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Lodi father's nightmare:

The night his daughter nearly died from alcohol poisoning


Thursday, May 10, 2007 7:00 AM PDT

Comments (177 comment(s))

This letter was written by the father of a 13-year-old Lodi girl who nearly died of alcohol poisoning recently near the downtown movie theater. He is hopeful that, by sharing his account, more attention will be given to the issue of teen drinking. We are honoring his request for anonymity to protect his daughter.

On Friday, May 4, I received a life-changing phone call.

It was the Lodi police department informing me that my daughter had been found unconscious in an alley and apparently had had a considerable amount to drink. She was being transported to Lodi Memorial Hospital and I was to meet them there. Surely, this was some type of prank call. After all, I had dropped my daughter off at the movies only two hours before. But the more the officer talked the more I knew this was serious and it was real.

There was nothing I had done in life prior to the moment the ambulance had arrived that could have prepared me for what I saw. There on that gurney lay my precious 13-year-old daughter. She was not moving, her eyes were closed.

After some time of evaluation, the attending physician informed me that she was completely unresponsive to pain stimuli, and had no gag reflex and this would be cause for grave concern as she would not be able to aspirate if she were to regurgitate. She could literally drown. He then told me she was in critical condition.

To my knowledge this was the first time my daughter had consumed alcohol and now here he is telling me that this is not simply a case of too much to drink, she is actually in grave danger and her life is at risk.

It was all I could do to remain standing. This was not happening. Surely I must have slipped into a nightmare and was going to wake up at any moment.

As time went on, the doctor continued to update me with test results and I began to feel hope that she was going to make it. Friends and family had arrived at the hospital for support and comfort and everyone was there with her in their hearts.

Ultimately, she had to be transferred to Sacramento as Lodi Memorial is not equipped to deal with Pediatric ICU. The last couple days have been very trying on friends and family and I am pleased to report that my daughter is going to be fine and will return to school this week. Today she even told me that she was going to go to school and hug her least favorite teacher.

You see, the attending physician told me that he was 100 percent confident, no doubt, that had Officer Schlagel, the bicycle patrol officer, not ridden down that alley to respond to a tip of juvenile drinking, that my daughter would have expired on the spot within another hour.

When I told my daughter about this and we talked about what happened, she broke down. She doesn't want to die; she wants to live. She had no idea whatsoever about the effects of alcohol and how little it took. Unfortunately, she had way more than a little.

That night, she was not alone in her drinking. The alcohol came from somewhere and those that were drinking thought they were going to have some fun. I have had the chance to talk to several of the others that were involved that night and I only asked that they all take something positive out of the experience and spread the news.

I am opening my heart to share this painful story for a reason. I have been under the impression that downtown movie nights on Friday was an innocent activity. It has been a subject of controversy in the community.

Now I have experienced why. It appears that this once-thought-to-be innocent activity is not so innocent after all. And it will probably be a long time before my daughter will be able to participate again. I consider the officer that intervened that night as a hero. Literally, he saved my daughter's life. He has called me twice to check on how she is doing. He has been both compassionate and professional and takes the job of Protecting and Serving very seriously. But he is also outmanned out there. As a community, we need to address this problem. I don't know what the solution is. Approving more police officers to patrol the streets, stricter curfews, creating no occupancy zones downtown, more parental involvement, optional activities for youth, or something else.

But something needs to change.

Additionally, I would like to commend the Emergency Room staff at Lodi Memorial led by Dr. Rabey. They worked quickly, decisively, and always made sure we were kept updated. Their efforts and the team of Pediatric ICU Specialists from Santa Clara that transported her from Lodi to Sacramento gave us another chance with our daughter.

I talk openly with my daughter about drugs and alcohol in the schools and thought I had a pretty good handle on what was going on with her. It appears that they don't tell us everything.

If I could pass anything on from this experience, I would say hug your child a little harder, ask a few more questions, know their friends better, or simply help them make smarter choices.

Reader Feedback

Lodian wrote on May 25, 2007 1:58 PM:

" I think the wisest thing for this family to do is get counseling, not read and take to heart anonymous blog entries from God knows who. They need to take this very seriously and come together as a family right now. "

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to Tim Spagnola wrote on May 24, 2007 12:33 AM:

" Stop giving parenting advice. Shouldn't you be watching your kids right now? Where are they? You don't know, do you? Get off your high horse and see that "a church youth group" is not all full of kids that are angels. That is fallacy. You have no right to tell this parent a thing. You are a mindless blip on a blog. Who would listen to such advice from a stranger on a blog rambling on (YELLING) about how to be a good parent. Go keep your kids away from everyone else and leave the people of Lodi alone. "

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sam wrote on May 23, 2007 6:09 PM:

" to To father... great posts. "

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To father of daughter about letter! wrote on May 23, 2007 5:32 PM:

" Yes its sounds like you are saying this happened because of downtown! (DEFLECTING THE BLAME) you are in denial, you believe you did nothing wrong. Why dont you grow up and accept responsibility for your daughters actions. Why blame downtown! SOMETHING NEEDS TO CHANGE ALL RIGHT, YOU NEED TO BE A RESPONSIBLE PARENT AND QUIT BLAMMING EVERYTHING ELSE, AND START TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR DAUGHTER! RESPONSIBLE PARENTING! THERE ARE PLENTY OF BOOKS AND ORGANIZATIONS THAT CAN HELP! SEE COMMENTS #1-4 "

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To Father of Daughter #4 wrote on May 23, 2007 5:15 PM:

" People are going to respond to this and say, "churchs think for you", "this guy is punishing his kids" "Kids need to grow, they need freedom". AND THESE ARE STATEMENTS FROM LAZY PARENTS WHO WILL NOT ACCEPT THEIR ROLE AS RESPONSIBLE PARENTS. And you FATHER JUST REMEMBER! KIDS NEED PROTECTION FROM THEMSELVES, AND PARENTS NEED TO BE IN THE CENTER OF THEIR KIDS WORLD! KIDS WANT BOUNDERIES AND DICIPLINE! "

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To Father of daughter #3 wrote on May 23, 2007 5:13 PM:

" Just remember, kids need protection from themselves. If you really love your daughter you will make her the center of your life. I go with mine to every movie, I might sit a row or 2 away, but I am there!. There will be time for spending time with the guys when your kids are grown! "

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To Father of daughter #3 wrote on May 23, 2007 5:00 PM:

" This situation should not have happened, and yes it is your fault for allowing her to make these kind of unsupervised decisions. Accept responsibilty, and dont listen to these nuts here that say: I let my kids have myspace, I let them go to the movies alone. They need freedom? These kind of parenting decisions are lazy. Get your daughter into a church youth group! "

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To Father of daughter #2 wrote on May 23, 2007 4:57 PM:

" Its time to forget about anythings you do outside of your family. Your family should be the center of your life. I have 5 kids and all are growing up safe. I am saying this works well, my way! I have 2 daughter 10 & 15, and 3 boys 21, 23, 25. they all make good choices and I knew and know every friend they have. "

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To father of daughter wrote on May 23, 2007 4:53 PM:

