.
Not cool. "
Sam, did you check the context of this
comment by McCain?
Given you just blurted it out one could conclude you think John McCain was celebrating Bhutto's assassination.
Real Classy. "
papercut wrote on Jun 24, 2008 9:48 PM:
cain fan, and while everyone is so busy slamming Obama, which I feel he has coming, the real hidden truths about McCain are slowly unraveling and are going to be his downfall in the end. Neither of these candidates will qualify for my vote. I choose this election not to vote for a presidential candidate as my way of protesting what politics have done to this once great and respected country. "
sam wrote on Jun 24, 2008 5:10 PM:
Not cool. "
sam wrote on Jun 24, 2008 4:51 PM:
Wrong thing to say, but it is probably true. AND McCain did not say it. I think it was a honest gaffe. "
papercut wrote on Jun 24, 2008 2:58 PM:
dyan wrote on Jun 24, 2008 12:17 PM:
papercut wrote on Jun 24, 2008 10:21 AM:
dyan wrote on Jun 24, 2008 7:19 AM:
Then we wonder why kids are reluctant to serve when our own senators trash and lie about our soldiers deeds? "
dyan wrote on Jun 24, 2008 7:13 AM:
Lodian wrote on Jun 23, 2008 6:57 PM:
" Liberals crack me up "
That's because you are a crackpot. LOL "
Leonard wrote on Jun 23, 2008 6:36 PM:
Does McCain have some hidden sin to which only you and your swiftboating friends are privy? "
Leonard wrote on Jun 23, 2008 6:29 PM:
dyan wrote on Jun 23, 2008 4:02 PM:
papercut wrote on Jun 23, 2008 3:57 PM:
OTH wrote on Jun 23, 2008 2:38 PM:
Leonard wrote on Jun 23, 2008 2:33 PM:
I think that says something very very sad about our country. "
Leonard wrote on Jun 23, 2008 2:21 PM:
In closing, I would only remind you that the same Bush Backers who swiftboated Kerrey in 2004 also smeared McCain in the 2000 South Carolina primary when they claimed that his experience as a POW had left him unfit for the Presidency.
These individuals have neither honor nor decency. "
Gator wrote on Jun 23, 2008 11:20 AM:
time and the other is the Swift Boat Sailors. I came of age at the start of
Vietnam and spent 4 years in the Navy Gulf of Tonkin member so my problem is with the folks who believe Hanoi John his folks did every thing in their power to smear the Swifties, well not only did the Swift Boat
Navy have a problem with Captain America so did the US Army Riverine
force and they called him a bald faced liar. As for the Guard and Army reserve lots of folks cap on Bush and Cheney for lack of service well here
is a little FYI a friend of mines father got him into the Army reserve when
enlistment was closed, guys were having kids and getting collage deferments as fast as they could, all these kids were working class not
rich or well connected. One more item there is a lot of B/S flying around
About McCains Records Ck. this out http://www.boston.com/news/nation/articles/2008/05/07/navy_releases_mccains_military_record/ "
Cogito wrote on Jun 23, 2008 9:25 AM:
dyan wrote on Jun 23, 2008 6:58 AM:
Cogito wrote on Jun 22, 2008 10:05 PM:
OTH wrote on Jun 22, 2008 6:44 PM:
girard74 wrote on Jun 22, 2008 4:00 PM:
and arrange to have it delivered free to your e-mail address.
Enjoy some more! "
girard74 wrote on Jun 22, 2008 3:57 PM:
Enjoy! "
OTH wrote on Jun 22, 2008 3:42 PM:
I did not realize Opus was available on line. I was so disappointed when the Srkn Rec stopped carrying the strip.
Sunday mornings haven't been the same as I have to read my coffee without my favorite funny.
