Dear Straight Talk: How nice to discover this forum! I’m a new stepfather to a boy, 14, and a girl, 16. Their mother has had full custody for eight years. Please advise as to the ideal stepfather. What’s the worst thing I can do? The best? — New Dad in Vacaville
Nicole, 23, Santa Rosa: Support, support, support. My stepfather is very supportive emotionally. He really listens when I talk and “hears” what I’m saying. He offers advice when I ask, but doesn’t interject opinions otherwise. He’s trustworthy. All this makes him very influential in my life! Remember, the kids didn’t choose you, their mother did, so be mindful of boundaries. Body language and nonverbal cues will show when you’ve crossed them.
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