" Listen carefully, you have been given a second chance. You are lucky. Now it is time to be a parent and not a host in a body that looks like her dad. You need to control who she is friends with, and never let her go anywhere unless adult supervision is there. Kids want to be protected from themselves! You cannot think just because she is 13 that she will make mature decisions. "

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Lodian wrote on May 23, 2007 3:05 PM:

" enough is enough: It's interesting that you ask me to stop blogging with the name Lodian, but you have not addressed the other posters, that use the name Lodian to try and annoy. Why is that? Sorry, your request is denied. "

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Lodian wrote on May 23, 2007 3:02 PM:

" enough is enough: Why? "

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enough is enough wrote on May 23, 2007 11:52 AM:

" Lodian please change your blog name. its interesting, you want everone else to change like LNS, webmaster, other posters you "claim" are your imposter, and you are not willing to do the most obvious thing, and thats change your handle. "

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Lodian wrote on May 23, 2007 9:44 AM:

" to "to lodian": I agree, but there is a line of respect that normal people would draw in a case like this. Obviously the old blog turned into something the LNS decided should be removed so why let this blog go into the dumpster all over again? I don't control; the blogs, LNS or any decisions made in this crazy world of posting on these blogs. If you have an issue then speak to the LNS/webmaster, not me. "

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Lodian wrote on May 23, 2007 9:41 AM:

" Lodian: You've been here for that long? I didn't realize your imposter posts have been going on that long. LOL! "

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to lodian wrote on May 22, 2007 5:47 PM:

" Its called freedom of speech, even though their opinion is different than yours. "

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Lodian wrote on May 22, 2007 4:53 PM:

" I don't see why LNS should change the blogs. If you can't take my heat...get out. Afterall, I've been a regular here for over a year now, I deserve that respect. "

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the Lns was generous wrote on May 22, 2007 3:48 PM:

" enough to wipe out a whole blog of honest comments that this father and other parents might have benefitted from hearing. Now you want the webmaster to control the opinions of the posters on this blog to? I dont think so jody. "

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to parents on patrol wrote on May 22, 2007 3:42 PM:

" yeah, jody and other clueless parents really should go do something constructive like get involved in a program to teach them how to become good parents. "

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to jody wrote on May 22, 2007 3:40 PM:

" dont blame the webmaster for your crap! "

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Parents on Patrol wrote on May 22, 2007 12:37 PM:

" There is a program called "Parents on Patrol" which other downtown areas have implemented very successfully. Perhaps this parent & others might want to look into it. It was presented to the DLBP board by their ED in 2004 for consideration, but they weren't interested. It can help in areas like this were law enforcement officers are tapped out. Search the web for more info. Good luck. "

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to webmaster wrote on May 22, 2007 11:07 AM:

" How much of a joke are you going to let this blog become? What is wrong here? Is this respectful of the father that wrote this letter? Are you respecting your public by allowing this sort of thing? These blogs, unfortunately, are starting to become a joke far a wide. Is that the reputation you'd like to have? I expect more from my local paper. "

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To Jody wrote on May 22, 2007 9:05 AM:

" Stop all the Lodian confusion and just post under your real name. We all know who you are anyway "

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Lodian wrote on May 21, 2007 4:20 PM:

" Webmaster, I don't know what's going on, but the 7:08p.m. post is obviously some whacko who posted under my name "Lodian" and is trying to convince others. Enough is enough.... "

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Lodian wrote on May 21, 2007 9:37 AM:

" I wonder if the young lady here would ever be interested in speaking to other teenagers about her experience and the bad choice to drink. I sure hope so as it would be another helful tool to try and get through to teens that think drinking is cool. "

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who is wrote on May 20, 2007 11:00 PM:

" Jody??? "

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Lodian wrote on May 20, 2007 12:06 PM:

" I am the one and only Lodian! Imposters leave!! Only I, Jody, am worthy of the name Lodian. "

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Lodian wrote on May 18, 2007 7:08 PM:

" webmaster: Are you going to let this blog turn into garbage again with these petty fake lodian posts? I only posted the 10:32am post. The rest are posted by someone wanting to start trouble again. You cleaned up this blog once. Please do it again. "

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Lodian wrote on May 18, 2007 5:48 PM:

" I can read the anger in your eyes. "

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Lodian wrote on May 18, 2007 4:59 PM:

" But then again, I still support the choice of dropping your kids off downtown and letting them run wild. "

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Lodian wrote on May 18, 2007 2:40 PM:

" Cont...I'll try not to poison the minds of others and personally bash or attack others on here anymore. Especially the parents that have moral values and keep their kids in check. I'll try my hardest too, to respect other's opinions, although I may not agree. (Without lashing out) "

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Lodian wrote on May 18, 2007 11:11 AM:

" This could have happened to any of us. Raising children that have strong wills and children of substance are going to test the limits. "

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Lodian wrote on May 18, 2007 10:32 AM:

" What a generous thing to do in writing this letter at such a rough time for your family. Thank you, Lodi father. Best wishes to your daughter and family. "

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Just an observation wrote on May 17, 2007 11:53 PM:

" I happened upon this heart felt story that was shared with us only to read the first few comments that are no more than a verbal attack on each other. It amazes me that they would choose this forum to abuse each other. Come on people show some class. If you insist I'm sure you can find you own vacant alley. It appears to me the authors intent is to draw attention to a serious problem and to search for positive solutions to impact our kids and our city. "

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to to Lodian wrote on May 17, 2007 10:50 PM:

" what the hell are you talking about? your the one that makes every blog into your own pissing match. shutup for once. "

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hellooo wrote on May 17, 2007 9:38 PM:

" I have to commend this mom Saturday when I went to see Spiderman (yes with my pre-teen)…she was taking her son about 13 and 3 of his friends. She gave him the money and they went in before her,she also went to see the show and sat by herself while her son and his friends sat away from her and he/they got their independence…I’m sure she would of rather seen something else or at least not alone, but Yet, that is what Parenting is…putting your wants aside so your kids are safe!!!! "

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helloooooo wrote on May 17, 2007 9:16 PM:

" Parents need to take more responsibility.... We have to PARENT!!! What does that mean?? 1) Know where, when, and who your children are with. 2) Know their parent(s) 3) Don’t let them dress like streetwalkers 4)watch them like a hawk 5) teach them respect 6) buy them clothes that don’t hang off their @$$... True you cannot be there 24/7…but if you instill enough morals early on, you will not worry leaving them for a few hours…. Put down your ipods and back away from the TV long enough & find out who your kids are.... "

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Lodian wrote on May 17, 2007 7:23 PM:

" Seeing that I didn't recieve my cucumber yet by priority mail, I'll just continue to ramble on here, if that's okay with everyone else! In highschool, they used to call me "Loser" because I was a nerd...I just can't help getting into people's business, as I never made any friends. "

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To Lodian wrote on May 17, 2007 3:42 PM:

" You've taken this situation to a whole new level this time. Please stop!! "

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Lodian wrote on May 17, 2007 9:36 AM:

" To "hey lodian": LOL! Were you under the impression that this is a private blog? You're wrong. Everything on this blog is my business, just like it is yours. Besides, you post with so many different names just so you can blast people and move to a new name as some innocent. Gotcha! "

