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• Credit union robbed in Lodi

• Bank robbery witness flees, hides in passing truck

• Acampo handler shows champion terrier owned by comedian Bill Cosby

• Authorities arrest second suspect in bank fraud case

• Leadership Lodi raises funds for new LOEL van

• Regional Roundup

• Regional Roundup

• Presidents Day Closures

November 21st, 2009

• Logbook

• Holiday drive spreads cheer to U.S. troops

• Galt High students want board to approve open-campus policy

• Poisoning victims remain hospitalized

• Expert: Half a mushroom cap can be deadly

• Tokay grad files claim over Lodi's Grape Bowl

• Lodi Middle School holds annual Turkey Trot

• Regional Roundup

• No motive or suspect in shooting

• Sacramento cop arrested for alleged kidnapping

November 20th, 2009

• Acampo woman killed

• Salvation Army Kettle Kickoff

• Advocacy groups sue East Bay Municipal Utility District over Pardee expansion

• Regional Roundup

• Galt plans to help residents with energy-efficient projects

• Stable southeast of Lodi approved

• One year after a heart attack, Lodi's Judy Mims thanks rescuers

• National Guard troops return home in time for the holidays

• Real estate market gets on more solid ground

November 19th, 2009

• Operation: Christmas

• Logbook

• Suspect arrested after hiding in fridge

• Chase ends in crash

• Galt Joint Union High School Distric hires new superintendent

• Sales tax hike yields dividends: 5 new officers join Galt Police

• Lodi Unified School District board votes to cancel summer school for 2010

• Water surges in Mokelumne River yield more salmon

• Lodi City Council will consider redevelopment next June

• Lodi City Council plans to cap number of taco trucks at 22

• Corrections

November 18th, 2009

• Regional Roundup

• Paranormal group conducts second investigation of building

• Congress allocates money for local water projects

• Sarah Palin's book hits the shelves: Locals react

• Lodi man finds wife's ashes during police display of stolen property

• Galt City Council rejects study on rent stabilization

November 17th, 2009

• Paying tribute to a Lodian

• Lodi Budget and Finance Committee to look into ways to save money on employee benefits

• Regional Roundup

• Decision on summer school expected at tonight's Lodi Unified School District meeting

• Clements gets free water rescue boat

• Redevelopment to be discussed by Lodi City Council again

• Court reinstates death penalty for killer of Lodi grad

• Clarification

November 16th, 2009

• Correction

• Public Meetings

• City Council 'triple-dog dared' to ditch cars, use Lodi buses

• Sierra Adventure store to close after four years in Downtown Lodi

• Lodi's First Sip event showcases area wineries' latest vintages

• Three members of Lodi-area family fall ill after eating poisonous mushrooms they reportedly found at Lodi Lake

• Regional Roundup

November 14th, 2009

• Galt school district narrows superintendent search to one

• Regional Roundup

• Despite budget cuts, some Lodi Unified School District salaries continue to rise

• Watchful neighbor in Lodi helped bust suspected burglars

• New Galt city manager juggles job, family

• Despite an increase in homeless students, school districts look to bolster enrollment, raise revenue

• A first look at 2009 vintages at Lodi's First Sip wine-tasting event

The following stories have received the most reader comments during the last 7 days.

• The country's mess is our fault (170)
• Obama is not a moderate (130)
• Sarah Palin's book hits the shelves: Locals react (73)
• Lodi City Council plans to cap number of taco trucks at 22 (50)
• Public health care is a Christian option (49)
• The haves should help the have-nots (30)
• Tokay in, traveling to unbeaten No. 3 Grant for football playoffs (25)
• Government-run health care is a bad idea (22)
• Young woman fatally shot at Acampo home (17)
• Sierra Adventure store to close after four years in Downtown Lodi (16)

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'NORBIT' (No stars)

Murphy's talent can't save unfunny movie

You almost have to admire "Norbit," in a kind of sick, twisted way. After all, most bad movies are content to simply bore audiences with rehashed plots and bad acting. Yet here is a much bolder bad movie than the kind we're used to, one that dares to push the boundaries of ineptitude and ask: Exactly how bad can a movie be?

The answer: Really bad. So bad that it physically hurts to look at the screen. So bad that one would have to delve into the realm of theoretical mathematics in order to measure just how bad it is. So bad that it could conceivably drive audiences to alcoholism. So bad that, in all likelihood, those who see it will never again be able to experience joy in their lives. So bad that it transcends time and space — as you're watching it, time doesn't seem to stand still as it does with most bad movies, but seems to actually move backwards.

"Norbit" is another one of those aggressively unfunny Eddie Murphy movies in which the actor takes on multiple roles with the help of (it must be said) impressive makeup. Yet as bad as the others were, nothing could have prepared us for this film, which makes "The Nutty Professor II: The Klumps" look like Alec Guinness' "Kind Hearts and Coronets."

Here, he plays the title character, a goofy weakling who grew up in an orphanage and is used to letting people push him around. This propensity for submission leads him to marry the gargantuan Rasputia (also played by Murphy), who loves to boss around Norbit almost as much as loves to gorge herself on junk food.

Just as Norbit is deciding he's had enough of his wife's gluttonous and lecherous behavior, he runs into an old acquaintance from the orphanage: Kate (Thandie Newton), his former best friend and apparent soul mate, who is in town with her fiancé to take over ownership of the dilapidated orphanage. As the two begin to rekindle their friendship and romance, Rasputia and her three burly brothers scheme to keep them apart and procure the orphanage for themselves so they can turn it into a strip club.

It's all just as stupid as it sounds. And in addition to being painfully unfunny, "Norbit" is more than a bit racist, too: By donning extensive makeup and sporting an exaggerated accent as Norbit's father figure Mr. Wong, Murphy embodies the most blatantly racist Asian caricature since Mickey Rooney made an embarrassment of himself and others in "Breakfast at Tiffany's." Watching it, the mind reels in trying to figure out who could have possibly thought this was a good idea.

Next week, Murphy will probably be accepting an Oscar as best supporting actor for his impressive role in "Dreamgirls."

That "Norbit" — which represents the absolute rock-bottom of the comedian's incredibly uneven career — will be showing in thousands of theaters across the globe at the exact instant Murphy is accepting Hollywood's highest honor is intensely, feverishly ironic, and far funnier than anything contained in this dumb, ugly, overlong travesty of a film.

"Norbit" is rated PG-13 for profanity and crude humor.

Jason Wallis is a News-Sentinel copy editor. He can be reached at jwallis@runbox.com.