Young woman handles life and new disability with grace

As we grow older, some have the tendency to lump all of our problems together because it simplifies the solution. An example is how we relate to the younger generations by writing them off as lazy, non-productive drug users or alcoholics.

We should try to better understand their temptations and talents.

There are many very bright young people who understand and visualize more information, especially electronics, than we did at their age.

Then there are the disillusioned, like one time when a young man came into my office on his 21st birthday. I congratulated him. He bristled up and asked "for what?" My response was, "For becoming a man." He answered that his life was about over. "I've tried everything and done everything, so what's left?" I felt so sorry for this young man.

There is a story about Mark Twain and his unsophisticated friend, Glenn.

Mark Twain wanted to introduce him to some classical music, so he bought a couple of tickets to a Bach concert. About halfway through the concert, Mr. Twain noticed his friend began to fidget and act bored. So he tapped Glenn on his knee and said, "Cheer up, the music is not as bad as it sounds."

Today we observe or read in the paper about children and youth doing things that we may not approve of. We judge them on partial truths, but often their acts are not as bad as they seem.

Our children and grandchildren have many more distractions, good and bad, that we may have never experienced. But they need some of our parenting skills. Their problems are compounded with television, drugs, promiscuity and idleness. They need our help; in fact, they would welcome it.

Don't misinterpret my thoughts. They are not all bad. If we understand our children by their words and actions, they would welcome our suggestions.

My friend Erica, of Lodi, is not like many youth we see on TV or in the papers. She is a beautiful young college graduate whose major was in physical education. She was as pretty as she was energetic. One evening, she was staying at home and felt well when she went to sleep, but in the morning she couldn't use her lower extremities.

She didn't have any idea as to what had happened. Her parents were baffled. They managed to get her to the emergency room.

Their first impression was that it might be transverse myelitis. It is a difficult diagnosis that doctors hate to make because prognosis is often very long, and complete recovery is a miracle.

Erica, 25, accepted her disability by stating that the Lord had something special for her. She was hospitalized for about three weeks at UC Davis Medical School. She remained upbeat, whereas most patients with her problem become depressed. Not Erica. She was always optimistic. Many friends wanted to visit her while she was hospitalized.

Erica Davis, 25, of Lodi, rides a handcycle. She recently was diagnosed with a disease that left her a paraplegic. (Courtesy photo)

There was a sign on the door to her room that said, "If you are grouchy, leave your negative thoughts and griping in the hallway before you come in." When her friends came in, she would say, "The Lord has something special planned for me. I am in his hands."

Recently, we attended an informal meeting to discuss and encourage Erica. Her transverse myelitis involves the spinal cord. Many times it doesn't respond predictably to any form of treatment. A group of Erica's friends wanted to publicly support her with words and music, so we were all invited to a tribute for her. Many people spoke with such an empathetic and loving way. There was a quartet of singers with their stringed instruments that was so sweet and tender it would have made Johann Sebastian Bach proud.

Erica's family wasn't passive about her condition, or they didn't have as strong of faith as Erica, so they began their search for more aggressive treatment. On the Internet, they found Project Walk near San Diego, which specializes in spinal cord injuries, as well as patients with amputations.

Erica is now being groomed to be a spokesperson for other patients with spinal cord or other severe disabling injuries.

She is taking speech classes so she can better communicate with those facing similar challenges.

If you are interested in the progress Erica is making, you may e-mail her family, contribute cards or prayers or share part of the cost of her medical care.

Erica, we wish the best for you, so hang in there; the world needs more individuals like you!

First published: Tuesday, February 13, 2007