Yes, I love Opus and all his goings on. "
voter wrote on Jun 22, 2008 2:09 PM:
dyan wrote on Jun 22, 2008 2:02 PM:
girard74 wrote on Jun 22, 2008 1:21 PM:
girard74 wrote on Jun 22, 2008 12:41 PM:
OTH wrote on Jun 22, 2008 12:26 PM:
I agree. IMHO I'm not sure we will ever find one without a wart of some kind. Or if you follow Opus and his Anxiety Closet, there's always something there waiting for someone to find it. "
girard74 wrote on Jun 22, 2008 11:18 AM:
I suspect that this sentence rolled off of your fingers through the keyboard to the 'Comments' form with extreme ease. Well said. "
girard74 wrote on Jun 22, 2008 11:16 AM:
As we have learned, anyone's prior vocation has had little to do with their success as a president. While John Glenn never became president, it was because of his fame as the first American to orbit the earth that ensured him a senate seat. Yet, he 'chose' to take the risk of riding a rocket into space; his courage has never been in question.
Reagan, on the other hand proved without a doubt that actors can accomplish much more than simply pretending to be someone else. Even his harshest critics don't deny that he was a superb leader and visionary. His ability to speak could be attributed to the many 'B' movies he starred in, although I suspect that he became an actor because of his oratory abilities and obvious good looks (hardly reasons to vote 'for' anyone).
But as I stated just awhile ago, for me the only qualities that matter in any candidate are those that define 'who' and 'what' he/she is; we have yet to find any potential president who has never made a mistake. "
Leonard wrote on Jun 22, 2008 11:14 AM:
What sort of message does this send to our young heroes in Iraq and Afghanistan? Will their actions in the current conflict, no matter how selfless or heroic, become targets for future generations of swiftboating scum?
If this is really the way that these people feel about military service, the least they could do is have the cajones to spit on the veterans in person.
Of course, that would involve a level of personal danger that these cankerous sores on the collective rectum of humanity would never tolerate. "
girard74 wrote on Jun 22, 2008 10:46 AM:
The only qualities that I look to in any presidential candidate are character, integrity and sense of judgment. Since the Constitution's only limitations regard citizenship and age, I find it disingenuous for anyone to suggest that only those with 'experience' are entitled to become the President. By the way, 'Hope' and 'Change' may be clever hooks for a candidate lacking in other qualities, but in the final analysis those ideas won't secure the election. "
girard74 wrote on Jun 22, 2008 10:43 AM:
girard74 wrote on Jun 22, 2008 10:07 AM:
girard74 wrote on Jun 22, 2008 9:41 AM:
OTH wrote on Jun 22, 2008 8:50 AM:
good morning. I'm curious. Is it by reasoning that John Mc Cain is fit to be president because he was a war hero? John Glenn because he flew in space? Ronald Reagun because he was an actor?
What makes people fit to hold the highest office in the land? Is there a set of criteria somewhere that each party trots out? Or is it just old fashioned "big bucks?" "
Leonard wrote on Jun 22, 2008 8:04 AM:
Leonard, given the evidence that John Kerry has nowhere near the character of
John McCain
nor has the best interest of this country in mind he deserved to be swift boated.
I agree with John McCain that swiftboating is a despicable act practiced by unconscionable scum.
If you desire to throw your lot in with that scum, so be it. "
Brian wrote on Jun 22, 2008 7:58 AM:
his reluctance to release this is quite revealing. "
Brian wrote on Jun 22, 2008 7:55 AM:
Leonard, given the evidence that John Kerry has nowhere near the character of
John McCain
nor has the best interest of this country in mind he deserved to be swift boated.
So, let them swift boat John McCain too.
He may deserve to be swift boated only in the context that the left is still angry and frustrated that they don't have a man of this character on their side. There is no other reason the left has to swiftboat McCain, in my view. "
Gator wrote on Jun 21, 2008 10:08 PM:
election nor will the ever get over the
Swift Boat Sailors.The Swifties had it
nailed, Kerry was,is a 2-bit Traitor
period.All he had to do was release his
DD1080 which he still hasn't done because he knows the truth will come out
3-purple hearts with no blood!!! "
girard74 wrote on Jun 21, 2008 9:48 PM:
girard74 wrote on Jun 21, 2008 9:44 PM:
Yeah, I'm sure this is a very objective website. I'll hurry right over to have my eyes opened by their reasonable and fact-based information. Do they also have a link to swiftboatershatekerry.com?