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no alarm continued wrote on May 17, 2007 9:21 AM:

" Typical Lodi, once again. For all you people who continue to blame the cops why don't you hire a private security guard to stand post outside your home or business. Its not the cops job to catch robbers in the act. The cops have done another great job catching the punk kids who were breaking into the businesses downtown. Notice it stopped? So isn't the least you could do is invest in a damn alarm for your house and business? "

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No alarm wrote on May 17, 2007 9:17 AM:

" Any business or homeowner who doesn't have an alarm on their place deserves to be robbed.In this day and age if people dont want to protect their businesses and homes then they deserve some punk kid to throw a brick through the window and rob them. but in this town instead of get an alarm and be responsible for their property these people will blame it on the cops for not doing their job. "

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Hey Lodian wrote on May 17, 2007 8:42 AM:

" I noticed you're back to you're old ways of attacking people on the blogs again. It seems like when someone has a opinion, that you don't agree with you can't handle the situation and start childlishly lashing out at people.I'll be sure to Fed Ex you a cucumber, since you are so uptight! "

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Hey Lodian wrote on May 17, 2007 8:38 AM:

" Many people I talk to refuse to shop downtown because it is simply not affordable, so these business owners need to move their businesses elsewhere! Because of the bums sleeping on the benches, it is most likely them robbing the places! Get a clue and get your fat butt off the computer for once! "

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Hey Lodian wrote on May 17, 2007 8:36 AM:

" There you go again blasting your fat mouth again! For once you should mind your own business, as you were not there that day, and I wasn't talking to you! And not many people really care about the downtown burglaries. Maybe if these greedy businesses would lower their prices they wouldn't get robbed! "

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GovAgent wrote on May 17, 2007 5:07 AM:

" Thank GOD you have a second chance, now live your life for your daughter, and dont let her out of your sight unless she is with trusted friends and adult supervision. Honor the gift GOD gave you by protecting it! Heavenly Father Bless this family and the families of all the other parents. May Your Holy Spirit protect the children of this world. In Jesus name I ask amen! "

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just a thought wrote on May 16, 2007 8:55 PM:

" I believe the bike officer's name is Schlader...not schlegel. He helped my family with a problem downtown once...I think the LPD does a fantastic job with the resources they are given. people should cut them more of a break... "

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Lodian wrote on May 16, 2007 4:26 PM:

" as usual: You are clueless. "

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Lodian wrote on May 16, 2007 3:02 PM:

" To "I" : Why were you so quick to blast the police officer since you "didn't have time to watch the police officer to arrest the guy on the bench"? Shouldn't you know what happened before you blast the officer? Obviously you didn't have the story straight. Stop jumping to conclusions. And I'd say the "biggest" problem downtown is not "teen drinking, vandalism by skaters, and too many people sleeping on benches"... it has been BURGLARY! Just ask the business owners. Have you been around lately? This has been the biggest issue. "

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To: mochaman wrote on May 16, 2007 12:25 PM:

" Sorry, I didn't have time to watch the police officer to arrest the guy on the bench. Had to leave...He was sleeping there for a good few hours though! LOL! "

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Lodian wrote on May 15, 2007 5:00 PM:

" myspace: Like TV, kids should be monitored and limited to Myspace. I don't think kids should be in front of the TV for hours either. Myspace is no different in that respect. "

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myspace wrote on May 15, 2007 2:44 PM:

" myspace makes for a nice filler when parents cant be bothered with the kids. kids can sit on a computer for hours and hours and the parents dont have to deal with their demands. "

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WY wrote on May 15, 2007 6:49 AM:

" Sam... I heard on the news this morning that we have lost 60% of our honey bees. Scary!I was riding around a cherry orchard and one tree would have cherries and the next would have about 4 cherryies on it,or none. How sad. Not a good crop. I hope this isn't happening to you. "

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WY wrote on May 15, 2007 6:45 AM:

" Lodian... Thanks for the good advice. I fear nothing when it comes to my kids. And they're not perfect so I know tough love will be in the future. It's going to be like raising myself. They dropped right under the tree. I am in for a job! I was wild... good, but wild. (Ok... slightly naughty) I did get into trouble. Not real, bad but trouble none the less. "

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Been there wrote on May 15, 2007 5:25 AM:

" The city of Lodi needs to remove the blinder, 19 years ago they said that we did not have a gang problem, WRONG. 8 year ago they said that we did not have a problem with underage kids drinking, WRONG. The city has very limited activities for teens. I am so glad that your daughter is doing great. I hope the city of Lodi learns from this "

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as usual... wrote on May 14, 2007 3:04 PM:

" Lodian is notibably absent whenever someone bring up th efact that th eskaters are vandals and underage drinkers. "

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Lodian wrote on May 14, 2007 12:19 PM:

" WY: You sound pretty darn feisty and willing to go the distance, so I am sure your kids will turn out just fine, even better than fine. Just don't be scared to take a stand, watch, listen, love (even tough love)...and be a good investigator/detective! :-) "

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Lodian wrote on May 14, 2007 12:14 PM:

" mochaman: Sounds like you were paying more attention to what was going on downtown with the kid and the policeman. Nice job. "

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Lodian wrote on May 14, 2007 12:12 PM:

" What a horrible experience and what a generous thing for this dad to do in writing this letter. I'll bet this family will be talking a lot more openly now, and a lot more often, after this near death experience. Best wishes to this family. "

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justamom wrote on May 13, 2007 3:33 PM:

" kudos to you Dad...you didn't blame anybody and hopefully you sent a message to other parents....Just when we think we know what's going on with our kids we don't!!!! Check it out, Check up, and make sure of what's going on. We only get our kids for a short time so don't waste it college is just around the corner. "

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lodi mom,. wrote on May 13, 2007 8:35 AM:

" i am a parent of four,. 3 daughters and 1 son,. ages 22,. 20,. 17 and 13. it is very hard being a parent as i became one at 17 yrs of age. i have never had problems with my kids cuz i have always been honest and open about everything in life,. dont hide things from them, the things u worrie about them knowing is better let known,. cuz they will learn to trust u. "

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LHS Class of 2006 wrote on May 12, 2007 10:40 PM:

" My Space has a lot of information for parents if not marked "private" - parents need to check on their teenagers because let me tell you most of them drink and a lot and talk about it on My Space like it's all they ever do! It is very sad, please be aware of what is happening. Where are the parents at these houses when these kids are drinking the night away? I am so sorry for this father's experience and glad she is OK. "

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mochaman wrote on May 12, 2007 9:58 PM:

" To "I". I was standing in line for Spiderman that day too and if you had been watching, the bike officer did not ride off. He went over and arrested the guy on the bench right in front of everyone............. "

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I wrote on May 12, 2007 2:41 PM:

" I guess I am surprised that not too many people act like they care, because they don't want the problems, yet nobody will even call the p.d. but if you do, it's not guaranteed they'll respond. Biggest problem downtown: teen drinking, vandalism by skaters, and too many people sleeping on benches! Will this ever get better? "

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I wrote on May 12, 2007 2:39 PM:

" This is an important issue to address because how can one take their family at these events with so many problems? Then, over two hours later when the movie got out, the guy was still passed out on the bench. Our friend told the police officer on the bike and he said he'd take care of it, but then just rode off... "

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I wrote on May 12, 2007 2:37 PM:

" Also when my family and I went to go watch the new Spiderman movie while standing in line, we saw a whole group of "skaters" disrespecting the property and threw a "no parking" sign on some young teenager who was passed out on the bench right in front of the theatre. "

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I wrote on May 12, 2007 2:35 PM:

" I for one agree that we need more police patrol downtown. It seems like on the weekends the atmosphere is worse, especially the rif rafs that hang out on the benches as you walk to the parking garage. Lately I even saw some thug guy walking around with no shirt and staring people down. Not a good place for family... "

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Sober Kid wrote on May 12, 2007 1:31 AM:

" My parents raised me well. They never kept their eyes off me and I thank them for keeping me safe. Even though my social life if non-existent I am sure I will smoothly fit back into modern society when I move out of the house and go to college. I just use my imagination to keep me company at home (even though I can totally connect with my parents the same way I can with kids my age). I know for sure that I will be able to function normally in today's modern society. "

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Observer wrote on May 12, 2007 1:22 AM:

" "Talking" with your children is not enough try sitting down and connecting with them. "

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Observer wrote on May 12, 2007 1:20 AM:

" As parents, criticism should not even enter your heads. What kind of an example is that going to set? and what is your point in criticizing rather than a rational informative approach? I strongly think that from reading a short little headline on the news is not a strong enough basis to criticize another parent's response. "

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Stocktonian (continuation from below posting) wrote on May 12, 2007 1:04 AM:

" Love and trust your children, just make sure they are aware of your fears as parents of being in the same situation as this father had been in. Connect with your children and teach them because you can't always assume that they're on the same page as you're on. "

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Stocktonian wrote on May 12, 2007 1:01 AM:

" Parents need to realize that their children are not as innocent as they think. Just simply telling them about the dangers of alcohol and drugs sometimes may not click in their heads. A lot of times children fail to connect with the realistic consequences of their actions. If you have ever felt the pain of loosing a loved one from something that could have been prevented, tell your kids about your painful experiences so that they may be able to connect with it. cont... "

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WY wrote on May 12, 2007 12:21 AM:

" Once again Sir... I am glad your lil girl is doing well. This was a bad thing to have happen to your child. She might not have ever come out of that stuper. You're blessed. What a good thing to talk about it. I hope everyone stays respectful because he "opened his heart" to us about his daughter. "

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WY wrote on May 12, 2007 12:04 AM:

" My sweet lil boy is naughty as a tweenager. I love him he is a good kid, but is nosey and wants to know everything. I'm listening to everthing you're saying, cuz I could see him just looking and turning into a surfer dude. I don't care I'm reading their diaries. They better get a volt for it. "

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blogger wrote on May 11, 2007 10:11 PM:

" to Lodimom2; you said two important things about raising your kids--have dinner together and PRAY. Make sure dinner is a fun time, not the time to correct, scold, etc. "

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struggling parent wrote on May 11, 2007 7:38 PM:

" FYI. There were a hand full of children drinking that Friday my son included. If you think your child is to good to get into trouble you need to pull the blinders off. We (lodi parents of teenagers need to band together) Also you need to start doing bed between 12 and 2am Fridays and Sat. A group of kids seem to be sneaking out regularly my alarm system doesnt seem to be enough.Grounding and taking things doesnt seem to be enough. Im moving on to counseling for obvious reseasons. "

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AN wrote on May 11, 2007 5:29 PM:

" I'm glad this didn't end in her death. I'm guessing this is going on all across America. I think parents need to explain to their daughters that people like Paris Hilton are NOT the image to follow. She is a rich, spoiled brat that will end up doing the following with her drunken driving: maiming herself or others; killing herself or others. The governor of CA had better NOT pardon her. Girls these days look up to dumb dums like her and try to emulate them. "

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WY wrote on May 11, 2007 5:10 PM:

" lodimom2... Good advice. I pray with my kids, it works ! I pray for my adopted Soldiers too. I pray when I misplace my keys... God is Good! The best advice of the blog... "PRAY WITH YOUR CHILDREN" Even if you pray with them this could still happen to a quirious (sp?) teen. Someone spell that for me. I just heard the "wrong" buzzer. stupid key board... "

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levasmom wrote on May 11, 2007 4:59 PM:

" It's not the city's problem or anyone else's. I suggest that parents and neighbors become more involved on reporting to parents what they see. I'd sure want to know if there were strange things going on that I'm not aware of. It might make the difference in my child's life. "

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levasmom wrote on May 11, 2007 4:57 PM:

" I'm a mom of a senior girl. Boy what a scary ride this has been! I'm convinced there is no tougher, more rewarding job. You hold them as little infants, never realizing how difficult/fearful it will be later. I thought we 'talked openly' too until the last two years. I talk, listen, checked up on, required supervision, basically the inquisition! It's not easy! You've always got to stay two steps ahead. Glad she made it through dad. Hope that she's learned a lesson but you'd better hold those reins very tightly for a very long time. "

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This touched my heart wrote on May 11, 2007 4:56 PM:

" To the gentleman who wrote this letter: I too have a 14 year old daughter. Your experience has made me think... God bless you, your daughter and family. Thank you for sharing the details and insight. It was a "from the heart" essay in my eyes. It deserves a place in the Editorial section, away from some of the stranger postings attached to this article. Yet some people gave you much praise and that's nice to see. Again, thank you and I wish you well. "

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lodimom2continued wrote on May 11, 2007 4:42 PM:

" I guess the bottom line is: talk to your kids, become involved, know their friends, know where they are, get involved in their school, their sports, eat dinner together, spend time together, get involved in all parts of their lives, make them accountable...and PRAY. "

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lodimom2 wrote on May 11, 2007 4:39 PM:

" I know about the "published" page and also the page where the real action is happening on MySpace. I agree with bottom line - kids are sneaky and they do know alot more than we do about computers, etc. But they are also obviously naive to put stuff on the computer that parents might be able to see. "

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I don't presume to have perfect kids.. wrote on May 11, 2007 3:22 PM:

" But I have a relationship with my kids that they know they can come to me with anything. As for 2 MySpace pages, maybe some kids have that but not all. You can clearly tell if they are interacting with people on the page and if they are not getting messages then yes, you should be doing some research. "

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just go look up wrote on May 11, 2007 2:54 PM:

" myspace.com and in the search bar type in lodi,ca. these are the pages the kids know their parents can see so imagine what the "hidden" or "private" pages look like. "

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lodimom2 wrote on May 11, 2007 2:01 PM:

" to Lodian - It's nice to hear there are other concerned involved parents out there - when I told some parents recently that I view my kid's myspace I've been told "I wouldn't do that, it would invaid their privacy" or "my son/daughter would be so mad if I went on to their space". Can you believe that?? "

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continued wrote on May 11, 2007 1:44 PM:

" educate yourselves and dont feel stupid. we didnt have this stuff when we were growing up. its different now. The same thing goes for identity theft. dont bank online without protecting yourself. and be sure whoever you have out to your house to help you is a stand up person. I just heard on the news some lady hired best buy who contracts with geek squad out to fix her pc and the guy hid a web cam in her bathroom. its discouraging but do your homework, educate yourself, and block access to myspace!! "

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continued wrote on May 11, 2007 1:40 PM:

" Talk to a computer tech. get a good one and have him come out to your house (when the kids are in school) and give you a lesson and put a tracking device on your computer and have him show you how to use and hide the program so the kids dont know its running on your system. put a password on the control panel so they cant see it. Do something do anything other than sit back and tell yourself its all under control. "

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continued wrote on May 11, 2007 1:38 PM:

" and laziness. You all know better than that. thats what i mean when i say you lose control when you say think you hav eit all covered. These kids now have way more angels, options, ideas, and ways to get in trouble. its way different then when we grew up. Technology is a huge issue and most parents dont even understand it but kindergarteners can build a computer program by program blindfolded. "

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continued. wrote on May 11, 2007 1:35 PM:

" If I had teenagers in the house I wouldn't let them have access to a computer unless I was sitting in their lap! and i would try to get all their friends parents on the same page. And internet cafes? forget it. It all comes down to knowing where and with whom they are. and whats the supervision? what parent is on duty? this crap about dropping them off somewhere is pure b.s. "

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Bottom Line wrote on May 11, 2007 1:32 PM:

" The minute you think you know whats going on with your teenager is the minute you have totally lost control. its not about good parent/bad parent..its human nature. its an ever changing relationship. theres nothing smooth about it. its a rocky rocky road until they are about 25 yrs old.(no, it doesnt end when they are 18, it gets harder because you dont even have legal control) "

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CONTINUED wrote on May 11, 2007 1:29 PM:

" REALLY PARENTS. GET REAL. your kids know more about the computer than most of you do. computers are bad news unless your going to sit there with your kid and watch over their shoulder. the internet and myspace are sexual playgrounds for teenagers/predators/ perverts/spouses who want to be unfaithful. I agree they can be a wonderful tool too, you just have to be careful!!!! "

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CONTINUED wrote on May 11, 2007 1:26 PM:

" ONe page is fake and the other page is the real one that you will never find. Myspace is on 60 minutes, 20/20, dr phil, blah blah blah. If you parents really had it under control myspace would be BLOCKED from your computer completely and you would have a spy sleuth program that tracked their every move. (AND YOUR KIDS WOULDN'T KNOW HOW TO OVERIDE THE PROGRAM) lol lol lol "

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you guys are so stupid... wrote on May 11, 2007 1:23 PM:

" If you think you have the myspace.com thing under control. All the kids have two pages. One is for the one you get to be a "friend" on and see that they are good kids and the other page you know nothing about is the one that has their lingerie shots and money shots on that is "hidden" Dont think these kids havent thought of everything! COME ON! Myspace is TROUBLE!! "

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cont... wrote on May 11, 2007 1:20 PM:

" she had the same pic of her daughter chugging the Corona with a caption of "She Thinks She Can Drink Like her Momma"... Now THAT is when you blame the parents. Because if it's ok to do it with Mom, then it must be ok to do it without. "

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I check my kids' MySpace DAILY... wrote on May 11, 2007 1:19 PM:

" Yes, I said daily. I noticed one day a friend of my sons had a picture of herself chugging a Corona, so I decided I would call her mom, who I know pretty well. Well imagine my surprise when I look at the mom's MySpace and... "

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Lodian wrote on May 11, 2007 11:37 AM:

" lodimom2: I have actually seen pictures of kids with bottles of Smirnoff to their lips and a big smile on their face. Makes me ill. These are the kids that ruin it for all the kids that do not choose to think these things are cool. It's really too bad. "

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Lodian wrote on May 11, 2007 11:35 AM:

" lodimom2: You're right. If only some of these parents knew what I have seen on their kids' Myspace. I wonder if they'd approve. I wouldn't. "

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lodimom2 wrote on May 11, 2007 9:44 AM:

" To Madd Mother - I check my kid's My Space page often. They weren't allowed a MySpace page unless I was one of their "friends". You cannot believe the drinking, drugs and lewd pic's posted. You can find out ALOT about your kids and their friends. Every parent should view their kid's pages and the pages of their friends. "

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lodimom2 wrote on May 11, 2007 9:43 AM:

" I've always told my kids, "when in doubt, if you can't do it in front of me, it's not the right decision". "

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lodimom2 wrote on May 11, 2007 9:42 AM:

" To "also a father" - I understand she is a minor, however, it was her choice to drink. Her father dropped her off at the movies to see a movie not go into a alley and drink. I agree that a parent is responsible for minor child, however, it was still her choice to do something illegal and life threating. You cannot be with your child 24/7 - you can inquire and be on top of things as much as possible, but there will be times when choices are made without a parents involvement or control. "

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Juanita wrote on May 11, 2007 8:43 AM:

" Glad to hear she's okay. I heard the story from my sister who also has a 13 yr old, and I could not imagine what it must of been like for you. I commend you for sharing such a private story with us, and the advice provided. I believe it's in our hands to teach our children that not everything that's out there is the best choice. Thank you. "

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a mom wrote on May 11, 2007 12:22 AM:

" thanks for being brave and writing a dignified letter. i love the challenges my girls bring me, but that not would be an easy one. Take care of your kids. we have way too many parents out there that wrap their arms around Narcissism. "

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a mom of a young girl wrote on May 11, 2007 12:17 AM:

" I commend you on your letter. as a wife of a police officer, i know exactly what is going on at the theater. but i love the challenges that kids bring to us without asking. I am so glad your daughter is going to be fine. but stay on it. And yes EVERYONE should check out the top row of the theater, but that place is run by a bunchof boobs, not managers. "

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madd mother wrote on May 10, 2007 11:23 PM:

" I know one of the girls involved in this drinking incident. She is laughing about it, posting about it on myspace. After the segment was aired on channel 40. She posted on a bulletin, "they didn't even mention me, ha ha". This young girl posts on myspace how much drinking she has done, and how many drugs she has done. WHERE ARE THE PARENTS!!! "

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WY wrote on May 10, 2007 10:06 PM:

" This could happen to any GOOD parent. I am so glad your daughter is OK. Scary thing, Alcohol. Sharing your story is brave and positive. Thank you. "

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TigerDad wrote on May 10, 2007 9:48 PM:

" My junior son is constantly being pressured by peers to come to their house and drink. This often makes me wonder where their parents are. Could they be out of the house that often, or are they watching WWE in another room while junior and his friends get drunk? And we won't even BEGIN to talk about what goes on at my neighbors house when their daughter comes home from school while they're at work ... it would make Monica Lewinsky blush. "

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Also a father wrote on May 10, 2007 9:48 PM:

" To LodiMom2: When a child is a minor, the responsibility DOES lie with the parents. There is NO shift in blame. "

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TigerDad wrote on May 10, 2007 9:46 PM:

" Things are no different today than they were back in the late 70's when I graduated. The difference is that kids today start much younger. When I was 13 there were two major scandals ... two girls who wore necklaces that had their boyfriends names on them. Naivete no longer exists with today's middle schoolers. You have to visit an elementary school to find some iota of naivete. "

