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Karen Engelmann sits with her "Turd Birds" at her Lodi home. Engelmann created the birds after needing something to create for Christmas gifts a few years ago. The birds are made from driftwood, feathers and horse manure. (Jennifer M. Howell/News-Sentinel)
Lodi woman creates fowl collectibles from foul substance
There is horse manure in Karen Engelmann's living room.
Well, not just any manure. Her manure has googly eyes and colorful feathers, legs made of driftwood and tiny Barbie boots. Some are dressed like hairdressers and nurses, while others resemble bikers and cowboys.
It's all part of Engelmann's collection of Turd Birds.
For the past two years, dressing up horse manure has been both a hobby and a business for the Lodi Electric Utility employee. She has sold almost 200 so far and people have been paying $20 a pop, or should we say poop.
"People either think they're cuter than cute or they're so repulsed by them they can't stand to be in the same room with them. It's not everybody's thing," Engelmann said from her living room in Lodi.
Engelmann made her first manure masterpiece about 10 years ago at Christmas time. She was stuck for a Christmas present and was part of a gift-giving circle where she needed to make the gift herself.
What could she do? She turned to poop.
But poop didn't become a passion until a year ago last October, when Engelmann's daughter needed some Christmas money. Engelmann made more birds and her daughter took a boxful to a street fair on the coast. She never expected them to sell well.
"But she came back with not a one left and orders for 12. They loved them," she said. "I realized then that people don't really have a problem with buying turds."
Engelmann has since copyrighted the idea and opened shop. She has created a professional-looking, 27-page color catalog and she frequently sells her birds on eBay to buyers from New York to Hawaii. She has three lines: basic turd birds, limited edition turd birds (which includes the hairdresser series, the firefighter series, the
royalty series, and the nurse series), and custom turd birds. They range in price from $20-$35.
Karen Engelmann's "Turd Birds" creations include this one from her Firefighters Series. (Jennifer M. Howell/News-Sentinel)
Each Turd Bird is handcrafted by Engelmann, made from horse manure from a Lockeford field. She typically goes out early in the morning, equipped with some thick, yellow dishwashing gloves, fireplace tongs, some worn out tennis shoes and an old tote bag, in search of the driest specimens.
"I don't bring back any with moisture content, not even morning dew," she said.
She learned her lesson early on when she brought back some wet ones, set them on a wire rack on top of her wood burning stove on the back patio and forgot about them.
"The next thing I heard was my husband saying, 'What stinks?' They got hot and it did stink very badly. Consequently, I say no moisture."
She picks up an array of sizes, but usually steers clear of the deformed ones, which don't tend to balance well on two legs.
"But honestly, we're talking turds. I'm not really picky," Engelmann said.
From there, she goes to her back patio and unloads her tote bag. She hangs them on a fishing line, dips them in liquid plastic, and waits for them to dry.
This is the longest part of the process. She usually does several dozen at one time and waits a couple of days between each coat. After three coats of plastic, she brings them inside.
"Two coats would do, but I just feel better with three," she said, tapping the hard-shelled exterior of a turd with her fingernail. "I may play with turds, but I won't handle them if they're not covered in plastic."
After that, it can take up to four hours to dress them up. She uses a hot glue gun to stick on the bird's limbs (she uses driftwood from the beach, grape wood and in some cases, just plain old sticks) and outfits them with fashion accessories -- including doll clothing, hats and jewelry -- to give each one some personality.
Then she gives them a name -- names include Fifi Feces, Doyle Dumpalot, and Grey Poopon -- and a personalized name card that she autographs.
Engelmann's favorites are the custom orders ("It never ceases to amaze me what people come up with," she said). Her favorite bird of all is Lola Crappola, the Carmen Miranda-style bird, which was her first custom order. She made the famous fruit bowl hat out of Play-Doh and the fruit was made with Runts candy.
Most people buy the birds for gifts, Engelmann said. They buy the hairdresser birds to give to their hairdresser. An employee from Kaiser bought some of the nurse birds for her staff.
Karen Engelmann describes how she began "Turd Birds" in Lodi. (Jennifer M. Howell/News-Sentinel)
But businesses have also embraced them, special ordering the birds jackets with their company logo or outfitting them with appropriate accessories. For example, a scuba business in Hawaii custom ordered Scooby Poo, a bird with scuba gear.
Some companies take their manure very seriously, Engelmann said, citing one fishing store who wanted to make sure the accessories were authentic.
"I thought, 'We're giving this piece of poop a fishing pole. Does it matter if the fishing hook is real?'" she said.
But Engelmann has been swiftly building a reputation for herself. When people think turd, they often think Engelmann.
"Well, if there's a joke about turds, I've heard it many times over. Some people cut out articles about turd for me. And of course Christmas is really bad. What do I get but the 6-pound chocolate and peanut butter turd?"
But perhaps the most hilarious moment Engelmann has experienced since her home business started was her run-in with a man she calls the Turd Nazi, who tried to get her arrested one morning when he found her hard at work, picking up turds from the field.
He told her to drop the turds. When Engelmann refused to give up her tote, he called the sheriff. Although the sheriff saw the humor of the situation, she was given a ticket that cited her for "theft of poop," which violated a section of the penal code "to be determined." Later the ticket was dropped when the court determined that no violation had occurred.
"Hey, it happens," she said with a chuckle.
To order a Turd Bird catalog, e-mail turdbirdexpress@sbcglobal.net.
Contact Lodi Living Editor Tricia Tomiyoshi at triciat@lodinews.com.
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