Thankfully most reasonably intelligent people accept John McCain for the war hero that he is, in spite of his politics. One doesn't need to believe the garbage that is spread about his military record in order to disagree with his stand on different issues.
I believe that Kerry was bad for America and I was relieved when he lost the election, but I never bought the far-right fringe rhetoric regarding his service record. As a former military member myself, and lucky enough not to have had to face war-time challenges, I respect anyone who leaves the service with an honorable discharge. "
dyan wrote on Jun 21, 2008 9:37 PM:
edumacation wrote on Jun 21, 2008 6:12 PM:
edumacation wrote on Jun 21, 2008 6:03 PM:
papercut wrote on Jun 21, 2008 3:57 PM:
papercut wrote on Jun 21, 2008 3:54 PM:
papercut wrote on Jun 21, 2008 3:53 PM:
oldguy wrote on Jun 21, 2008 2:20 PM:
girard74 wrote on Jun 21, 2008 12:19 PM:
The LNS has indicated that there is no 'girard' registered on their forum. Therefore in order for me to be able to pull off such a feat I would need to have access to their system through some sort of 'back door' wouldn't I?
So if I were that bright and/or diabolical, do you think I would limit my activities to simply repeating my own words under such an easily identifiable name? For someone who has as little respect for me (and others) you sure do give me a lot of credit.
No, I'm not doing that. And you accusing me of doing so only further reveals your immaturity and lack of integrity. Even my most ardent detractors try to think things through before posting drivel such as what you offer.
Yet you haven't quite answered my question - what other 'names' (that's plural just as you insist) have I used? You think I'm 'girard,' but who else do you believe me to be? "
Leonard wrote on Jun 21, 2008 12:09 PM:
How can you even try to compare ;McCain with Swift Boat Kerry as being a war hero.
Chuckle... I like the way this guy both celebrates the shameful swiftboating of Kerrey while admonishing those who use similar tactics against McCain.
I don't care how old you are you can't have it both ways. Either these shameful practices are wrong or they are right.
I, for one, say they are wrong, no matter which party employs them. "
girard74 wrote on Jun 21, 2008 10:53 AM:
The LNS has indicated that there is no 'girard' registered on their forum. Therefore in order for me to be able to pull off such a feat I would need to have access to their system through some sort of 'back door' wouldn't I?
So if I were that bright and/or diabolical, do you think I would limit my activities to simply repeating my own words under such an easily identifiable name? For someone who has as little respect for me (and others) you sure do give me a lot of credit.
No, I'm not doing that. And you accusing me of doing so only further reveals your immaturity and lack of integrity. Even my most ardent detractors try to think things through before posting drivel such as what you offer.
Yet you haven't quite answered my question - what other 'names' (that's plural just as you insist) have I used? You think I'm 'girard,' but who else do you believe me to be? "
papercut wrote on Jun 21, 2008 10:45 AM:
wysiwyg wrote on Jun 21, 2008 10:43 AM:
Well, I'm happy that I did such a foolish thing now. I'm not too involved as wysiwyg that I can't retire it immediately. "
papercut wrote on Jun 21, 2008 10:43 AM:
papercut wrote on Jun 21, 2008 10:41 AM:
papercut wrote on Jun 21, 2008 10:40 AM:
papercut wrote on Jun 21, 2008 10:38 AM:
wysiwyg wrote on Jun 21, 2008 10:27 AM:
Of course while none of us are under any obligation here to discuss anything, I do find it interesting that you completely ignored my response to your June 20th post. I am also curious about something else, does your screen name indicate the institution where you may have attended as a student or are you perhaps employed at that esteemed university pushing a broom? By your comments it isnt clear which makes more sense. "
dyan wrote on Jun 21, 2008 9:14 AM:
A matter of opinion, wouldn't you say? "
Stanford Man wrote on Jun 21, 2008 9:08 AM:
respite? If the shoe fits, wear it. "
Brian wrote on Jun 21, 2008 8:27 AM:
This is a very good article in light of the election and the price of oil. "
oldguy wrote on Jun 21, 2008 1:40 AM:
girard74 wrote on Jun 20, 2008 11:54 PM:
So is that how this works? A contributor to the newspaper is touted as a 'Lodi writer and satirist' and unless one believes him to be funny and a good writer they must somehow be 'foolish.' Well, now that I know I suppose I should wait upon the 'contemplative' ones among us to state their opinions before even considering my own thoughts. Yeah, that sounds like a great idea!