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916feedback wrote on May 10, 2007 8:56 PM:

" Thank you for sharing your story about your daughter and opening yourself up to the criticism of people who dont have a clue. I see nothing wrong with dropping your 13 yr old off at the movies. Afterall, she had to have gained your trust before so there was probably no need for you NOT to trust her this time. No such thing as a perfect parent. "

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WTF wrote on May 10, 2007 7:59 PM:

" ...things happen for a reason. I hope she has learned from her ordeal and will use it to educate her friends and peers on the hazzards of underage drinking. God Bless your family and strength to you all. "

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WTF wrote on May 10, 2007 7:57 PM:

" ...but we CANNOT make choices for them. Watch who our kids hang with. BE OBSERVANT. Im NOT saying this Dad did wrong. It can happen to the best of us but I guess when we cant explain why things happen we have to put the blame somewhere huh..... "

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WTF wrote on May 10, 2007 7:56 PM:

" Great open heart story. Iam glad she is ok. BUT, why do we cintinue to put blame on downtown or the movie area. People make choices. She made the wrong one. It almost cost her everything. We can raise our kids teach them right from wrong..... "

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ra wrote on May 10, 2007 7:50 PM:

" It took courage for this father to write this letter. Parents - take this as a lesson and get more involved with your kids, their friends and the friends' parents. I know my parents would be shocked by the indiscretions of my youth. Luckily I survived and have a good memory. Thanks for the courage and insight that may spare other parents grief. "

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Lodian wrote on May 10, 2007 7:03 PM:

" judy: Start by asking your kids. "

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Grateful Father wrote on May 10, 2007 6:52 PM:

" I commend this father for reminding us about the importance of parents being "INVOLVED" in the lives of our children. I have shed the tears that he must have in seeing his daughter in such a fragile state. The sense of parenting has been lost to the Television "Real Life" shows and music childcare we have abandoned our children too. We as parents have decided to set aside guidance for what is comfortable for us, not whats better for our children. We need to open our eyes now, or they might end up with their eyes closed forever. "

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radone wrote on May 10, 2007 6:39 PM:

" As a parent to a 13 yr old who was dropped off at the movies 2 years ago I found out what happens "at the movies" he indulged in a little alcohol and when I found out he was not allowed back to the movies-as "the parent" I made that choice for him and I'm glad I did because today he's a very good young man and this is a choice many parents have to make...good luck sir... "

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Ivan Dixon wrote on May 10, 2007 6:17 PM:

" I knew a kid when I was in college who never touched a drop of booze until he turned 21. To make a long story short, he started drinking on his birthday and a year later he was living under a bridge. I heard he passed away a couple of years ago. "

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Ivan Dixon wrote on May 10, 2007 6:14 PM:

" I'm not saying its a good thing but kids have been getting drunk since the dawn of time and they will continue to do so until the end of time. The hysteria which periodically sweeps our nation has never made a lasting difference in the teen age alcoholism rates (although it has probably made a lot of parents feel better temporarily). "

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I see nothing wrong with dropping your kids off... wrote on May 10, 2007 4:17 PM:

" at the movies. Until my son does something to make me distrust him I will continue to do so. We can not put our kids in a bubble forever. All we can do is instill in them the best morals we know how and hope they follow our lead. I'm so glad to see this child will be ok. "

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dee wrote on May 10, 2007 4:13 PM:

" Thank God for the miracle! Thank God for 2nd chances. They're not always given... life is precious. Prayers for all parents and patrol in the community. "

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lodimom2 wrote on May 10, 2007 4:10 PM:

" The blame again has shifted. The blame does not lie with the parents; it was the girl's choice and therefore the blame is squarely on her shoulders and she will have to suffer the consequences of her actions. I am very happy that she is ok, but why does our society always try to find fault in someone else for what they do? This happens continually in our society and until we make people responsible for their actions nothing will ever change. "

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Whoa Nellie! wrote on May 10, 2007 4:00 PM:

" It took a lot guts for this father to write this letter, and kudo to the LNS for printing it on Page 1. However, I simply laugh at some of these posts. As another person wrote, smart kids make stupid decisions. Peer pressure is huge, just like it was when you were that age, but I think even bigger. They all post "wild" pictures on their MySpace page. You would be SHOCKED at what you can see on MySpace. "

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Whoa Nellie! wrote on May 10, 2007 3:56 PM:

" Ironically, on today's MSN homepage is a great article related to the teen drinking problem. READ IT: http://lifestyle.msn.com/familyandparenting/raisingkids/articlegh.aspx?cp-documentid=4801401>1=10014 "

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LG wrote on May 10, 2007 2:34 PM:

" For all of please read this article: http://lifestyle.msn.com/familyandparenting/raisingkids/articlegh.aspx?cp-documentid=4801401>1=10014 It will highlite the true epidemic for you. PARENTS: Your children will lie to you, expect it and don't let them get away with it or it leads to stuff like what you read about. "

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PAL wrote on May 10, 2007 2:34 PM:

" Its ok to drop off your kids to watch a movie with their friends. Parents need to drop them off no more than 1/2 hr before the movie starts and pick them up as soon as it's over. I hope this father is not so naive to think this is his daughters first time. Most likely will not be the last no matter what she says. Where were you people when there was a skating rink and a bowling alley, they were always empty when I brougth my kids to them. No wonder they shut down. "

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To Sober Kid: wrote on May 10, 2007 2:27 PM:

" What a gret kid you sound like. I bet your parents are proud of you! Cheers! "

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LMS Mom wrote on May 10, 2007 2:05 PM:

" As the parent of a 14 year old son, I can only imagine what a nightmare you have endured. No matter who is to blame in this situation, this is a tragedy of huge proportions. Not only what has already been addressed as far as parental supervision, etc., but also the fact that some young girls feel the need to act out in this way. Self-esteem and self-worth are so important at this impressionable age and it appears that lack of these things is a direct cause of this kind of self destructive behavior. "

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A Sister wrote on May 10, 2007 1:48 PM:

" I think parents are very naive about there children when it comes to drinking...When I look back at my teenage years there were many "cool" parents that allowed it. Now that I see my sister in highschool...I can't believe that me and my friends drank alcohol at such a young age... Here's an idea- after dropping your kids off at the movies..an hour later drive back by...most of those kids dont even go into the theatre...it's simply a way for them to get away from there parents and hang out with their friends... Hopefully everyone can learn something from this. "

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Reflective Parent wrote on May 10, 2007 1:18 PM:

" In my opinion there is not much any parent or police officer can do to prevent situations like this from happinig. Education and Good Advice, will go a long way. But there will always be an "experimental phase" in a young persons life. Parents must always stay streetsmart and reflect on ones own experiences as a young person. "

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Tracy wrote on May 10, 2007 1:16 PM:

" If you think drinking is the only thing going on with these kids, check the top row of the theater. Kids are practically nude. I've called the theater to let them know they're going to be slapped with a paternity suit for allowing sex to happen in the back row. "

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You guys are nuts... wrote on May 10, 2007 1:07 PM:

" Drinking isn't the only thing you guys should worry about with young girls. They could be planning to meet people there who they met on the internet. Another scenario is someone could give them a date rape drug. Someone could just be a straight up kidnapper/child molester. They could be having unprotected sex. the list is endless. does it really take a blog for you to think of these things? you should all have your parenting licenses suspended! "

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class of 98' wrote on May 10, 2007 1:05 PM:

" To all the parents who think that this happened because the father simply dropped off his daughter and left her unattended you need a wake up call. The girl was thirteen! If you think hiding your kids or making them hang out with there parents is the way you are wrong. This will only make them explore more when you are not around. Under age drinking is not new. Its not a new trend nor will it stop. Generations before did it and generations in the future will. Know your kids and educate them. "

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To jqq; wrote on May 10, 2007 1:00 PM:

" GREAT POST! I don't know why these parents can't seem to find the time for their kids. Then when they screw up the parents look for every possible person to try to blame for it! "

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To: Mother wrote on May 10, 2007 12:55 PM:

" I totally agree. And to all you "know it alls", there is no absolute right way to raise kids. We are not clones. If you have to keep THAT close tabs on your kids, there is definetly something wrong with your parenting. "

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Been there done that wrote on May 10, 2007 12:51 PM:

" When my sons were teens, they obeyed all the house rules, met all curfews and I knew their friends to be "good kids," with equally responsible parents. Only when they were adults, did they come to me, and apologise for their deceitful ways. They told me of all the things they did while they were in my trust. It was scary. So, not all parents who have wayward kids, are bad parents. Kids do what they want to do, regardless. Good values and morals, don't always produce good results. "

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j lawrence endicott wrote on May 10, 2007 12:50 PM:

" I strongly admire the father for trying to make something positive from a horrible incident like this. To bloggers who complain about "nothing to do", it is not the responsibility of the city nor the taxpayers to provide something for your children "to do". That is your job. "

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A MOM wrote on May 10, 2007 12:49 PM:

" It saddens me to see how many people are quick to judge, Im mom of 2 girls, and 2 grandchildren, I was one of those kids that had to go out and have fun, I have a great mom who instilled morals and values, she worked hard to support 3 children, we make our own choices when we grow up we really do need more for young kids and teens to do in Lodi, I say to all who are commenting..STAY FOCUSED..dont belittle, we all make mistakes, and for the most part we learn..and I liked the go-cart idea "

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Sober Kid wrote on May 10, 2007 12:41 PM:

" I'll have everyone know that lack of 'things to do' in Lodi has not ever made me want to drink. My parents raised me like good parents should. I have yet to drink a drop--EVER. I'm almost 21 and still am unsure whether or not drinking is something I even care to take part in. When I was younger I found stuff to do. There were no kids on my street to play with, there were no nearby parks and all I had was a bike and my imagination. I did it all without drinking myself drunk. "

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DrunkTownCitizen wrote on May 10, 2007 12:35 PM:

" drinking is totally acceptable in lodi, and being marketed very well by all of our wonderful wineries. "

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jqq...continued wrote on May 10, 2007 12:34 PM:

" Why not join your kids and their friends to the movies? My parents would often accompany us to the bowling alley, cheer us on, and socialize with our friends...our friends always wished that their parents would have taken the time to do the same! Thanks Mom and Dad for being the COOL PARENTS (taking time to hang out with us and getting to know our friends)! "

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jqq wrote on May 10, 2007 12:33 PM:

" What I have seen is parents drop their barely-teen daughters / daughter's friends in front of the theatre at the stop sign and drive. Once their daughters see them drive off they do an "about-face" and meet up with a group of boys and walk off away from the theatre...towards Emerson Park. My wife and I can't believe that parents are so trusting not only of their DAUGHTERS, but of the HORMONE CRAZED boys that are out there trying to cop-a-feel! "

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teenage mother wrote on May 10, 2007 12:19 PM:

" your article brought tears to my eyes. i have a 13yr old daughter that i too drop off at the movies, i will for sure be keeping a closer eye on that. its easy for everyone to judge, i do know my daughter as im sure you knew yours, im truly glad that you have a second chance with your daughter..i will be printing your letter and showing it to my daughter tonight! "

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Mother wrote on May 10, 2007 12:14 PM:

" I took my kids camping, I took my kids bowling I spent plenty of time with them. You can only spend so much time with them and then, they want to grow. It is there right to grow up. They need to make choices and GOOD ONES!My kids most mis~behaved friend were the ones that had NO freedom!! I cannot beleive you all on your pedistals... Pathetic "

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LHS student wrote on May 10, 2007 11:28 AM:

" this is crazy i think she needs someone to look up to and show her you can have fun not drinking! "

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LodiCitizen wrote on May 10, 2007 11:06 AM:

" Parents needs to take more responsibility of their children. Spend more time with them. More supervision when they are with their friends. They need more responsibility, more chores at home, volunteer work, part-time jobs. Our children are "bored" because we allow them to be "idle". We need to take charge of our children. They are our responsibility - not the police, the schools or anyone else - our responsibility. "

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Hmmm (contd) wrote on May 10, 2007 10:47 AM:

" At some point they will be behind the wheel and choices will be put before them. Will they know how to decide then? "

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Hmmm wrote on May 10, 2007 10:44 AM:

" I saddens that we can't drop off our teenage kids to see a movie. These kids have to learn to make good choices sooner or later. I think being over-protective can harm as well as protect. At some point they will have to make decisions for themselves. The trick is to KNOW your kids and make good decisions regarding what they do...or you can keep them in a bubble. "

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WRONG wrote on May 10, 2007 10:42 AM:

" I am happy everthing is okay with your daughter.And while this one officer helped save her life...PLEASE don't be fooled by saying we need more police in Lodi, we have plenty, we just need them all to do their jobs, not just a handful. "

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Momof10yrols wrote on May 10, 2007 10:40 AM:

" I have a 10year old,I talk about drinking and drugs,hopefully I am getting through.It is hard to believe this young lady was only 3years older than mine,but it is reality.I am very happy for you that your daughter is okay.I remember what it is like being a teenager.I have nieces that get dropped off at the movies too,hopefully my brother will look at that differently now.Don't let these other posters kick you while you are down,you thought this was innocent and now you know,now we all know.Thank you for sharing and I hope your daughter has learned from this experience. "

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to "mother" wrote on May 10, 2007 10:28 AM:

" Give me a break,,try studying,,try taking your kids camping,,try just doing things with your family,,,go-carts!!??,,please. "

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Mom of 2 wrote on May 10, 2007 10:25 AM:

" I think that an organized parent club that has volunteers dowtown to help watch over these kids is one answer. I for one would do it. In fact I am going to try to put one together myself. Are there any other parents who would do something like this with me? Thank God this little girl is o.k. "

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A Parent wrote on May 10, 2007 10:16 AM:

" Kudos to the father for writing this article! Being a parent is tough.....It is sad to see how many commenters are judging this father and his family!! What is that saying??? Judge not, lest ye be judged? "

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judy wrote on May 10, 2007 10:14 AM:

" To "not about activities", thank you for your comments about having enough activities and opportunities and your opinion about what it is all about. I agree with you. We hear over and over that there is nothing for kids to do. I would like to know exactly what activities the kids would like to have provided to them so they do have something to do. Can anybody tell me where I can get that question answered honestly? "

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a lodi teen wrote on May 10, 2007 10:08 AM:

" Parents need to be not so naive. Kids have been doing this for awhile now. I used to work in the downtown area, in the theater complex, and kids act like this every friday and saturday night. It is so common to smell alcohol on the breath of kids walking around outside...its simply inevitable. As far as asking questions and being "more involved"...what is deemed as "bad" in the eyes of parents, kids will not fess up to or will lie in order for them to not find out. Its a rebellion; just something every kid goes through. "

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father wrote on May 10, 2007 10:05 AM:

" I feel for this father but I also say to him he needs to take the responsibility of his child. Apparently something was missing for his daughter to do something like this. It is not the responsibility of the police or Lodi as a whole to raise children. It is the parents responsibility to raise them so that they make sensible choices. "

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Mother wrote on May 10, 2007 9:58 AM:

" These kids make bad choices, we all have! If they had more options in Lodi maybe they would make different choices Kids need to be let go It helps them grow up and be independant! I have 3 kids are all fine productive responsible adults and they had nothing as teens to do in Lodi! They went out of town to go bowling. kids will make bad choices Lodi's kids are BOARD I think this dad just sent his daughter to the movies to have fun !Remember those who live in glass houses shouldnt throw stones. "

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I understand wrote on May 10, 2007 9:56 AM:

" Parenting has a lot to do with how your child will turn out. However, I have seen 2 children raised exactly the same and turn out to be totally different. So don't be so quick to always blame the parent. You could have done your best, but your children are human beings that have minds of their own and will disobey if they so desire regardless of what you say or do. "

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lodicit. wrote on May 10, 2007 9:42 AM:

" Honestly the solution here is seriously to keep your kids locked up until they are old enough to go out and be responsible for their own desicions...what 14yr. old kid should just be dropped off to just hang out without parents??? "

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Charles wrote on May 10, 2007 9:22 AM:

" Sorry, Mother...more police is NOT the answer to this problem...Our city is already over-extended financially...we can't afford anymore officers, especially trying to stop children from drinking...more police just means bigger bills for our city down the road... "

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not about activities wrote on May 10, 2007 9:20 AM:

" Saying the kids dont have anything to do is a horrible argument. I couldn't have grown up with more opportunites and activities, things adults would love to do and we still drank. its not about boredom, its about curiosity. its about pushing the envelope. its about rebelling. its about the parents said not to do it. you guys need to have a parent that is watching them or close by, same house kind of thing. you cant just drop your kids off and pray. get real! i'm amazed. there should be a test before people are just allowed to breed. "

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NOT ABOUT ACTIVITIES! wrote on May 10, 2007 9:10 AM:

" (oops sorry about previous post.) "

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momof3 wrote on May 10, 2007 9:05 AM:

" I will tell you in dealing with teens...This was not her first time drinking and once she knows you trust her again..She will drink or try something else harder...IF you never inforced chores...Now might be a good time to make her earn that trust NOT just having a heart to heart talk... "

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sam wrote on May 10, 2007 9:04 AM:

" Lodiguy, I agree. I have two grown children whom we raised in Lodi. We never, ever would have dropped them off at a theater. Nor will I ever drop my grandkids off unsupervised. "

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Mother wrote on May 10, 2007 8:45 AM:

" I could not agree with you more. The kids in Lodi need more to do like a bowling alley, an arcade, somthing other than a movie theater. They are board and then they drink, Maybe if they could ride go-carts or somthing fun they wouldn't resort to drinking! More Police and More things for teens to do in Lodi! Thank GOD she is OK! "

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Bravo dad, bravo... wrote on May 10, 2007 8:38 AM:

" Thank you for sharing your story. This could have had a different ending and I'm glad it didn't. I can only imagine your pain and fright when this happened. It's sad that now you have to rebuild the trust you once had with your child, however the love will never die. "

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WEG wrote on May 10, 2007 8:34 AM:

" Putting more officers on the streets and adding a curfew is not going to stop teenage drinking. The parents need to raise their kids to make better decisions before not after something like this takes place. A school presentation will not stop the drinking. If anything the kids that are drinking already make a mockery of the presentation and continue to drink anyways. It all comes down to being a parent to your kids and not their friend. "

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bb78 wrote on May 10, 2007 8:30 AM:

" This article touched my heart and put me in tears.That is a great letter written by the father. "

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Weezer wrote on May 10, 2007 8:27 AM:

" I'm thankful that his daughter survived. It's never fun to read what had happened to that young girl. I'm also glad that the dad responded well to the incident. As he encourages us, let us "all take something positive out of the experience." "

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Parents wrote on May 10, 2007 8:26 AM:

" Now maybe the parents of Lodi will get out of denial and listen to what the school district and local police agency is saying. These people risk lawsuits and financial loss trying to wake you fools up! The least you could do is be receptive to the information. "

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LodiGuy wrote on May 10, 2007 8:21 AM:

" What a tragic story. It will be a cold, dark day in my grave before I drop my 13 year old off at the movie theater (or anywhere else for that matter) by himself. If I ever become a father that doesn't know the inside out of my child's life, I shouldn't be a parent. "

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Observer wrote on May 10, 2007 8:13 AM:

" I'd like to thank this father for sharing what must have been an extremely difficult personal matter. I'm so happy that your daughter has survived this tragic situation and best of all, learned from it. Hopefully we have all learned something from it. "

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not touched wrote on May 10, 2007 8:08 AM:

" This guys daughter could have easily died and his response is "it appears they don't tell us everything." Hopefully for the rest of the parents in Lodi it won't take a situation like this for you all to figure out that kids lie. I worry about any parents who thinks they have "good" kids. Assume the worst and be pleasantly surpried. These are your kids. No dress rehearsal here. They can be gone forever in a few hours. "

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Also a father wrote on May 10, 2007 7:46 AM:

" Naive parent. Why was your daughter dropped off to 'hang out' for two hours at the movie theater? How about doing something with your kids rather than using the movie theater to do your job. "

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Thanks for your note wrote on May 10, 2007 7:30 AM:

" You have been very brave to write this about your daughter. It might save someone else's child. Hopefully, your daughter will stay away from alcohol in future. "

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lodi pd wife wrote on May 10, 2007 7:27 AM:

" Thank you for being so open in your experience with your daughter. Our officers need the help of our community to insure that our children stay safe. I hope that all the parents who read this will take it to heart. "

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sam wrote on May 10, 2007 7:18 AM:

" Excellent letter. Thank you for sharing your experience. I am glad to hear that your daughter is doing well. "

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A MOM wrote on May 10, 2007 7:16 AM:

" I want to thank this father for stepping up and being honest and sharing his story, after 20 yrs in recoverry myself, the only thing i can say is EDUCATE, HONESTY, OPENESS..I lived in Lodi for over 30 yrs, and growing up there..truesly there isnt alot for teenages to do, but by educating and more educating, I think we can get through to our children, even if only a few are saved..we have done out job "

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