The idea that others may have differing opinions about the style, content and/or level of humor put forth by any writer is no longer valid? That's funny because I was led to believe that I should form my own judgment based upon what I actually read. My opinion of Hansen's work is that more often than not he is not funny, especially when it is apparent that he is desperately trying to be. This particular offering, IMHO is more insulting than thought-provoking.
Also, he should learn to proof-read his work before submission. The 'editors' at the LNS obviously don't have the time to do it for him. "
girard74 wrote on Jun 20, 2008 10:54 PM:
Okay big guy - put up or shut up. Under what other blog names have I used? When? Where? "
Cogito wrote on Jun 20, 2008 10:28 PM:
Cogito wrote on Jun 20, 2008 10:26 PM:
dyan wrote on Jun 20, 2008 9:26 PM:
peppier2 wrote on Jun 20, 2008 8:54 PM:
papercut wrote on Jun 20, 2008 8:11 PM:
girard74 wrote on Jun 20, 2008 6:49 PM:
I also enjoy your offerings as they certainly add to the discussion rather than detract from it. "
Cogito wrote on Jun 20, 2008 6:38 PM:
Cogito wrote on Jun 20, 2008 5:44 PM:
girard74 wrote on Jun 20, 2008 4:47 PM:
I find it interesting when people cannot accept another's opinion of something they refer to it in the context of 'hate.' I never stated that I hate anything at all about Mr. Hansen. I merely have stated my opinion about what he writes and how he writes it. The idea that I have been hateful in this regard is ludicrous, whether or not it makes perfect sense to you. "
girard74 wrote on Jun 20, 2008 4:44 PM:
I have already established a new identity here and elsewhere and as far as anyone knows I may have already begun to share my opinions under that name. Good luck everyone and thanks! "
girard74 wrote on Jun 20, 2008 11:49 AM:
I have already established a new identity here and elsewhere and as far as anyone knows I may have already begun to share my opinions under that name. Good luck everyone and thanks! "
dyan wrote on Jun 20, 2008 11:43 AM:
girard74 wrote on Jun 20, 2008 11:36 AM:
You've got that right - there are indeed many 'muppets' in this audience. I do remember, however that those two old guys in the balcony often made very good sense. "
girard74 wrote on Jun 20, 2008 11:00 AM:
You've got that right - there are indeed many 'muppets' in this audience. I do remember, however that those two old guys in the balcony often made very good sense. "
Stanford Man wrote on Jun 20, 2008 10:16 AM:
contemplative. "
dyan wrote on Jun 20, 2008 7:02 AM:
girard74 wrote on Jun 19, 2008 10:13 PM:
commonsense1 wrote on Jun 19, 2008 9:23 PM:
girard74 wrote on Jun 19, 2008 9:00 PM:
papercut wrote on Jun 19, 2008 8:52 PM:
papercut wrote on Jun 19, 2008 8:50 PM:
girard74 wrote on Jun 19, 2008 8:10 PM:
girard74 wrote on Jun 19, 2008 7:31 PM:
girard74 wrote on Jun 19, 2008 7:30 PM:
oldguy wrote on Jun 19, 2008 7:24 PM:
girard74 wrote on Jun 19, 2008 7:00 PM:
Also, I will continue to comment on his and others offerings because I have a constitutional right to do so and because I want to. "
dyan wrote on Jun 19, 2008 5:15 PM:
girard74 wrote on Jun 19, 2008 4:54 PM:
papercut wrote on Jun 19, 2008 3:39 PM:
oldguy wrote on Jun 19, 2008 2:36 PM:
dyan wrote on Jun 19, 2008 1:19 PM:
oldguy wrote on Jun 19, 2008 11:16 AM:
Comments on this story are now closed.